Love letter, sorta

I always get this kind of emails (what I’m going to show you next). I don’t know why I get them and I wonder if any of you gets them. Maybe it’s just me. It’s like how weird people seem to like adding my friend in facebook but nobody tries to add me (which is good) I usually delete without reading but today I thought I’d let it amuse me.

(click to show/hide)

By: my new email address, email just for You and Me

hi how are you?before you emailed me after seing my message... i wrote my profile please read below,lets meet soon!call me on your free day or evening before day you can meet: 090-60549457 and tell me time and place you can meet.i am free evenings or weekend,sometimes in the evening i have 2 hour lesson and can meet before or after it,weekdays afternoons or mornings 100% free weekend is fine too!
My introduction: Hello, Nice to meet you! I would like to tell you about me! I am single white male, light blue, sea color eyes, light short brawn hair, regular body type, some muscles. I like to do sports, going to Gym. I attended Universities of New-York, Toronto, London, Sydney, Paris, Munich by special program, sometimes took 2 majors at the same time. I'm fast learner, I study faster that a class. I have been to 28 countries (North America, Europe, and Asia) and can speak 7 (European and Asian) languages. First I learn culture and try to understand people's heart that's why I can improve my language skills quickly. My hobbies are movies, music, dining out, cafes, sometimes karaoke, traveling, reading books, sports, exploring the city. I wrote 3 books, I can show you. I like healthy food, fruits, salads, ect $B!D (Bmy favorite food is kaiseki-"eyes can eat", French, Italian, I also like sushi-because it's healthy and I can try all kinds of seafood, but I like eating all kinds of foods for good balance and can eat anything. Recently I enjoy traveling to tropical islands, I visited Hawaii, Guam. I want to go to Hawaii again and visit Europe to see museums, architecture and some other countries. 11 to 16 years old attended music collage studying saxophone, clarinet, a bit piano. I played on TV when I was teenager, solo in front of 30 people orchestra. At the same time I went to sport club 2-3 times a week 2 hours each time. I played volleyball for 2.5 years, our team few times won city competitions, wrestling for 3 years-I won 3d place at my city, judo, karate, tennis 6 month, cycling 6 month, judo 6 month and rugby. I can cook, make nice pasta, sandwiches, egg and ham breakfast. I am from good family, my parents, grandparents taught me only good things and to never do bad things, health, honesty, hard work and doing everything for family are most important. I like teaching, all my family is teaches, my mother, father, grandmother, uncle, aunt s. I'm good at taking photos, I have thousands of photos, I can show you, I can see a nice angle from which to take photo to show the beauty and have 1000s of photos, many of then are very surprising. I like places with nice view like coffee shops on lake shore, on top of tower...nice place to relax see nature, its nice for relaxing, seeing beauty and taking photos. I began living separate from my parents since age 17, also began part time work, had my own business since 18 year old, could support myself and also helped my parents to buy house. I'm the only child. I had every kind of pet, fish until age of 17, but now it's hard to keep pets, I wanted to become animal doctor or forester until age of 17. When I was teenager everybody in my neighborhood new that I take care of animals and they always brought injured animals or animals without parents and I took care of them and released them after. I like reading in bookstores, libraries, coffee shops with books, magazines $B!D (Bspending hours there. I like nature, parks, picnics, hot springs. I am non smoker and social drinker. Sometimes I like to take slow food and eat slowly for 1-3 hours like in France talking about many nice topics and enjoying food. I always do everything best way, exactly, on time, clean, wear best brand suit, tie... I like new movies, my favorite romantic movies classics are: Message in the bottle, French Kiss, Titanic, You've got mail, Body Guard. I also like comedies, actions, and suspense. I like recent music, my favorite romantic classic songs: I like many new songs, from old songs I like Celine Dion, Maria Carey, Whitney Huston, Boyz2 Men, Brian Adams, Sting, Bon Jovy, Stivy wonder. I know computer, internet very well. I like to see new gadgets very much! I'm optimist and think future will be bright we just need to study, improve, find our way... If I get in my hands new gadget or something I can already guess how use it even menu is not in English! I exercise everyday, like to learn new things, reading newspapers, watching news, study, experience something new things, improve myself, explore city, go watch movies, restaurants, and coffee/tea shops! I have many important friends who work on TV, inventors, company presidents... Before I was working about 15-16 hours a day, making money and enjoying my career, after I thought for some time about purpose of life and thought its not money-its just number in bank and not career-just giving your time to other people or boss, it is family, child, growing child making him or her happy! I always do my best and do, think the best way about health, body, work, family, everything. I like eating healthy foods, like fish, salads, fruits, herb teas, everything that is good for body and health. I invest in stocks and never lost! Even from my 1st stock market trade I made only 900 dollar, so didn't lose. I day traded for 3 month, but after decided that long term 5 years investments in stable companies a re best. I do stock market, finance in my free time as investment for future, I like to know about everything, what's happening in city, world, popular things, talking to people... My parents, grandparents, all relatives never divorced and live happily together. I saved money for future marriage. My mother is 8 years older than my father and they live like perfect couple, so I think age is not important in relationship.. I think most important is safety in life and next to meet nice female, make family, take care and grow child, make child happy. I think woman is most important for man, happy family so I will do everything to make woman happy! Most important for me is love I hope for you too. THIS IS PRIVATE INFORMATION FOR YOUR EYES ONLY

Is he serious? Do you know how long that shit is? That’s like a thousand words. He could have just said, “I’m your perfect man, and I wouldn’t mind if you’re older than me, I would still marry you and give you all my riches.” The end.

But anyway, since he made so much effort, maybe I would too. Let’s see…ah! He’s got light blue, sea colored eyes…OooHhh I’m so all over him now. But he’s got brawn hair. Hmm…I’m not so sure about that. Wow he went to so many universities…that must mean he’s smarter than me. A little too smart. That’s bad. Bad. *shakes head* What, he’s whole family are teachers? Teachers are boring. What else…you know what? Let’s stop here. Mr. my new email, email just for You and Me, I may not know what your are (maybe an email) or some alien race by looking at your weird name, but how old are you? This is one thing I noticed. They can go on and on about how many strands of hair they have on their back but not their age.

Oh and if you asked me why I replied his previous message, you’re so gonna get the fist (after I tell you how stupidly straight you are)

P.S: Really sorry if you really read through the whole thing and your eyes bleed. I don't buy insurance.