Good morning! Ohaiyo gozaimasu! I can’t use this phrase anymore because it’s already 10:05 but what the heck. Surprised why I’m up so early, on this boring day? Well, actually I did plan to wake up early. I was supposed to wake up at 9. But of course my phone alarm rang and I turned it off. Then at 9:30 it rang again. (not exactly ring, it plays one of my favourite songs) I looked at it and it displayed ‘Private Call’. Is my phone trying to be funny? Tricking me, ain’t ya? I’m not going to be fooled, heh heh. I was almost going to turn it off but I thought I should answer anyway. Guess what? A person spoke! This is the just-woke-up syndrome. The symptoms are:
- You cannot distinguish reality from fantasy.
- Inanimate things around you are alive. (Number 1 should probably explain that)
- You can’t think. Which is why I can’t give you numbers 4, 5, and so on.
Once I woke up from an afternoon nap, and my dad was walking by. I stopped him, pointed to the clock and started saying really weird stuffs. I think it has something to do with the clock being evil and all. I don’t really remember. Of course my dad said I was crazy.
Well, back to the call. It was a guy calling from McDonalds, asking me all sorts of questions. First, he got my surname wrong but I couldn’t care less to correct him. Then he asked if I got any McD newsletters to which I replied ‘no’. There’s a newsletter? Yay! Colourful pictures to look at! Then he asked if my address was Harry Potter Stneet*. Huh? Stneet? Come on. Are you stupid or are you stupid? Stneet? Is that even a word? I’m pretty damn sure I wrote ‘street’ in the form so it must be the stupidity of the person who re entered my details or you need to get your eyes and your brains checked.
Then he asked for my birthday which made me happy because surely he wants to send me something special on that day. Yay! After a few more questions he hung up. Then I started to think. Why did he call to ask me questions? Does he not trust me? Or the whole form is full of Stupid’s mistakes? Or is this a con? Well, I don’t think I gave him any details I shouldn’t have given him. I’m still safe, I guess.
Here’s an idea, if you’re into tricking people, do it when they’ve just woken up. And please don’t do it to me if you don’t want to be burnt alive by lava spewing from my mouth.
*Footnote: For the sake of confidentiality, the address has been changed.