I dream of Dim Sum

Actually I dreamt of ice cream last night. Lots of them, with all sorts of flavours you can think of. But I'm not gonna be having ice cream soon though. The last time I had one was the day after the US National Ice Cream Day. Hmm...Why did I dream of it? Is it some kind of a revelation? Eat ice cream or die! Okay... Anyway, back to topic.

I’m going to have dim sum this Friday night! Yay! Can’t wait! And because of that I’m googling for dim sum names. I figured it’s time I learn the names, if I ever think of opening a dim sum shop. Hahah! Yea I know, at first it was a cake and pastry shop, but of course it’s still in my cloud cuckoo land. I’m just greedy. Excessively greedy.

Whenever I go for dim sum I’ll have to point to whatever it is that I want or practice some self-service. This time, I’m gonna practice some showing-off. Bling bling. Yay! I’m gonna read out the names of all my favourites and stun the lady behind the dim sum push-cart. Here I come!

Anyway, this place I’m going to is the only place I know of that sells dim sum at night. The last time I went there, I had Har Gau, which is this (the bottom one):

Picture from Wikipedia. Look at it. The texture, the colour. Don't you just wanna sink your teeth in it?

And I can’t wait to eat it again! It’s got juice flowing out when you bite into it. Of course, any health conscious person would say it’s oil but to me, it’s dim sum juice! Oh my god…the juice…I can’t wait.

Perhaps a Crispy chain reaction now?

I very innocently started a chain reaction of Kit Kat cravings. It went from Rhey to Paolo to…uh…I don’t know who else but when I saw Kit Kat in the supermarket the other day, it reminded me of Rhey. So I bought it! There:

Rhey, I’ll eat it on your behalf. Itadakimasu!

It says International Recipe but I don’t taste the difference. But it wouldn’t be fair for me to say it because the last time I ate Kit Kat was so long ago, I don’t remember how I used to eat it. You break it in two!

I went to the supermarket again today – for some reason my mom didn’t want to stock up food on the day I bought Kit Kat – to get food, of course. Food at home was running really low; I had to survive through this morning just by a packet containing 3 pieces of biscuits. But it was okay, I wasn’t really hungry.

Does that ever happen to you - Not hungry in the morning? It’s so sad. I used to be hungry all the time when I wake up. It’s like a motivation to wake up to a brand new day of food. But after moving here, we’re always low on food, and we have lousy breakfast, and I stop getting hungry in the mornings. It’s so sad. Tsk.

Well anyway, we got a packet of Cadbury 3 in 1 Hot Chocolate Drink. I’ve always wanted it but was too stingy to pay for it, and today I finally convinced my mom to buy :P Dad pays for it anyway. I can’t wait to get hungry tonight so I can have cold chocolate drink! Yay! You’re probably asking why I can’t have it now. The answer is simple. Right now my stomach is having a corrosive acid beach party, digesting away the tomyam mee I just had minutes ago. Ahh…it was bliss.

Of course, besides the cookies and what not, I also got milk. What’s so special about that? Well, this is actually milk with multigrain. That’s what the carton says. I’ve never tried multigrain milk. Have you? It’s short expired so I got two for the price of one. Now I have to finish 2 cartons before 4th August. Good luck. It better not suck.

And finally, I got Crispy for 1 buck! It’s not my favourite but, 1 buck! I can’t remember what else I got. My brains have to concentrate on digesting tomyam mee. It doesn’t matter because they’re all mine! Bwahahahah!

The story of Shit

After food, we poop. So here, I present to you, the pooping story.

Who here cannot poop in a loo other than the one at home? I used to be like that. Once I went to another state to visit my relative for 2 weeks and I had to force it out by sitting in the toilet for 1 hour. And I think I only did that once. Imagine. I did not poop for more than a week. Makes me wonder where all the poop went. But the moment I came back home, my bowel started screaming for the toilet. Amazing isn’t it?

Now my bowel has found another place to call home; the other place I work in (I work in two places), the one with no cockroach trap. I’ve been going there for maybe 6-7 times and I’ve already pooped there twice, and had to hold it in for more than twice, including today. I didn’t want to go because the loo isn’t exactly in a favourable condition. The water from the pipe leaks and I don’t want to come out with soggy shoes. And today, about 3 hours before work ends, Mr. Shit was already screaming let-me-out. I didn’t want to oblige so Mr. Shit called on Mr. Air. I had to hold in Mr. Air too, but he was more persistent. I failed a few times and Mr. Air and co. made their way out and mingled with Mr. Air-We-Breathe. I sure hope my colleague didn’t smell anything funny.

So, who here has Mr. Shit that calls on Mr. Air whenever he wants attention?

Although pooping at home comes naturally, it wasn’t always so. There was this one time when I was in the toilet for 1 hour with Mr. Fat Shit stuck in between reality and fantasy. He was one fickle poop. I don’t ever want that again. The elasticity can only last so long. Ugh. Have I made you happy, joyfulchicken?

At least I now know I can shit elsewhere. Then, who here can shit in places other than at home, but their Mr. Shit is dehydrated? Me!

Home is still the best.

Diligent me

I finally made a bag for my water tumbler! Look!

[photo removed to protect privacy]
Nice isn’t it?

[photo removed to protect privacy] I like saying that last part. 'To protect privacy' Haha! Perhaps I shouldn't have put it up at all. Never mind, it was a short term thing. Yay!
And it can turn inside out to another design, just like another bag I made. I love myself.

And while shopping today I saw this lacey belt – I’m attracted to lace – and guess how much was it? 23.90! Blood suckers! I took a look at it and it was such a piece of cake work. I can make one too in a shorter time than it takes to make a tumbler bag. Hmm…and I think I will make one. Man, if people would buy it from me for 20 bucks, I’d be rich.

Do they need to bark too?

1:30 AM. First laugh of the day.

I was browsing through suga-shikao.net to look for songs in his albums when I came across this in the 'Information' page.



Upon reading the 'Skills', I gave a slight laugh at the drunk point but when I reached 'Favourite type of woman', I tell you, I just couldn't believe it. Is this his kind of joke? Or maybe he's serious. I don't know, he can like whatever type of women, but how would the woman feel if say he tells her he likes her? Should she take it as a compliment or an insult?

Meme: Two of them!

I’ve been tagged by Philos of the Chickenmafia gang. There’s actually two portions to this meme. So he actually owes me two :P

I. ABCs

Instructions: Just change the answers and tag somebody else as per the rules below. Pretty easy, right?

A – Age: Turning 22. Note the word ‘turning’. It’s a hint, you know.

B – Band Listening To Right Now: Mr. Children

C – Career: Probably your parent’s dream job for you.

D – Drink or Smoke: Drink if it’s nice AND free. Smoke? Come on. Do I look like I do fag?

E – Easiest Friends To Talk To: Hmm…I’m thinking someone I can totally open up to. Someone I can tell my deepest, darkest secrets to. Hmm…none. That’s coz I don’t really have a deepest, darkest secret. I only have a dark secret. I think.

F – Funniest Moments: Can’t think of any right now. There’s always something to laugh about everyday.

G – Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: Both taste the same. They just look different. Since in this case only the taste matters, I say both.

H – Have a Girlfriend: Of course. I have plenty.

I – In love: Define love please.

J – Junk Food You Like: I like most junk foods. But ones I always get would be Mr. Potato.

K – Kids: None.

L – Longest Ride Ever: I’ll have to agree with Philos. School. All the way from kindergarten up to now.

M – Hey Philos! You missed M! What’s M?? I’m not supposed to find out myself. I’m amazed nobody noticed. Not even Carney?

N – Names For Your Future Kids: I’m not 5 anymore so I don’t think of getting married and have kids. But say if I really do, it’ll be monosyllable eg: Kai, etc. Monosyllable is cool. I have one too. Shou.

O – One Wish You Have Now: I’ll go for the extreme. Eternal bliss. No, the church cannot grant me that. A valid cheque which I can fill in whatever amount can. So grant me one, meme!

P – Phobias: Cockroaches. Big waves with nowhere for me to run to, like a stupid cliff behind me and nothing else.

Q – Favourite Quote: None that I memorized. Read further and you’ll know why. But I like sarcastic ones.

R – Reasons To Smile: When I’m going to watch my favourite show or when it’s about to start. The last day of exam a.k.a the first day of holidays.

S – Sleeping hours: 2-3 am average.

T – Time You Woke Up: During the holidays? 9:30, 9:45, 10:00, 13:00. When I have no choice but to wake up early? 7:45, 7:55, 8:00, 8:05

U – Unknown Fact About You: I may not want it to be known, so…

V – Vegetable You Hate: I don’t know vegetable names. Seriously.

W – Worst Thing About You: Why would I tell you that? But it’d have to be procrastination. I’m GoP’s right hand, remember? Hmm…I think I’ve already been promoted to GoP, if I’m not wrong.

X – X-Rays You’ve Had: Chest. Or another word for it which I learnt from Philos, pectoral.

Y – Yummy Foods: Cheesy food, chocolaty food, sushi, junk food, in general foods that will block your arteries, give you stroke, and eventually kill you painfully.

Z – Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius.

Another entry for R – Regrets: I have none but now I do. I regretted following you in typing the first letter of the words in capital. Now the little finger of my left hand is sore. Thanks.

II. 7even

Instructions: Each player starts with 7 random habits/facts about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 7 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!

I’ve already done something like this, in fact I added 3 more to the 5 Things You Never Knew About Me meme. Now I regret. Great. Two regrets in one post. The extra 3 could have gone in here. How would I know! Anyway, here’s another 7:

1. In high school, I memorized the World History notes word for word, and almost the entire book. The book and the notes are different things. I loved the book. And I got 99 for the exam. Missed a point. Damn. This is one of the memorizing kung fu I can be proud of and can only reflect upon it and not practice it because I’m too lazy to do memorizations now.

2. I like Mountain Dew. Though I can’t say for sure if I still do because the last time I had it was years ago. But it’s probably still good.

3. People say I have a thing for lace. And they also found out I have a thing for brown things. Either they have good observation or I’m simple.

4. I may not look like it but I love to eat. I don’t eat everything, I’m quite choosy, but I just love to munch. It’s a form of exercise. Oh did you know, I woke up feeling heavy for the rest of the day and later that night before I had supper I found out I was 2 kg heavier. I went ahead with supper. Oh jeez, if I turn fat, will you still love me?

5. Oh, it can be habits as well. Let’s see…habits…my hands love my ears.

6. I like Archaeology, Ancient History, and the like. Some of you may not know this, and I’m pretty sure I’ll soon forget my interests, as I have the previous ones, so I’m putting it here to remind myself. I have a new one: I think I like to write – I always forget that, I think by now you know I’m forgetful – although I can’t write well. Heck.

7. Damn I’m taking too long to think of the seventh. Okay…let’s see…hmm… [10 minutes later] …[after a walk around the house] ... I don't know, guys. I can't think anymore. Mentally exhausted. Gimme a break! Gimme a Kit Kat. (My god, look at the list of Kit Kats!)

Great. Now I have to tag 7 people. I'm mentally exhausted. Didn't I just say that? I'll tag CY. And Thad. I'll let them tag the rest of my five and his won seven. :P I know the rest won't do it. Oh heck. Here's another two. PC and aL. Okay three more... I don't want to be hated! Okay I'll use the reason of anonymity. I cannot tag people. Yay!

Harry Potter is dead!

“…It seems Rowling, intent on being one step ahead of Christian Poterresque writers, sets Harry up to sacrifice his life--out of love for all the muggles, mudbloods and magic folks alike. He is then to be resurrected and will thus spoil Voldemort's afternoon tea.” – Philos, of the Chickenmafia gang

Joyfulchicken of Chickenmafia announced a decree two days ago. In the spirit of link love (as he puts it) you have to tell everyone that Harry Potter is dead, and the cause of his death.

“Harry Potter is dead! Dead dead dead dead dead! Oh, how tragic! Now cry, damn it, cry!” – Joyfulchicken, of the Chickenmafia gang.

So here goes:

After escaping from her cell, Dolores Umbridge, who felt betrayed by her beloved ministry, turned her disappointment for the ministry into love for Voldemort. In order to win the attention of the one-who-can-now-be-named, Dolores went all out to practice the spell Megatronus Primus, a hybridization of the forbidden transforming spell. After succeeding, she immediately transformed into Cho, Harry Potter’s love interest. We shall now refer to her as DoloCho. However, the spell also transformed Cho, turning her into Dolores. Unfortunately for her, the ministry thought she was Dolores Umbright and threw her into the fat lady’s jail cell.

“Harry! Shall we have lunch later?” DoloCho asked as she ran up to Harry.

“Why, sure,” Harry replied in a rather deep, evil voice. “Why, sure,” he said again, correcting his tone.

“Great, then, see ya baby,” DoloCho said as she pretended to be in delight, thinking that was what Cho would say. Of course she thinks everyone is a flirty bitch except herself, which we all know is not true. Well, at least we know she’s a bitch. I’m not so sure if she can ever be successful in flirting. Puke bag please!

The hair all over Harry’s body stood like Hogwarts’ school anthem was playing.

[Later at lunch]

DoloCho switched one of the chopsticks with a wand and placed it on Harry’s bento. She had prepared sushi for him ala Japanese style, although she is not Japanese. Dolores probably didn’t know that.

“Hie, Cho,” Harry called as he walked up casually to their table.

“Sit down, Harry,” DoloCho ordered him.

“Oh, my! Sushi! My favourite! And they all look so yummy! Aw…Cho…you shouldn’t have…not your native country’s food!” Harry gave her a chorus of flatteries. Harry probably didn’t know she wasn’t Japanese too. Or maybe he didn’t know what sushi is. But he did get one thing right, sushi is yummy. ‘Nuff said.

They both should have taken up Asian studies.

“Well, why don’t we start….,” DoloCho paused. Harry was already eating away. “Wow, you’re good with chopsticks, Harry,” she continued.

“Of course I am, my ex was Indian,” he replied, proudly. Indians use chopsticks? Seriously, do some Asian studies.

“Are you trying to test if I can use the chopsticks?” he asked.

DoloCho smiled.

As Harry reached for a Mayo Kani (Mayo crab), DoloCho interjected.

“Do you know what that’s called? It’s Deprimo*.”

Harry took it between the chopsticks and looking at it, he said, “Deprimo? It’s…” KABOOM! Before he could finish his sentence, he was thrown 10 feet into the air and then all the way down he came, landing with a loud thud. A deep hole penetrated his brain through his eyes. DoloCho looked down at him and his handsome face was no longer handsome. He now looked like DoloCho’s big crush. Yes, Voldemort.

With his index finger pointing at her, he said, “You…you…it’s Mayo Kani! Kani neh*!” His hand fell back and as he took his last breath, he said, “I am Voldermort, the one who must not…”

“Eikkkkkkkkkk!!!” DoloCho shrieked! She realized that she had killed her love. No, she had made him kill himself. Why, of all people, why would my beloved Voldemort be so stupid as to fall for my trick!? She thought, and hands over her head, screaming like a mad woman, she disappeared into the woods.

On the other end of the land, Harry was running about in circles, mumbling, trying to figure out a way to make him look himself again. As you know – if you don’t already know, stupid you – Voldermort also used the Megatronus Primus spell, and Harry had transformed to look like him. Unknown to him, DoloCho’s screams had brought about dark clouds across the sky and… ZAP!!! Lightning had struck Harry, and he dropped flat onto the barren field, with a lighting bolt-shaped scar over his forehead, still looking like Voldemort. Harry is dead.

Footnote: *Kanineh is a foul word in Hokkien. EDIT: And it also means "It's crab, isn't it?" in Japanese.

*Deprimo is a spell that causes an explosion to occur where the wand is directed at.

P.S: I want some sushi. For the record, I had the most sushi this year. And this year is not even over yet. Yay!