We all have stuffs

Ants with brains

I believe I’ve found the world’s smartest ants. Don’t know if you’ve seen them before but they’re more fragile than other ants. Press on them and you can reduce them to fossil (well, given time :P).

I left a cheesebread on the table last night and when I touched it this morning, a line of ants started escaping from it. I immediately went to the kitchen and passed it to the maid before the ants could crawl all over me. Just as I was about ready to crush whichever remaining ant on the table, they were all gone. Smart huh? Stupid…erm…normal ants usually linger around or run aimlessly but this subspecies went into hiding and they did it quickly too. It’s like they steal your food while you’re sleeping but once they know you’re awake, they run and hide. Becareful, they could take over the world after we humans nuke ourselves. Oh wait. They're fragile. The cockroaches still rule then.

P.S.: Hah! I think it's one of those ants that eats bananas. Or maybe they were just hiding. Hmm...

Psy...pys...piss...what?

I was looking through my CF card when I found something I had wanted to show you guys since I studied for the psychology paper.

See the name above the words (well, one half words) highlighted in red? Try reading that.

You fold you die

The income tax form came in the mail with a prepaid envelope folded like this:

And you know what’s funny? On it says, ‘Jangan lipat’, which means do not fold.

I now what they mean. I just felt like making them look stupid. Well, they are, aren't they? At least send it to us unfolded, right?

Bed-day

Bed-day. That’s what I lack. I haven’t had a single bed-day for 2 months. And my situation now is implying that I probably won’t have any until 8th of May. When I don’t get adequate bed-days, I get grumpy. I have so mant things to do, typing this blog is a pain. I wish not to do it, but I feel I kinda need to update it for I probably wouldn’t get to for quite some time.

Exam ended yesterday,23rd Arpil, but it felt like it was 2 days ago. I’m tired. I’ve been hanging out with my friends since the last paper until now, 9:51 PM, 24th April. And my butt aches. I feel numb right now – not my butt of course, my butt hurts – but mentally.

I’ve gotta go shop for a shoe tomorrow and to exchange money. USD went up I think. Not like it would matter much, those few cents, but mom is nagging me for not listening to her; to exchange it when it was only 3.11. I’m broke. I need like a thousand. Tsk tsk tsk.

Then on Saturday my aunt’s gonna come over and we’ll most likely go out shopping with her. Sigh. Can I not go?

And Sunday will be luggage day. And at night my long journey starts and it’ll never end until the 7th. My holiday is supposed to be enjoyable. I hope it still is.

Let’s see what I’ve done so far. Went for bowling, 2 movies, a dinner, a supper, a meeting, a lunch, and a wake. A wake. You got that right. my lecturer passes away yesterday. I saw her in the coffin today, and I dare say, I’ve never looked at a corpse at such a close distance before. I didn’t see my grandparents because I was too short that time. This time, looking at her, I don’t know what to feel. She looks empty. Just like a shell. The air felt heavy for a moment. I think I have my ways of viewing death different from you guys but that’s another day’s talk.

I finally remembered why I never played bowling again after my first time. But when I remembered it was already too late. I chipped the nail on my thumb. Not nice.

I watched Escape from Huang Shi. It was good. I finally got over my can’t-cry-in-human-presence syndrome. And I just came back from watching L: Change the World. I have to tell you I was disappointed. L was supposed to awe me with his intelligence but no. L acted as the eccentric stunt man. I know they’re probably trying to show the other side of L, but I want a piece of his intelligence! Sigh. He could speak a few languages fluently though. I like polyglot guys. They’re juicy. But I’d probably like it more if I know more than them hahahah!

Besides discussing non stop in the cinema, my friends cried, watching L. I don’t get it. I hate people who cry over really small things. Or maybe I took it as a small thing because my syndrome is back. When I have that syndrome, my cry threshold is higher.

I’m not even gonna reread what I just wrote. I have to do a banner design and my dad’s income tax tonight. Pray that I get my bed-day ok?

UPDATE: I’m now only posting this entry because I was typing on the sofa just now and I don’t have WiFi. It’s 1:20 AM. Got some problems with the banner. Need a vector logo, not rasterized!!! And I still haven’t started on the confusing income tax form!

UPDATE Update: My flight is Tues morning! Not Monday! This means I leave on Monday night. Everyone has been asking me when I'm leaving and I told them Sunday night. Oh no! I told my friend who went to buy tickets we're flying on Monday! OMG!!! I hope she realizes!

Don't pee in your pants

We can hardly find signs like this in Malaysia. But if you do, don't pee in your pants.








Finally...


...which do you think is the female washroom? I think I'll go with the left.

There are more but I'm too lazy.

Stare and you shall see

There’s this video that I’ve been trying to upload into crunchyroll for the millionth time but still failed. So just now, I decided to stare at the progress bar, millimeter-ing its way, believing that it’ll not stop if I’m looking at it.

This reminds me of one time when I was small, I decided to stare at the clock to see when the minute-hand moves. Its coz every time I turn around the longer hand of the clock would have moved significantly when I look again. I believe I was less than 5 years old that time and already I’m worried about the time. Sigh. Cursed life.

Of course, like the famous ‘saying’ puts it, if you stare too hard, you won’t be able to distinguish a change. That’s not a saying. I made it up. So it was a failed attempt. Plus, as another famous ‘saying’ goes, ‘as boring as watching the hand of a clock’, I wasn’t able to concentrate long enough before my eyes starts to wander and it was at that time when the asshole minute-hand stole a leap.

You might wonder, how’s the upload progress bar going? It stopped. Right before my eyes.

The moral of the story is...

I stumbled upon the folk tales section in the library a few days ago. Up till today, I’ve read 2 books from that shelve, and I find the Canadian Inuit folk tales to be completely weird. Now, a normal story, especially a folk tale would carry a moral lesson in it, or at least a story line or something. But these Copper Eskimos, I don’t know, their stories are simply weird!

Take for example, the story of The Deceitful Raven. It is less than a page long and tells of a story of this bird who told the people of a settlement that visitors are coming and they should make way down the foot of the cliff to meet them. So they set out and when they reached the foot of the cliff, they took shelter there. Seeing this, the raven flew to the top of the cliff and when everyone was asleep he jumped and danced and caused an avalanche, burying everyone beneath it. The raven waited in eager anticipation for spring to come and the snow to disappear because he liked to peck out the eyes of the victims. The end.

Yeeeerrr~ Did you just feel a cold gush of wind? Creepy… All the tales are like that. Either kill someone, or take revenge, or no storyline at all. The Ghost Hunter is an example of one that has no purpose. It started off with this guy fearing ghosts, but he ends up living with them, and then the story changes on to his hunting trips, completely abandoning the idea of ghosts in its theme, and finally he disappeared in a bowl of water. Uh…okayyy…

And then there’s this one, Kidnapped by Wolves, talking about two wolves trying to steal a couple’s baby. The male wolf took of his skin and thus looked like a man. He walked over to the couple working in the fields and invited them to dance. Coincidentally, the couple loved dancing so they agreed. The wolf started singing magic chants and soon the couple was under his spell. Seeing their trance-like state, the female wolf sneaked into their house and ran away with the baby. Soon the couple woke up and chased after the wolves. When they found the wolves’ den, they waited till night fall to kill the wolves. When the wolves were asleep they emerged from their hiding place and ‘let their arrows fly’ killing the wolves instantly. But the female wolf had been holding their baby to her chest so (let me quote) “The arrow that pierced her chest killed the child at the same moment.” And that’s it. The end. Whoa. Award winning story. Perhaps this story does have a moral. Never dance when a wolf invites you to.

I have to say, reading what I’m blabbing here, or reading someone’s blog about what he had for dinner yesterday and the rest of the days before that, would definitely have made more sense. So the moral of the story is, don’t live in an igloo if you don’t want you brain to be frozen.

No burning midnight oils please

Did I say I was going to tell you all about my New Year’s Eve family dinner? Well, I found that my cousin had already posted up the video on YouTube so that entry will have to go in another blog. In SpaceParade, Runawaycat is of course, a cat. If I were to put up that video with me looking like human, although it’s just like 2 seconds of me in it, it would have defeat all purpose.

So instead, Runawaycat will talk about cooking oil here. The nation is in a frenzy to grab all available cooking oil off the shelves. In fact, they already did so days ago. Try going to any supermarket or sundry shop and see if you can find any. The only oils left would be corn oils, lamp oils, baby oils, massage oils, hair oils, Evening Primrose oils; hmm did I miss out any other oil?

I don’t know what’s with this cooking oil thing. One day I woke up to a new year and rumours are going around that prices of oil are gonna sky rocket and supply is running short. And now the news say that each person (or was it each family?) can only buy up to a maximum of 5kg of cooking oil.

My mom is mad because she can’t buy any peanut oil; it has to be peanut coz she wants to make peanut cookies. And I’m excited because this feels like the end of the world. That's how boring my life is. Brace yourselves! Food supply is running short! Woa…wait. Food running short? That’s a scary thought. Imagine no more cheese for the rest of your life. Or no more fast food because health terrorists bombed every fast food chain on the planet. Or no more char siew because Muslim terrorists bombed every pig farm in the world. Oh I’m making another racist slur.

Oh my god! Oh my god! State of panic! I think we should all go grab all cheese, chocolates, burgers, and every other junk food you can think of off the shelves! Go! Go!

Random facts about Runawaycat

1. Runawaycat is not Politically Correct. She is just Correct. Always.

2. Runawaycat was once charged with attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Runawaycat does not "attempt" murder.

3. No matter what your mother always said, Runawaycat can tune a fish.

4. Runawaycat make onions Cry.

5. There is no Control button on Runawaycat's computer. Runawaycat is always in control.

6. Runawaycat visits an active volcano every morning to get some of "the best damn espresso on Earth".

7. Runawaycat's dog is trained to pick up her own poop because Runawaycat will not take shit from anyone.

8. 182,000 Americans die from runawaycat-related accidents every year.

9. Runawaycat eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, she uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which she uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."

10. Runawaycat does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Runawaycat's fists is inside her own body.

11. Runawaycat has to register every part of her body as a separate lethal weapon. Her spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.

12. Runawaycat knows the last digit of pi.

13. The world's fastest car has 7 gears. 5, 6, and Runawaycat.

14. Runawaycat drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

15. Guns don't kill people. Runawaycat kills People.

16. Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take runawaycat to kill you...Fourty seven times.

17. Runawaycat once participated in the running of the bulls. She walked.

18. When you say "no one's perfect", Runawaycat takes this as a personal insult.

19. Mr. T once defeated runawaycat in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, runawaycat invented racism.

20. Runawaycat qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.

I got too excited and did 20 facts. Inspired by Karljam's (CY) post. Random fact generator.
Did you think I thought of all these myself? Hehehehe. Now I'm gonna try Neko-chan.

Random facts about Neko-chan

1. Neko-chan doesn't use pickup lines, she simply says, "Now."

2. Neko-chan will attain statehood in 2009. Her state flower will be the Magnolia.

3. In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a woman, and vanquish evil from the land. That woman is not Neko-chan, because Neko-chan killed that woman.

4. When Neko-chan goes to donate blood, she declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

5. 4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Neko-chan as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.

6. Neko-chan eats eight meals a day. Seven are steak, and the last is the rest of the cow.

7. Neko-chan is not capable of hitting a target on the broad side of a barn. Every time she tries, the whole damn barn falls down.

8. When Neko-chan looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Neko-chan and Neko-chan.

9. Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Neko-chan touches turns up dead.

10. Neko-chan CAN believe it's not butter.

11. Neko-chan sleeps with a night light. Not because Neko-chan is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Neko-chan.

12. Google won't search for Neko-chan because it knows you don't find Neko-chan, she finds you.

13. Neko-chan sleeps with a pillow under her gun.

14. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Neko-chan allows to live.

15. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Neko-chan once swallowed a turtle whole, and when she crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

16. The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Neko-chan.

17. Neko-chan was once on Jeopardy. This show is notable in that it was the first occasion in Jeopardy history that Alex Trebek had appeared without a mustache. And a head.

18. Neko-chan describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts".

19. A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Neko-chan, 3. Cancer

20. Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Neko-chan because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Neko-chan' autobiography.

See, I got carried away again. Better stop. Now I'm all awake. Sheesh.

Around the world

Here’s one of my perverted stories again. Ha ha. It’s not funny. Don’t laugh at me.

You know how shops usually display condoms, lubricants and what not right next to the cashier? In our place, there’s also the ‘ear digger’ (just let me call it that okay, whatever it should have been called).

Just in case you still don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s the long stick-like thing you use to clean your ear. To dig out the earwax is more appropriate. Some people call the action around the world coz it feels good (‘lian say kai’ in Hokkien) Okay nothing to do with your version of ‘around the world’ or why it’s with the condoms. Sheesh! Quiet! Dirty minds! This is a below 18 blog!

One day, a little girl came into the shop and pointed to the ear diggers and asked me what it is. They were placed right next to the red colored lubricant (don’t ask me the taste, I’m not interested) so I thought Ms. Little Girl wanted to eat that.

“That’s not food,” I said.

They’re red and they remind me of strawberry smoothie okay! I like food, so what?

She smiled in an all knowing way and later whispered to her mom and they both laughed. Damn don’t I look like a fool? How would I know you were asking about those ugly ear diggers and not strawberry smoothie? Kids. I don’t understand them.

The reason I dug out this old story was coz the other day I dropped my ear digger and the floor must have ate it coz I can’t freaking find it! My ear needs cleaning! Okay so I need to go around the world. It’s addictive. What do you know? You may not even have seen an ear digger before, let alone clean your ears. Sheesh!