Die spammers! Die!

My Yahoo email used to be clean. No spam. Bulk mail? Zero. But I couldn’t keep it private forever. You give your email address out. That’s its function. To be given out. But I chose carefully who to give it too. Though, soon after, I began to get lazy. I don’t scan the candidate list anymore. Anybody is fine. So now I get spammed. But funny thing is I only have 2 spammers and one of them happened to be my friend. Never mind. She doesn’t know what she’s doing. Totally forgivable. But then there’s this Indian girl whom I don’t know at all. You see, once I put up an ad for pen pals – I was bored – and she mailed me. So okay, I replied, introduced myself and asked for some introduction in return. She answered like one-third of my questions, misinterpreted my mail and went on with…you know what? I’ll post it here.

1^st mail from her:

Hi

This is X from India a Z y/o. gal. Read ur ad in A. 

I 2 like 2 make frens across d world.

I found v have similar interests n hobbies.

Lyke to make u make my frens.

Rest after ur mail.

X

1^st reply from her:

how ru ? U wrote dere is a quake dere. R u ok ? Hows ur family n all ?
I m worrrid 4 u . Pl take care of all n urself 2. Ok
yeah dear Im workin as an B.

Ill write u sometime later. Boss is dere any time
Bye
Take care
god bless u
ur fren 4e ever from India

I did not say anything about a quake here. I was taking about the big quake in Taiwan which caused the connection to slow down. See, she never paid attention. And it was a short mail. Did I say I hate short, meaningless mails?

I repeated my questions in the next mail and she finally answered some of it and then proceeded to say:

I hope ur enjoying my forward mails.
Right after ur mails
Take care
god bless u
Bye

I stopped replying and she kept sending me forwarded mails after that. Forwarded mails from India are different, I tell you. Not that I read it, you just know from the titles. Once I had enough and marked her as spam. But I still get mails from her. I guess you can only mark a mail as spam and not the person, huh?

So why am I only writing about this after so long? That’s coz I now get viruses from her friends. You know, Suresh, Abhi, Vivek, those people. I got two today from ‘my Indian friends’ with the subject heading ‘Hi’ and inside it says, ‘important textfile’. Hah! How important? Important enough to lure an idiot to click it? Anybody with a brain larger than a pea would know not to click. And then there’s this Anita claiming to be my best friend, asking me to join her Yahoo Group. Will she get incentives for recruiting people?

Stop forwarding me junk, chain letters and invitations to your stupid virtual parties. I know my wishes won’t come true if I send the god damned mail to a million people. Come on. Who are you trying to kid? So, grow up, log out of your freaking email account, and go smoke a fag. What am I saying? Whatever.

P.S: My first rant in this blog! Sigh. Still, it's not 'rant-ish' enough.