Monday, December 31, 2007

Random facts about Runawaycat

1. Runawaycat is not Politically Correct. She is just Correct. Always.

2. Runawaycat was once charged with attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Runawaycat does not "attempt" murder.

3. No matter what your mother always said, Runawaycat can tune a fish.

4. Runawaycat make onions Cry.

5. There is no Control button on Runawaycat's computer. Runawaycat is always in control.

6. Runawaycat visits an active volcano every morning to get some of "the best damn espresso on Earth".

7. Runawaycat's dog is trained to pick up her own poop because Runawaycat will not take shit from anyone.

8. 182,000 Americans die from runawaycat-related accidents every year.

9. Runawaycat eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, she uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which she uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."

10. Runawaycat does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Runawaycat's fists is inside her own body.

11. Runawaycat has to register every part of her body as a separate lethal weapon. Her spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.

12. Runawaycat knows the last digit of pi.

13. The world's fastest car has 7 gears. 5, 6, and Runawaycat.

14. Runawaycat drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

15. Guns don't kill people. Runawaycat kills People.

16. Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take runawaycat to kill you...Fourty seven times.

17. Runawaycat once participated in the running of the bulls. She walked.

18. When you say "no one's perfect", Runawaycat takes this as a personal insult.

19. Mr. T once defeated runawaycat in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, runawaycat invented racism.

20. Runawaycat qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.

I got too excited and did 20 facts. Inspired by Karljam's (CY) post. Random fact generator.
Did you think I thought of all these myself? Hehehehe. Now I'm gonna try Neko-chan.

Random facts about Neko-chan

1. Neko-chan doesn't use pickup lines, she simply says, "Now."

2. Neko-chan will attain statehood in 2009. Her state flower will be the Magnolia.

3. In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a woman, and vanquish evil from the land. That woman is not Neko-chan, because Neko-chan killed that woman.

4. When Neko-chan goes to donate blood, she declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

5. 4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Neko-chan as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.

6. Neko-chan eats eight meals a day. Seven are steak, and the last is the rest of the cow.

7. Neko-chan is not capable of hitting a target on the broad side of a barn. Every time she tries, the whole damn barn falls down.

8. When Neko-chan looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Neko-chan and Neko-chan.

9. Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Neko-chan touches turns up dead.

10. Neko-chan CAN believe it's not butter.

11. Neko-chan sleeps with a night light. Not because Neko-chan is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Neko-chan.

12. Google won't search for Neko-chan because it knows you don't find Neko-chan, she finds you.

13. Neko-chan sleeps with a pillow under her gun.

14. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Neko-chan allows to live.

15. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Neko-chan once swallowed a turtle whole, and when she crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

16. The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Neko-chan.

17. Neko-chan was once on Jeopardy. This show is notable in that it was the first occasion in Jeopardy history that Alex Trebek had appeared without a mustache. And a head.

18. Neko-chan describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts".

19. A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Neko-chan, 3. Cancer

20. Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Neko-chan because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Neko-chan' autobiography.

See, I got carried away again. Better stop. Now I'm all awake. Sheesh.


Lyn said...

*Evil laughter* I love Neko-chan's number 16 & Runawaycat's number 19 =D

宝茹 said...

Haha~~ what happened to you?

Neko-chan #4, yalor~~~ :P

runawaycat said...

Lyn - Don't really get Runawaycat's no.19 though.

KM - Haha nothing happened to Neko-chan. Neko-chan is always like that :P

I like Neko-chan's facts better :P

CY said...

Oh my, you listed 40 facts altogether! O.o

My faves are:
13. The world's fastest car has 7 gears. 5, 6, and Runawaycat.

12. Google won't search for Neko-chan because it knows you don't find Neko-chan, she finds you.

16. The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Neko-chan. (HAHAHA!!)

runawaycat said...

No.16 makes me sound like a monster. And a significant one.

joyfulchicken said...

This random facts generator thing could be useful for lazy bloggers like me... hmm.

Lyn said...

I don't really get no.19 either, but its funny =D

runawaycat said...

JC - Yea, only copy and paste. Go do it!

Lyn - You don't really get it but it's funny? Hmm...? Haha