Power Puff Boys

Today I went to the branch office of the country’s main telecommunications provider to make some enquiries. I sat there with my back facing the counters while waiting for my number. Mom was looking at the people behind the counters telling me how slow they are at their work. I sat with my ass facing them for a reason. I don’t want to know how slow they are. It will just make my blood boil. And I definitely didn’t need commentaries fed into my ears either. Tick tock tick tock. My number is still not called. Only one counter is open for enquiries and that 3032 two guys there are taking forever. (I was 3036) I can’t imagine how long they might take to chat up a girl. Maybe they’ll keep on going until she gets old and her breasts sag.

That’s it! I said. I’m gonna…I’m gonna…

Just sit down and wait patiently. Hah! Were you thinking I was going to explode? Did you think that I screamed at the top of my lungs, and took home the drama queen award? Dream on. I did nothing. I’d rather take home the composure award. Patience, my friend. Patience. Did you not learn that in school?

With my butt nicely rooted to the sofa (thank god it’s cushion!) I stared out the door. A woman walks in. The middle-aged guard opens the door. He asks her what she wants. A man walks in. The middle-aged guard opens the door and asks what he wants too. Middle-aged guard finishes his shift and young, bald guard takes over. A woman walks in. Young, bald guard pretends to be blind. And mute. For the rest of his shift, use your imagination.

I continue to observe. A tall man walks in and turns to his friend. He gives the “Hey, how’s it coming?” gesture with his head. His friend flashes him his queue number. Tall Man pats his friend on the back and gives him the “Since we’ll have to wait till the next lifetime, why don’t we go out?” look. They give each other an approving nod and leave. They didn’t exactly leave actually. They simply walked out and stood by the glass door. Both start to smoke a fag. With the cigarette in his mouth, Tall Man starts mumbling to his friend. His friend, who also has a cigarette in his mouth, mumbles back. They both laugh.

Ladies and gentlemen, that was the art of puffing. Do it like the pro. Man, I wanted to say faggots with their faggotry but the definition isn’t right. I might only confuse you up with my own language. But it’s just so fitting don’t you think? Faggots smoking fags doing their faggotry speaking faganese.

CSI: ...morning...*yawn*

Why the heck am I up so early!!!! Thanks to an sms I received now I can’t seem to go back to sleep. Weird. I’m never hyperactive in the mornings. Not at 8:30 at least. Jeez, my friend wakes up that early? What the heck for?! Okay maybe she has to work. Totally acceptable.

Maybe it’s because the sms was about having to change dates for our trip and now I need to talk about it. I need to. I need to. I need to. We all have the obsessive-compulsive side in us. I cannot leave matters hanging in the air with no specific plans/dates/whatever. I love to plan. But not actually carrying it out. I’m still trying to break free from GoP you know. Hah I’m joking. When it comes to play, GoP is non existent.

Alright, alright! This morning’s topic is CSI. I stayed up watching CSI until 3:30 last night, all the more reason to not wake up at 8:30!! Actually I stay up late everynight. Sheesh! Don’t tell! For those who panicked when they found out Grissom was gone, worry not, he’s back, and they killed off Keppler. They literally killed him! Kill the substitute when he’s not needed anymore! Cliché. No? I don’t know. I can’t think. I just feel that way. His death happened last week but I was just too lazy to celebrate it here. It’s still not too late to do that. Cheers to Bruckheimer for making us think he’s turning CSI into another Miami. But it’s only a trick! Phew! Trying to test who’s loyal to CSI, eh?

Last night’s was fantastic. The miniature serial killer is back! We all thought he died but nope, they got the wrong person. That was another Bruckheimer trick. Do you think I’m giving him too much credit? Maybe nothing was ever his idea. They made you think like the miniature killer story is over. The end. Full stop. I was skeptical about it. That episode had a shitty ending. Vegas is not shitty.

The miniature killer series got me on tenterhooks. I wanted to know who the killer was but I don’t want to know. I don’t want it to end yet. Then of course the episode came where this idiot goes out admitting to the crimes and shoots himself. What the…!? That’s where they made you think it’s over. I was like, “But I thought this miniature killer thing is what Season 7 is all about!” And from there it just got shittier one episode after another. Grissom leaves, Keppler comes, and I wish he’s dead. I shouldn’t be so cruel. They killed him in the most shameful manner for a cop. No, they didn’t hang him upside down butt naked. They made him a criminal. I feel for him. I really do. But welcome back, Grissom!

Anyway last night’s was a blast. You should watch it if you haven’t. They fell riiiggght into the killer’s trap. A mockery. A meticulously crafted mockery. I will not spoil it for you by writing about it. Watch it yourself. *sheesh* I’m actually just lazy.

After Vegas I thought I might want to continue with Miami. After all it was only 3 AM. Yup, they changed the time again, making me miss the first half of they-killed-Keppler episode. And so I did continue watching. They still can’t act. Three words. Miami is shit. You know what? I’m not even gonna talk about it.

I shall prevail!

I hope I’m learning my lesson on why I must never procrastinate. No more procrastination! Dilly-dallying is bad. It’s an extremely dangerous chronic condition. And I must fight it. With all my might. I must. It’s like fighting cancer. I’m sure of that. Cancer survivors or patients please spare me from your merciless barrage of words. I trust that you can counter-attack in the most fashionable way possible, so there’s no need to show it to me. I may not know how cancer is like but I suffer from procrastinat-itis. It’s just as bad. Ok that’s a joke. I don’t want cancer just to prove that. I don’t want cancer just to prove anything at all.

God of Procrastination has got me under his thumb! I had a plan to do something, a deadline to meet (today!) and I totally did not follow it through. I’ll always have a reason not to do something that needs to be done. I’m so good at delaying tactics, I find it hard to believe. I actually have a talent! Anybody wanna hire GoP’s right hand? I seriously need a cure from procrastinate-itis! GoP, you win this round! But I’m taking the last laugh.


That’s it. I’m tying a red ribbon around my head just like how Rambo does and I’m going all out to fight this deadly disease. And I shall prevail!

*lifts up machine gun* God of Procrastination, eat this!


And this!

Owh, that’s heavy. I think I might fall if I move another inch.

I think I’ll just launch one of these:


Yes, I’ll initiate the plan in June. Perfect. Just one day away. Brand new month, brand new me. Ok wait, maybe I should see if I can find a red ribbon first. Where is it? I swear I have one. Oh no. Now how can I fight GoP?

I'm blogging...

...because I need to push the previous post lower. I can't accept entering spaceparade and see a face staring right back at me.

From the title you might have thought that I'm being tagged to do some meme. Nope. Reasons for blogging? Been there done that. Not doing it again.

Instead, I'll talk about guys of my generation. One word. Sissy. I know some guys who can't ride a bike for 5 kilometers and would rather have the girls fetch them with cars. Oh come on! My dad is more than half a century old and he can ride a motorbike anywhere! You guys are a mere two decades old. What, you're afraid your balls might get squashed? Or flatten? Flatten is funny! Hahahah! I'm laughing at my own joke. But it's OK coz it's not lame. We don't serve lame stuff here. Oops, wrong personal pronoun. I'm somehow inclined to saying 'we' in cases like this. Maybe it's just me and my split personalities talking.

Ok WE think this is long enough. WE don't have to have a face staring at US when WE open the page now.

That is totally weird. We're just going to stick with 'I' now. Ok bye bye.

Wonderful

I had to wake up before noon today, so it was probably best that I slept earlier than usual last night. Would you believe me if I told you I did?

I didn’t. I stayed up watching TV like I always do, but there was nothing interesting on. So I switched to Celestial, a channel I sorta forgot about, (but still paying for it!) and they were showing Twins Effect. There’s no reason for me to watch the movie again if not for this eye candy:

Yummy!

After watching the movie I thought I should move my ass and do something productive before going to bed. You know, make myself feel a little contented before calling it a day. I went into my room, turned on the lights, only for the lights turn off by itself. The hell…? Did the light tube just blow up? Oh no wait, it’s darker than usual. It’s very, very dark. Then it hit me. It’s an electricity cut-off! I looked out the window and the whole damned area is pitch-black, except for one idiot who was waving his high-powered flashlight at another apartment block 3 miles away. Imagine disco lights. Yea, yea, we know you have a damned flashlight. Some sicko will always do that. Some sicko who’s still awake at 3 am.

Well, there goes my plan for something productive. I only have 25% of battery life left for my laptop and I tell you, she’s one hell of a battery drainer. I’ve decided. My laptop shall be a she. I hope I remember that. Anyhow, I have to do something productive! I need to. So I carried on anyway with what’s left of the battery. And yea, that’s it. End of my story. Electricity returned, I didn’t have to sleep choking my own sweat, and yeah, that’s about it.

Of course I had a great dream, but no, it wasn’t of Edison Chen. I was vacationing with a stranger who was not strange at all in my dream. We were staying in a chalet overlooking a wonderful, wonderful blue sea. It’s really, really blue. It’s bluer than any blue sea, you feel like you want to die in it. And then there’s the wonderful cool breeze too. I lay on the wooden floor and the stranger came up and called me. I opened my eyes and there I see my mom.

“Wake up, it’s already 11:30AM.”

Wonderful.


P.S: Did you know how long it took me to get a decent photo of him? (the guy above just in case you don't remember) Long. I ended up copying one from his friendster account. And it's not those magazine cover type too. Whatever. If I go on, my tipsiness will get a better of me. I opened a bottle of red muscat I bought, which I had forgotten about and mom said she'll drink it with me. Now she says it smells too much like alcohol. :/ Great. Cheer me on while I finish a whole bottle of wine by myself. And this one incidentally can get me tipsy after only a glass.

Late nights...

…make you say stupid things! Oh my god! What got into me last night!? This is embarrassing! What kind of a blush-making, toe-curling thing did I say last night? No, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know.

If I could only blend into the wall right now. You can’t see me, and you didn’t read that. No…. you didn’t…. Trust me.

Deleting it won’t be ethical so I’ll just…I’ll just blog blog blog and it’ll soon be buried in the archives! Yes that’s what I’ll do. Plan initiating now!

Woke up late today. Thanks to staying up all night spewing shit. Work was 9:30AM and I woke up at 9:07. But I made it in time. In fact, I reached there at 9:25AM. Hurray to myself! Now I feel tired, like I’m going to faint anytime soon but I can’t sleep. I need to tell the whole world not to read what I wrote last night. So guys, don’t. I mean it.

On the more serious side, I don’t really feel like shit anymore after doing what I did last night. (Hah! It’s now like a thing to say)

Here’s a screenshot I captured from Honey and Clover sometime ago. It’s always Honey and Clover with me. Heh heh. What to do…It’s my favourite anime. It’s the one anime I can really relate to. You should try watching it.

I guess we will forever be searching for something. Forever be chasing that ‘something’ that we may or may not know of. And we’re doing it everyday whether we realize it or not. Life is but a never-ending search.

Impasse Part II

Continued from Impasse Part 1:

The next morning, we went back to the school and I was officially free. You see, this scholarship has a rule. Once you take it, you must carry on with it, or pay for the entire course fee whether you sat for the entire thing or not. I would have to pay hundreds of thousands. It was a risk I could never take.

So I went back to Form 6, had a great time there – it was one of my best schooling years – and I got out with straight As again. Before that all I had in mind was, get your As, think about the rest later. I got the As I wanted but I still haven’t found my way. I was again, back to where I started. The same thing happened, after some serious talks with my dad, my first choice was again pharmacy. But this time I wasn’t applying for a scholarship. It was just an application to the public uni. I didn’t want to feel like I’m bonded to something. I had engineering as my second choice, although I didn’t feel anything for it as well. My love, that time, was archaeology. But it was something I couldn’t and was not able to take up, for reasons I shall not say here. I had also applied for engineering in NUS (I was a physics student, therefore don’t qualify to apply for pharmacy in Singapore). I got my first choice in NUS and was just waiting for the result of my application to the public uni. That night came, and you guessed right, I got pharmacy. Again. People were congratulating me and everyone was happy, except myself. Of course, this time being 19, I was mature enough to think of others and to take responsibility in assuring I have a good future ahead of me, a good future as defined by the norm. So I took it. A friend said I was meant to do it. It was my fate. Maybe.

Right now I’m two years into the course, and no I don’t have happy stories to tell you. I don’t exactly have sad ones either. I’m just drifting around in my so-called ‘life’. I go by semester after semester, attending classes and day dreaming in it, studying for exams and taking it, and plan great things to do for my holidays only to end up wasting it. And right now I feel like shit. This is what holidays do to you. It’s the time when you sit down and start to reflect on your life. So how far have I gone? Hardly anywhere. I was supposed to do great things this holiday. I was supposed to gain a few skills, learn new things, and surprise somebody about how good I am at doing that something. But I’m still the same old drifter. I’ve gone nowhere.

Now don’t you guys come telling me to be optimistic or stuff like, “go out and do whatever you wanted to do right now!” You and I both know that it’s easier said than done. I would not be sitting here typing this if I had ‘gone out and do whatever I wanted to do’. So I really don’t need to hear that.

The thing going around in my head now is, “How will I be years from now? Will I still drift about? Will I have found my inner self, the Me that I wasn’t sure if I had lost or never knew before? Will I finally be happy, be in peace?” I shudder when I think of it.