Monday, April 30, 2007

Dreamer's Reader

I dreamt that there are readers for comments. Meaning if any new comments are posted I would know. That way I don’t have to go back to the archives to see if there are any new comments just like what I’m doing now. Not for my own blog of course. I get notified if it’s my blog. What, you didn’t know? Hahahaha!

Wouldn’t it be good if there’s such a reader. Huh, you mean there is?

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Lazy pillow

I saw this in Tokyo Mango.

Look at her head. Ouch. Doesn't look very comfortable to me. I'd rather sit up straight and watch. And did they intentionally make that spelling mistake?

This little invention here will definitely take my slothish* (wow new word!) lifestyle a step further. It may not look comfortable, but it's an effort. Now they should go make one that looks more comfortable.

*I briefly googled (hah! a new way of saying it!) to see if slothish has already been discovered. Looks like I'm the first. I'm getting it patented.

Buttaches and curly hair

I have buttache. How do you get buttaches? I know my cousin gets it by going bowling. I got it because I stood around for a couple of hours. Stood around waiting for the stupid kid to give me my food! Stupid uncivilized school kids. I went to an – wait let’s see…Where’s that coupon… Argh!!! Goddamnit! I turned around to reach for the stupid coupon and I got a shoulder cramp! *pissed* Ok it says here entrepreneur day food fair, organized by the school opposite my workplace. The kid-customers cut the queue and the kid-entrepreneurs ignore you. Stupid kids. Wanna be entrepreneurs? Dream on.

Argh! My right butt hurts. And the pain has decided to take a jog down to my thigh. Now my thigh hurts. Damnit.

Since my butt hurt so much I… *went to have dinner*

15 minutes later…Ow man! Now my left foot hurts. I have footache. Fantastic. This just goes to show how much of a sloth I am. A little stretching and I get cramps. As for the foot I blame the shoes. Damned shoes.

Oh ya I was saying, since my butt hurt so much, I decided to sit on the cushion chair at the counter and read a book. (I was working) Halfway into it I noticed a black strand of something on the table. Oh my god! It’s curly hair! It’s somebody’s curly hair! And it’s on the freaking table! Oh gawd yuck! I couldn’t stand the sight of it so I blew it away and continued reading. Later I found that I can’t see the curly hair anywhere. Not that I was looking for it. I carefully lifted the stacks of papers up but the hair was nowhere to be seen. Then I realized. Could it be that the hair got blown into the messy pile of papers which I had later stuffed into my bag? Oh my god. I think I’m going to throw up.

ID please

You know, sometimes I would fool myself into believing that I’m still 19. And from my looks I could fool just about anyone into believing so. In fact I’ll take it further and say I’m 17 and they, not for a million dollars, would doubt me.

A customer walked into the shop today and he said to my colleague, “You’ve got a lot of assistants today.” Then he looked at me. “Now you must be someone’s sister only here to help for the day. It’s illegal for an underage to work you know.”

*emotionless smile* I’ve got nothing to say.

Once I was stopped from entering the cinema because that idiot underage-looking guy thought I was below 18. Hey go look in the mirror, you! My friends couldn’t stop joking about it after that. What’s so funny? But everyone thought it was. I never told anyone about that incident. I guess I’ve gotten over it. It’s OK to tell now. You can laugh all you want now and I won’t care because 10 years down the road, I’ll be the one laughing. Still, I don’t want to be in that embarrassing situation again so I try to look like I’m dead serious every time I walk in the cinema for an above 18 movie. Never smile. Never. Smile and it’s time to reach for your identity card.

The cold, hard fact is not so. I’m 21 turning 22 and I hate that idea. Yea I know, being in the early 20s is the best. When you’re 50, you’re gonna look back and say “Ahh…those days in my 20s. What a time!” But I’m not exactly having a ball of a time. Which is why I don’t want to grow old. I’d like to be like this until the time when I can really have the time of my life. Then I can record that down as those sweet early 20s days. Then I’ll be contented. Then I’ll move on and grow old and do the late 20s or 30s stuff. Eew couldn’t believe I just said that. When I looked at the number 21, it felt really young for an age. And I’m talking like someone with midlife crisis.

There can never be enough fun.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Tears and a broken nail

The other day I walked passed the living room where my mom was watching TV. There were screams and shouts coming from the black box which made whatever she was watching seem really interesting. A few days later I sat down and watched it with her. It turned out to be a Taiwanese programme called Fire Challenge which airs every weeknight on ETTV Asia (I don’t know if I got the channel right). What they do is they get three judges to sit and watch catfight. Yup, you heard that right. People actually go to them to settle whatever relationship problems they have and it usually gets really ugly. They don’t go to counselors where things are settled in a less barbaric way. Maybe it’s because they get to do it for free. They might even be paid to do it. Who knows.

Anyway, the first time I watched it, there was this woman who found out about her husband’s little secret – that he has another wife in another country. Oo that was ugly. Slapping and scratching… Drama, I like! I thought it couldn’t get any worse, but the next day – I don’t remember who went on the next day – there were more slapping and punching and screaming and shouting. After a few episodes I’m beginning to feel that all this is a set up. Like WWF. Well, it’s WWE now but it was still WWF back in those days when I was a big fan. Yup, that’s another thing you heard right. I was a wrestling fan. When I was 15 I would stay up every Monday and Thursday nights – if I don’t remember wrongly – to watch WWF. Ahh…those days…

Back to Fire Challenge. Yesterday’s was really sad. I felt for the girl. For once I thought that maybe it’s not a set up. Some parts still gave me the doubts because it seemed that the host knew what was coming. But maybe because he had to know. He’s the host after all. Gotta have some control. Talking about control, once they had the place fenced up. Whatever for!? It’s not like they’ll go amok and start bashing everyone they see. Today they have lesbians. I haven’t watched it yet. Lesbian fight. Should be fun.

Sayonara Bye Bye

And just like that it is over. My writing test is over. I was prepared to tell you how I had struggled for 15 minutes thinking about what to write and how I had ended up writing a love story. *yuck* I’d never write a love story. I don’t know, it just makes my hair stand. I’d watch one, read one, but never write one. I’d rather write about dark humour. But fear not, all that didn’t happen. Upon looking at the 5 words which I’m supposed to construct a story, instantly I got an idea. I owe all that to watching Otogi Zoshi last night. Still, one hour flew by like superman and I was just able to finish my last sentence on the dot. No chance for a proofread. Heh I’m making it sound pro. Nevertheless, it’s over and I’m now completely free, meaning nothing to do, and no deadlines to meet. Which only means I’ll screw up all my time and feel like an asshole at the end of it. Yay!

Speaking of writing, I do have one deadline which I must meet. I’ve been wanting to write for this competition since like 3 weeks ago, back when I was busy with the exams. And now that I’m completely free, I’m not writing it. It happens all the time. Oh you didn’t know? I worship the God of Procrastination; the one and only god unanimously worshipped by all living beings.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Pork shoes

Saw this in a shop about a month ago. I don’t know bout you, but to tell you the truth, I’ve never seen this sign before. Never ever in my 20-odd years of life. You can laugh now. And I tell ya, the shoes on that shelve aren’t cheap. But they make you feel like you’re walking in heaven. Pork shoes. Hmm.

I don’t see the line between religiously right and wrong anymore. Wait, I’ve never seen it.

Talking bout shoes. Remember those transformer robots? (It’s relevant OK). Those robots that are being made into a movie right now? (I don’t understand it. Why? Why make it a movie?) Japan now has transformer shoes. No, not shoes with robot prints on it. But robots that transform into shoes! And talking bout robots. They have robot earphones as well. What’s up with them and robots?

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Nauseating reads

After 12 hours straight of sleep, 3 hours of games, and 2 1/2 hours of doing I-don’t-really-know-what, I shall now proceed with criticizing blogs. Yes, for the next 30 minutes I shall be a critic. There are only 2 things which I would like to point out, after weeks of reading blogs, being unable to write myself.

One: Links

Some people love to link. They cannot live without links just like you and I cannot live without food.

Scenario 1:
I visit a stranger’s blog. Post no.1 has links. Plenty of them. 4 links and 5 sentences. Let’s have an example here.

Remember Laura? The woman who got herself involved in the scandal? I once said something unpleasant about her here and now whatever I said came true. Read this article. Oh my life is a mess!

In other words: Remember Laura? The woman who if you must know you must read the scandal, my blog entry on 17th October 1998, and the news article.

Feel like reading it still? No? Let’s go to post no.2. Huh? Post no. 2 has more links! Goodness gracious! You know what, we should give this fella another chance. Let’s go to the 3rd post. Yay! Guess what? Come on, guess... Links again? Duh. Forget about getting strangers to read your blog. Friends won’t even read it either. Not even your best bud. It’s worse than doing homework and as if that’s not bad enough you have to make us do more homework and throwing up on it by writing the entire blog with links. Thanks, but no thanks.

There is no Scenario 2. They’re all of the same breed of bastards.

Two: Bombastic words

Some people have fantastic English. It’s a good thing. You don’t want to read a blog by someone who failed their Grade 3 English paper. Trust me. But then, you don’t want to read a blog by someone who got A+ for their Grade 99 English paper too.

Their English makes you feel minute. Infinitesimal. You’re being shrunk so small it hurts. Your eyes hurt. Your head hurts. They hurt because you have to consult the dictionary – which has gained a massive amount of weight due to your diminution – one too many times. After 3 minutes your eyes start to bleed and all you want to do is close the damned page. Close it! Close it! It’s evil!

To those with unusual desire for links and those just a half too clever, you can kiss new readers goodbye unless, unless------- your blog smells of 13 virgins.

I shall now retire from criticizing. If you’d like to drop a bomb, drop it at the critics. Not me, not me, I’m not a critic.

Monday, April 23, 2007

13 Virgins

What do 13 virgins give you? Or in a perverted manner, what do 13 virgins smell like?

An angel.

Yes, 13 virgins smell like an angel. Think I’m a nut? Watch Perfume. Yes, Perfume, the movie that was probably banned. I’m pretty sure it was. I don’t have to be a genius to guess that those pea-brains in the censorship board had it removed. If it wasn’t it’d be too censored to make any sense. So it had to be. I love banned movies.

I’m not going to spoil it for you if you haven’t watched it. So let’s see...How can I put this? Try linking a boy with an incredible olfaction with murders. Eh? Yea I know I didn’t see the link either. Can’t blame a simpleton like me. (Repeat that 's' word and I’ll kill you).

I’m not going to say any further. The only thing I want to talk about is 13 virgins. 13 virgins give you an angel. 13 virgins mellow all revenge. 13 virgins make you a god. And that’s because 13 virgins can forgive all sins. Just like J. (The abbreviated form is kinda cool. “Jay”. Oh no it could be abbreviated as JC! You didn’t choose that name on purpose now, did you?)

Okay back to the virgins. 13 virgins also turn sweet omnivorous humans into cutthroat carnivores. What? Everything has a good and a bad to it. What do you expect? Finally, 13 virgins lead to an orgy. Let me rephrase that. 13 virgins lead to a priest partaking in an orgy. Imagine a priest indulging in an orgy! Amen to that!

Perfume. Perfume is sarcastic. Perfume is ironic. Perfume is sadistic. Perfume is humorous. Profumo! E...E buono...guardare? Ugh I can’t speak Italian. Just watch it.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Hello? Anybody?

Time must have stopped. I don’t get new mails, not even junk. Okay I did get one junk today. Yay. Right. It’s going straight to the trash. And nobody’s updating their blogs. Maybe one or two did but they’re not making me laugh. And I’ve got nothing to write. Maybe I’ve lost the gist. Jeez I can’t write! And I’ve got a writing test coming up. *fidgety* Worry, worry, worry *bites finger nails*

I have almost 10 DVDs and 2 series to watch but I’m not watching them. I’ve got 1 volume of manga and 3 novels to read but I’m not reading them. And I went to the library and got myself 4 books. Oh no I’ve got so many things waiting for me but I’m not doing any of them. Hold on, what has this to do with not writing blogs? Anyway… Thing is time has stopped! Or maybe I’ve stopped. It feels like January all over again.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Remember, Remember, The 5th of November

Sounds familiar? V for Vendetta. It’s an old movie but I’ve only just watched it 2 days ago and I tell you it’s quite a nice watch. The 2 lines on the DVD cover already hinted that it’s going to be something.

‘The people should not be afraid of the government. The government should be afraid of the people.’

Cool. I don’t know what to say about it actually. A movie about a masked man who gives you the first impression that he’s a complete fruitcake. What is there to say?

His extensive use of words starting from ‘v’ and his speed of talking stunned me. This guy probably used all the ‘v’ words ever existed in the history of mankind. Honestly I didn’t understand a word he said. All the ‘v’ words which most I’ve never even seen before. Fruitcake. He’s a fruitcake! But I like it. It’s been sometime since I’ve watched a movie which plays around with words. Bollocks is another word used throughout the movie.
“That’s bollocks.”
Okay they could’ve said something else instead of bollocks ALL the time. There’s a large variety of profanes you can use, you know. Men seem to be inclined to scurrilities; it’s probably the fastest growing language around. This goes to show that V is the only person who reads the thesaurus. But I like bollocks. I hardly hear the word. I’ve never used it. It’s not common here. It reminds me of how the brits say ‘rubbish’. It’s roo-bish. I’ve been watching BBCE lately. There’s this series called Waterloo Road. I don’t know why I watch it. It’s like OC or One Tree Hill only they don’t live in mansions or have a psychopathic father. I don’t understand their English too. It’s too heavy an accent for me. But I like it. Hmm. It seems to me that I like things I can’t completely comprehend.

Back to V. Okay…what did I want to say? Oh yea I wondered why they didn’t ban that movie. It’s teaching the people to go against the government. Shouldn’t the government do something about it? Maybe they liked the idea of the ‘former United States’. Yes, in that movie US is non-existent. US is history. But wait. The movie is also racist! You can’t keep a Koran in your house. Keep it and they’ll bag your head in a black bag and it’s straight to the execution stand for you. But Koran is half bible! Why….why?

Quite a disturbing movie but I like it. Haha! I liked the way they made it disturbing. V for vendetta, I don’t get the whole picture but it's…ve…ve…ugh forget the v, it's one heck of a fruitcake show - and I like it.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Meme: 5 Things You Never Knew About Me

What better way to start a new blog than with a meme? Hah I don’t mean those words. But anyway it does suit this situation as it’s about the 5 Things You Never Knew About Me, doesn’t it? A little introduction, eh?

Okay here goes, in no particular order:

1. I have a scar on my finger from trying to cut a chocolate. Why the heck would one do that?! I took it out from the fridge and it was as hard as hell and I have no patience so I took a knife and tried to cut it. Unfortunately a kid like me back then has hands too retarded to properly use a knife. So there you go. The story of me and the scar on my finger. It’s not like those how-I-got-the-scar-on-my-face stories but a scar is a scar. It’s barely visible unless you look hard enough, though. Well, now you know. You don’t have to look.

2. I absolutely cannot listen to the song Can’t Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley. It doesn’t matter who sings it. I can’t take it. It’s intolerable. I don’t know why. I’ve hated it since I was a kid. I remember my first time listening to it. I was sitting in the backseat of the car looking out through the back window when I heard it playing on the radio. A boy was cycling behind the car. And it was cloudy and about to rain. Funny how you remember certain things. Ugh fact is I hate that song. I’m Can’t-Help-Falling-In-Love-song phobe. When they play it in weddings – which they ALWAYS do, repeatedly – I would excuse myself to the toilet. Or I start humming out other songs or talk loudly. When my friends intentionally sing or play it when I’m in the room, I’d also excuse myself to the loo. Jeez it has become the toilet inducer song.

3. I’ve never slept through a sleep without dreaming. I always dream. There’s always something to dream about. I woke up this morning without any memory of having dreamt or not because I was rudely woken up by a call. Yea I know it was noon but hey, a cat can sleep till 12. She can sleep till 3 if she wants to. Darn. I could have dreamt about a cute guy and…Hah! I remember now! My dream! Not going to tell you.

4. My favourite spot when I was small was the stairs. I do everything there. I color there. I sit and day dream there. Sometimes I eat there. There were times when I slept there. Once I did superman there! Really! I cleared like almost 15 steps with one leap. I was a crazy girl. Woo-hoo! But when I grew bigger my butt can’t fit on the tiny steps anymore. So…Nah there was no ‘so…’. I don’t have any particular favourite spots anymore. Not one where I can do stunts, at least. Adults are boring.

5. I study on the bed. Nothing to say here.

Hey this is kinda fun. I think I’m going to throw in more. This is free information about me. Make sure you memorize them.

6. My favourite talk show is Parkinson. Not that I watch that many talk shows. I don’t see why people like Oprah. I watched it once and she was nothing but boring. Maybe it was the wrong episode. I watched Letterman but I can’t get his lame jokes. Some are funny, yes, but there are equal numbers of lame ones too. Then there’s this one, Koffee With Karan. This is nice too but Parkinson is nicer. The only reason I watch Karan was because you get to hear about Bollywood, which I never really cared about in the first place. I’m weird.

7. I was baptized into the Church of Animation last year, Sept 1.

8. Ok this one is more like an embarrassing confession. I don’t eat fish unless someone throws out the bones for me. Yes, I’m one lazy cat. A cat that won’t go very far for fish. Fishes don’t taste all that nice anyway. Chickens taste better.

I’d like to go till number 10 but I’ll stop here. If I don’t it might get lamer and lamer and then I can add a number 11 where I say I can doze people off just by talking about myself.

P.S: Will not be tagging anyone. Sorry for breaking it. Can't think of anyone to tag. If you want to do it, feel free to do it. You're just indirectly tagged by me. :)