Today I went to the branch office of the country’s main telecommunications provider to make some enquiries. I sat there with my back facing the counters while waiting for my number. Mom was looking at the people behind the counters telling me how slow they are at their work. I sat with my ass facing them for a reason. I don’t want to know how slow they are. It will just make my blood boil. And I definitely didn’t need commentaries fed into my ears either. Tick tock tick tock. My number is still not called. Only one counter is open for enquiries and that 3032 two guys there are taking forever. (I was 3036) I can’t imagine how long they might take to chat up a girl. Maybe they’ll keep on going until she gets old and her breasts sag.
That’s it! I said. I’m gonna…I’m gonna…
Just sit down and wait patiently. Hah! Were you thinking I was going to explode? Did you think that I screamed at the top of my lungs, and took home the drama queen award? Dream on. I did nothing. I’d rather take home the composure award. Patience, my friend. Patience. Did you not learn that in school?
With my butt nicely rooted to the sofa (thank god it’s cushion!) I stared out the door. A woman walks in. The middle-aged guard opens the door. He asks her what she wants. A man walks in. The middle-aged guard opens the door and asks what he wants too. Middle-aged guard finishes his shift and young, bald guard takes over. A woman walks in. Young, bald guard pretends to be blind. And mute. For the rest of his shift, use your imagination.
I continue to observe. A tall man walks in and turns to his friend. He gives the “Hey, how’s it coming?” gesture with his head. His friend flashes him his queue number. Tall Man pats his friend on the back and gives him the “Since we’ll have to wait till the next lifetime, why don’t we go out?” look. They give each other an approving nod and leave. They didn’t exactly leave actually. They simply walked out and stood by the glass door. Both start to smoke a fag. With the cigarette in his mouth, Tall Man starts mumbling to his friend. His friend, who also has a cigarette in his mouth, mumbles back. They both laugh.
Ladies and gentlemen, that was the art of puffing. Do it like the pro. Man, I wanted to say faggots with their faggotry but the definition isn’t right. I might only confuse you up with my own language. But it’s just so fitting don’t you think? Faggots smoking fags doing their faggotry speaking faganese.