Ladies and gentlemen, my new mouse!

I took my mom to the hypermarket today and thought, why not get a new mouse while I’m there? And so I did. Got myself a new mouse, the second cheapest one, because the cheapest one was already sold out. There’s another one much, much more expensive but I don’t see the point in getting one 5 times the price I got mine because a mouse is still a mouse. That goes to show that I don’t know much about mice (hahaha). The one I got is not funky, doesn’t have those leopard skin or whatsoever designs but definitely nicer than my old one, appearance wise, and definitely more handsome than the expensive one too. So since the expensive one did not get its price tag because of its looks than what is it expensive for? Anything I should know about mice?

Here’s what I learnt today about mice…mouses…whatever.

I didn’t know they have a preset life time. It can only last for a hundred thousand hours, that sounds a lot, but shouldn’t it last for as long as I have power supplied to it? And it can only take 3 million clicks, give or take, before it dies? What if I’m obsessive-compulsive and I have to click repeatedly until the page/window shows up? Does that mean my mouse will die after a week? Noooo!!! And there’s a scanning speed? Wonder what that means.

You don’t have to compare yours with mine, yours is probably way cooler. So what? I don’t want a funky one. I may not resist not eating a funky one. Ask philos if you have no idea what I’m talking about. He said I ate my mouse because I’m a cat. Tsk. But I’ll forgive corny people like him.

So what have I got to say about my new mouse? Mousey here is kinda…uh…not as clickable as my old deceased one. I have to put in extra effort when clicking. There goes 0.000000693 calories into that task. Great for those trying to lose weight! And it’s louder too. Plus the sound the left click makes is different from that of the right click. It’s got personality. Wow.

It also moves slowwwwly…When I first plugged it in, it was smooth and fast. I loved it. Then when I actually started using it, it lost speed. It got lazy. What a lazy mouse. Maybe this is what it meant by the scanning speed. Speeds of 1500-3000 per second or lower is characteristic of a lazy mouse. The expensive one is probably a frantic, hectic mouse. Heh.

So I went to Control Panel and adjusted the speed. Still the same. I went back and adjusted it again. It’s still the same! Bah! I went to work and after I came back, I turned on the computer and it was fast again. Huh? Is this some kind of a joke? Does my new mouse hate me like how my touchpad does? *weep*

But of course later I realized. It’s fast when I’m testing it and not actually using it for something. Because when you’re moving it around for a purpose, you tend to hold it down harder. And that’s what makes it go slow. So the trick is to hold it gently, no force, never use force – we know, from the previous post, force is no good. Whichever kind of force is bad – and it’ll go smooth.

I know my mouse inside out! I can even see its insides. Yay! I’m so proud of myself. But I still don’t like it, even after I discovered the trick. You can’t click with no force. And I think since mousey knows I know about his little trick, he’s making the cursor crawl at a snail’s speed all the time now. Fark.