I was woken up this morning by an SMS from my boss asking why I didn’t turn up for work yesterday. I was fully alert then – because I slept earlier last night, surprise! – but I couldn’t remember anything about having to work. So I simply replied asking him, “I had work yesterday meh?” He then said he had already told me about it last week. I didn’t believe him and carried on with my day thinking he must have confused things up.
Then I went to work this evening and someone mentioned yesterday’s body fat test. Body-fat-test. Body fat test!!! I was supposed to work yesterday! Oh my fucking god! I wanted to play with the damned body fat machine. I was looking forward to it. What is wrong with me!?
The whole of last week I was telling myself, ‘You have to do blood glucose tests on Saturday and body fat tests on Monday.’ Multiply that by 100. I remembered Saturday but I totally forgot about Monday! Really, it felt as though they were supposed to happen one week ago. I couldn’t believe it was yesterday. Let’s quote a sentence from this Wikipedia page:
“Particularly affected areas may be memory…affected persons may be disoriented in time (not knowing what day of the week, day of the month, month, or even what year it is)…”
Oh no! I have dementia!
You know, the body fat machine can tell you your biological age. I don’t know what I might score from that or how it works (since I farking wasn’t there!) but I can tell you for sure, I’ll score 96 if it was a memory test. Or you know what? The machine might just go up in flames and I’ll make Guinness Book of Records.