Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Home Hot Home

It’s ‘good’ to be home where it’s freaking hot now. It’s so hot my head hurts. Damned weather.

For those who don’t know, I just came back from a holiday and look what I got:

Thanks a lot, you stupid shoe. Now let’s see if it turns black in a few days.

It doesn’t hurt that much anymore except for my left toe because I couldn’t walk right in the airport yesterday and had to kick a hole on the ground. Stupid hole-ly ground. And just now, my cousin kicked my toe. Guess which toe? And just 10 minutes ago, my butter fingers had to let the toner bottle slip off my hands and despite 3 attempts to stop it from falling, it still did and guess where it landed? On my left toe. I swear, the next person or thing to even touch my toe will go to hell.

Well, enough of my toe. Be rest assured you’ll still hear of it again soon.

Let’s talk about people who poo with the door unlocked. You know how the light in the airplane lavatory goes red if it’s occupied and green if it’s not? I wanted to go but the lights to both lavatories were red so I waited. When the people came out I turned around and saw two other people waiting there but they didn’t seem like they wanted to go because they didn’t. Duh. So I got up, walked there and seeing that the light is still green with the word ‘vacant’ and the two people still waiting there, god knows why, I opened the door. And then there was a hand pulling the door back from the inside. What the?

The crew man there then said “Oops there’s someone inside. Please queue up.” Now I feel like the desperate inconsiderate person who doesn’t know what a queue is. Please queue up? How the hell would I know that’s a freaking queue since they’re just standing there and not going into the VACANT toilet?

And then there was this one air stewardess who couldn’t handle stress. The pilot was obviously speeding since we were 30 minutes ahead of time and that must have made the crews panic because they were running around looking like they’ve got a million dollar deal to sign. That was when my friend got hungry and thought she’d get nasi lemak. They were so busy we couldn’t catch them so we pressed the bell. Still, we were ignored. Finally the stressed air stewardess came and asked rudely, “What do you want? (I’m very busy, can’t you see that? You’re such a pain in the ass)” What do I want? What do you want? A fight?

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

When it's black, you get your money back

Given my boring life, I can safely say that today is the most exciting day of the year. Ok maybe not ‘the year’; I don’t remember if anything out of the ordinary happened more than 3 months ago.

So why was today so cool? Well, first I went to watch Beowulf with my friend and right when Beowulf was about to strip naked, the queen’s voice became a little distorted and the screen blinked once. GSC’s ‘magnificent quality’, I thought to myself. Two seconds later it went blank for good and the whole cinema turned pitch black. Someone sitting to our right, from Family Information, said there was a blackout in the whole mall. Well, they were right coz right after hearing that, three men with torchlights came in and said that there was a blackout and we can refund our tickets. What?! But Beowulf was just about to strip! (Not like I care)

So everyone got out and made a big gathering at the lobby. Too bad it was still early. If it happened at night, the whole mall would be blindingly dark. Eerie…and cool! The light shining through from the center court brightened the mall ripping half the fun away. Boo.

We were told to wait for 15 minutes and if the electricity didn’t come back we can go claim our money. Although I was disappointed to find that Beowulf were fully (well, almost, more of that later) animated, it had already start to grab my attention and I didn’t want a refund. I just wanna go back and watch my movie. Finally the electricity came back! My Beowulf! But it only came back for a split second and it was dark again. But of course that was just a joke and it finally did come back on. So everyone went back to their seats and Mrs. Information started telling her daughter that the whole island experienced the electricity cut. They sure know everything don’t they?

Right after eavesdropping on their information-filled conversation, I sms-ed my dad to confirm. They were right! Family Information, they are!

Things resumed, Beowulf stripped, and then we realized that the king was a real person. It started to get funny because everyone else was fake except him. Later after that he turned into cartoon again and back to life and cartoon again and someone else came to life and went back to being cartoon, yada yada yada. And when Angelina Jolie first appeared she was real but as she turned around Beowulf, her face started to look like plastic. Yea, she turned into cartoon. (Oh heck! Now I get what joyfulchicken was talking about! Angelina Jolie has no nipples! So you did watch Beowulf already!)

Overall, Beowulf wasn’t that bad. It was quite good actually considering the comedic switches between life person and cartoon person. There was this part about Grendal’s private parts. That was funny. Beowulf is a comedy!

The fun doesn’t end there. No, the mall didn’t collapse. Remember when I said I haven’t ran in years and how I missed running in the rain? Well, my wish was granted. It rained and we ran like mad to our cars behind the cemetery opposite the mall. We were cheapskates after all. Parking in the mall is just too expensive for poor people like us.

Running for the first time in years made me realize that I can’t run anymore. My internal organs felt like candy in a shaking jar. Eik. That’s a bad simile. Whatever. And this entry is starting to get winding long. I better stop now. Never mind the part where I scared the shit out of a dog when I ran like an elephant.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

This is serious matter

My dad called to let me know his phone got stolen today. I just woke up then so my thoughts were just as clear as mud, and I didn’t ask if he had called to suspend his line. Since I can’t reach him anymore, I decided to call the telco myself.

“Hello welcome to Telco X. Your current balance is bla bla bla. Kindly reload before bla bla. To change your… please press 1. To….please press 2. To speak to a HUMAN, please press 0,” the machine spoke in a super slow, monotonous voice.

And so I pressed 0. Another machine with a different voice spoke. “To Select the current language, please press 1. WTF? I thought I’ll be speaking to humans?

And so I pressed 1. Again, a machine spoke! To…please press 1. To…please press 2. To report a stolen phone, please press 3.

And so I pressed 3.

“To report a stolen phone, please press 1.” WTF?

So I pressed again, for the hundredth time. The recorded voice continued on and finally I was asked to HOLD ON while a consultant answers my call whereby our conversation will be recorded in case you didn’t know.

A guy who didn’t introduce himself answered. Let’s call him Mr. Birdbrain. I told Mr. Birdbrain what I wanted to do.

Mr. Birdbrain: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. Your line is breaking off.

I walked around the house trying to find a good spot but Mr. Birdbrain still couldn’t hear me clearly.

Mr. Birdbrain: Never mind, just talk louder ok?


Me: I wanna report a stolen phone. The number is bla bla.

And the conversation went on to have him found out that it wasn’t my phone. It took him very long to find that out. Birdbrain.

Mr. Birdbrain: I’m sorry, I cannot suspend his line unless he himself calls me. We just need to confirm his identity card no. and record his voice. Don’t worry, he can call us from any phone, including a public phone.

Record his voice?!?! What’s that, voice signature!? Vomit. You mean record the conversation so the boss knows you didn’t break any rules?

Me: How can I ask him to call you when I myself can’t reach him in the first place? Of course I know he can call you from any phone. What do you think I am, a birdbrain like you?

Mr. Birdbrain: I’m sorry, it’s against our policy. Suspending someone’s line is A SERIOUS MATTER.

Fine. Against your policy huh? Well, you’ll need to revise your policy then.

I called again and this time another guy answered. He told me his name but I forgot. So we shall call him Mr. Rational. Mr. Rational found out right away it wasn’t my phone. Shit. He knows. I can’t con him now. Damn. However, unlike Birdbrain, Mr. Rational understood the situation and after verifying things with me he suspended the line.

Kudos to Mr. Rational. Mr. Birdbrain, you need to revise your policy. Policies are meant to be broken if you want your customer to remain loyal. You just have to know when you can break them and when you can’t.

I was prepared to give my long, winding speech on how they have created a dissatisfied customer and how the person who listens to the records should REVISE the policies, had Mr. Rational turn out to be another birdbrain.

I got my wish but you know what’s funny? My dad had already suspended it and got a new card in the telco center before he called me. So I actually suspended his new card. Hallelujah.

Now I have to listen to the monotonous voice again.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Moving rubber

What gets into your mind when you see those words?

Anyway, I really like this ad. It's called the Gatsby Moving Rubber. Just found out about its name on Youtube. Don't know what it means though. And those colourful round things. What are they?

Like it! Makes me laugh every time I see it :P

And I love this too.

When there's music, everything becomes fun!

Friday, November 16, 2007

This is painful to write

I’m pushing myself to blog. I was supposed to do it last night but, what a ‘surprise’, I procrastinated. I’ve got nothing much to say, really. It’s like I’ve blogged as many times as I would be allowed to in this lifetime and I just can’t do it anymore. By the way, is it just me, or is everyone getting boring-er by the day?

(Hah! I turned on the modem but didn’t connect to the internet. Stupidity at its peak. Nah. I’ve done sillier things. I just had to say it. Stupidity at its peak)

Anyhow, it’s time I write something. This place is growing mold.

The exams are over but I didn’t get the feeling of extreme happiness :P I’m happy, alright, it’s evident through my face. You’ll see me smiling while I’m walking, sitting, sleeping, almost always when I’m alone. Scary? Haha! That’s why I buried my face in the table yesterday after I finished my last question. So people don’t think I’ve lost my sanity. But the feeling is just not it. Did I grow up? Aw! Adults are boring!

The second last paper didn’t kill me even though it was darn stressful. It gave me pimples. Yay. Not. Now I’ve got the constellation of Aquila with a missing dot to the left of my chin. Although I think it looks more like a scorpion. I don’t understand constellations. They don’t look like whatever they’re supposed to be. Some are missing tails, some are missing legs, some are…you get my point. So I say mine is a scorpion.

My paragraphs aren’t connecting. Hahaha! You know what? I can’t write. Can’t believe I posted this up. Think I’ll go bury my face in the wall now.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Noisy people

Forget yesterday….make the great escape…da da dada…anyway…da da dadada

This song saved me from noisy invigilators. When I found out my seat was the first one, right in front of the invigilators’ tables, I thought, This is it. I’m gonna have to tolerate people talking while I drain my brain to answer questions. Great. And I was right. From the very beginning two invigilators started talking like it was nobody’s business. And they were exactly 1.5 feet right in front of me.

But the song saved me. For some reason, whatever they said didn’t get to me. The words just kept on playing. Forget yesterday…da da dada…It didn’t matter that they had talked for like 30 minutes, loudly. People next to me were shifting uneasily, but me? Forget yesterday…we’ll make the great escape…

They probably didn’t have that song in their head. Well they should at least tell the invigilators to shut it right? Just like last week when another two loud invigilators, and I mean real loud invigilators were talking and laughing, and everyone sheeesssshhh-ed them. That shut them up for good. Why do they have so many things to talk about? Unlike them, right now I can’t think of anything else to say. What else was I going to say? Hmm…that song is still in my head. Why? Why? Whyyy??!

I broke a record yesterday. I didn’t go to crunchyroll for two straight days. That’s a record. Right now, it’s going to be revenge-crunchyroll-video watching.

I can’t write anymore. I’m so boring these days. Help.

…Forget yesterday…da da dada dada

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Everything tastes like chicken

I went to a wedding dinner today. One thing good about it is that unlike other weddings, they didn’t play that Elvis song I hate. Instead they had people going up to the stage to sing. Somehow it’s like a trend in their family. When her brother got married they had the same too. Then old drunk uncles would go up to the stage and sing and make funny moves that they’d shoot themselves out of shame if they ever find out.

I wasn’t going to blog about this but something happened and it’s like “Blog!” Wanna know what?

When the appetizers came, my cousin was the first one who took one of the dishes and she said, “Nice chicken.” Then someone said it’s not chicken.

Well, anyway, I didn’t care what she took but the dark coloured gravy dish looks good so I took a piece. And I thought, Hmm nice chicken. But it’s small though. And it’s bony. Well, whatever. Why did someone say it’s not chicken? Oh maybe the brown one is not chicken. So I took the brown one. Hmm. Tastes like chicken too.

“Hey try the frog,” my mom said as she pointed to the first dish I tried.
“Frrr….og???” What the f***! Frog?? But it tastes like chicken! It can’t be. Frogs aren’t supposed to taste nice. Maybe it was the gravy that’s nice. F*** I can’t believe I ate it! I ate its leg! That’s why it’s so god damned bony!

Who the hell serves frog in a wedding!? (by the way, did the title gave it off?)

Hallelujah. Neko graduated from not eating weird stuff. But that doesn’t mean she’s gonna try the duck fetus. Don’t even think about it JC and Arthur.

So that horror made me feel like sharing it with you. I once swore I would never eat a frog, or a dog, or a duck fetus, and anything that’s not a fully grown duck, chicken, or pig. So isn’t it horrifying to be told you just ate a frog? Thank god it wasn’t a dog. I would have exploded there and then.

Enough of that. Here comes the sentimental part. A girl went up to the stage and sang and seeing her made me feel like cutting my hair real short, pack my bags, and sayonara, I’m off to travel across the seas and land. My mom said I was crazy. But really, don’t you ever wish you could leave everything behind and just live a life?

Friday, November 2, 2007

Mr. Scribbles

I lost Mr. Scribbles and I thought I would never see him again. How wrong was I.

Mr. Scribbles is actually a small little black notebook I use to pen down whatever idea that forms in my mind, be it for a blog entry or for a story, before it fades away. I gave him a name just for the purpose of writing this.

Just a few days ago I realized Mr. Scribbles was gone. Scribbles Sr. is still around but Mr. Scribbles wasn’t in his rightful spot on my desk anymore.

He’s been gone for a long time and I was too ignorant to realize that. Maybe because I didn’t find much use of Mr. Scribbles lately as I was too preoccupied with things I’d rather not be occupied with.

Of course the quick thinking me thought about the possibilities of finding Mr. Scribbles at my work place. No, actually, I looked around the house for it till I was about to go crazy. That’s how important Mr. Scribbles is. Then today I went to my work place just to see if Mr. Scribbles is there.

“Did you see a small black notebook?”

“How small? This small?” my boss said as he made a small little ‘o’ with his fingers. “Yea, I saw one. It was a blank notebook right?”

I looked and I found it. My Mr. Scribbles! It not empty but I’m glad he thought it was. I wouldn’t want anyone peeking into my thoughts. Or maybe he already did.

On the side note, I’ve finally thrown away most of my shoe boxes and most of them had shoes inside. All my shoes are gone. I just realized I’m left with one black heel which I’ll never wear anymore (I just don’t have the heart to throw it away) and a platform shoe. So if I don’t want to settle for flat shoes I’ll have to go with the big, chunky platform. I need new shoes. How are the shoes in Philippines? I’m excited haha.

If you read the previous entry, I’m sure you know about me and my drama sickness. I’m starting to watch old dramas again, ones which I can’t quite remember the storylines anymore. I started with episode 1 of Strawberry On the Shortcake last night and my, must I say, it’s good. Ok maybe I’m exaggerating a little here. But still, it’s making me feel inspired. Ahh, the feeling of being inspired. And I’m reserving the final episode of Kamisama Mou Sukoshi Dake for tonight. I have a feeling it’s going to be sad. I’ll have to sleep it off. I hope I can do that.

I know you don’t want to read about this, but who should I to tell if not you, right? Anyway, you won’t have to hear me dwell about it much longer because I’m going to start a drama blog. Hmm…when will that be?

Anyway, welcome back, Mr. Scribbles.