I believe I’ve found the world’s smartest ants. Don’t know if you’ve seen them before but they’re more fragile than other ants. Press on them and you can reduce them to fossil (well, given time :P).
I left a cheesebread on the table last night and when I touched it this morning, a line of ants started escaping from it. I immediately went to the kitchen and passed it to the maid before the ants could crawl all over me. Just as I was about ready to crush whichever remaining ant on the table, they were all gone. Smart huh? Stupid…erm…normal ants usually linger around or run aimlessly but this subspecies went into hiding and they did it quickly too. It’s like they steal your food while you’re sleeping but once they know you’re awake, they run and hide. Becareful, they could take over the world after we humans nuke ourselves. Oh wait. They're fragile. The cockroaches still rule then.
P.S.: Hah! I think it's one of those ants that eats bananas. Or maybe they were just hiding. Hmm...
Friday, May 30, 2008
Oishi Sponge Crunch
Nice nice super nice! I can't stop eating! Oishi Sponge Crunch. Mecha mecha oishii desu! They should reward me with more of this for advertising for them :P
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Runawaycat in Singapore
Today’s long journey has come to an end! For now I’m just gonna stick at home until tomorrow afternoon.
In the Penang flight to KL, I saw a group of guys who looked like Vietnamese and it turned out they are! Lapchai! I was wearing a cap with the words Vietnam on it and when he saw it he was like, “Vietnam! Are you Vietnamese?” in super fluent English. Too bad I was already seated in the plane and he had to move to the back, like really, really back. So I ended up talking to the Dubai guy next to me.
And during the flight to Singapore from KL, one Chinese sat a seat away from me. I couldn’t discern whether he was a she or a he so I refrained from talking to him/her. It’s dangerous when the situation is this way. You might get in trouble (Just use your imagination). If only a cute guy was sitting next to me. I could have started a conversation and maybe get myself a tour guide, if he’s from Singapore :P
My first flight was with Air Asia and for the first time I thought I’ve finally found an Air Asia flight with nice stewardesses. How wrong was I. When we reached LCCT, the plane stopped for a while and 2 guys stood up to get their bags. The stewardess asked them to sit. Then later the plane moved and stopped again. This time a couple stood up and walked along the aisle. This totally pissed off the stewardess.
“Please sit down” she said in a teacher-threatening voice.
Then she continued, “Can’t you understand simple English?”
Ho ho ho! Monster stewardess.
From this point onwards I’m gonna share my agony with you. My backpack was almost 10 kg, thanks to the compulsory formal wear (which meant extra pairs of shoes too) that I have to bring. And my laptop bag was, what, 4 kg? I don’t know, it’s just goddamned heavy. It was agonizingly painful to carry. And my boarding gate had to be at the very end. Thank you for inventing the travellator, whoever you are! Though I wish you could have made it faster, like the escalator in the MRT stations. Gawd, it totally reflects the hectic Singaporean lifestyle. And when I reached Singapore it had to be the peak hours and I didn’t even get to sit all through the confusing MRT journey. I can’t help but see the sign “Please offer this seat to someone who needs it more than you” everytime and feel betrayed. Does carrying a 10 kg bag with an almost bent to the max spine, looking like a half-dead fish not count as someone who needs the seat more than all you bastards glued to the seat? When I finally reached my destination, I couldn’t feel my shoulders anymore. I need Yoko Yoko.
And I’m gonna end this now because it’s taxing my shoulders to be typing so much.
In the Penang flight to KL, I saw a group of guys who looked like Vietnamese and it turned out they are! Lapchai! I was wearing a cap with the words Vietnam on it and when he saw it he was like, “Vietnam! Are you Vietnamese?” in super fluent English. Too bad I was already seated in the plane and he had to move to the back, like really, really back. So I ended up talking to the Dubai guy next to me.
And during the flight to Singapore from KL, one Chinese sat a seat away from me. I couldn’t discern whether he was a she or a he so I refrained from talking to him/her. It’s dangerous when the situation is this way. You might get in trouble (Just use your imagination). If only a cute guy was sitting next to me. I could have started a conversation and maybe get myself a tour guide, if he’s from Singapore :P
My first flight was with Air Asia and for the first time I thought I’ve finally found an Air Asia flight with nice stewardesses. How wrong was I. When we reached LCCT, the plane stopped for a while and 2 guys stood up to get their bags. The stewardess asked them to sit. Then later the plane moved and stopped again. This time a couple stood up and walked along the aisle. This totally pissed off the stewardess.
“Please sit down” she said in a teacher-threatening voice.
Then she continued, “Can’t you understand simple English?”
Ho ho ho! Monster stewardess.
From this point onwards I’m gonna share my agony with you. My backpack was almost 10 kg, thanks to the compulsory formal wear (which meant extra pairs of shoes too) that I have to bring. And my laptop bag was, what, 4 kg? I don’t know, it’s just goddamned heavy. It was agonizingly painful to carry. And my boarding gate had to be at the very end. Thank you for inventing the travellator, whoever you are! Though I wish you could have made it faster, like the escalator in the MRT stations. Gawd, it totally reflects the hectic Singaporean lifestyle. And when I reached Singapore it had to be the peak hours and I didn’t even get to sit all through the confusing MRT journey. I can’t help but see the sign “Please offer this seat to someone who needs it more than you” everytime and feel betrayed. Does carrying a 10 kg bag with an almost bent to the max spine, looking like a half-dead fish not count as someone who needs the seat more than all you bastards glued to the seat? When I finally reached my destination, I couldn’t feel my shoulders anymore. I need Yoko Yoko.
And I’m gonna end this now because it’s taxing my shoulders to be typing so much.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Colonel Sanders would be proud
I went out to buy supper just now. I don’t know if it’s the hunger that was making me nauseous or the boredom. I guess it’s both. Anyway I thought McD could do the trick so off I went. Unfortunately it’s Friday night and all the other nauseous people thought they’d flock to McD as well. I couldn’t find a parking space and I can’t risk vomiting in the car so I turned to the less crowded KFC. Expensive and small.
I told the girl I wanted Colonel Burger Combo and she was like, “Colonel burger?”
“Yea, Colonel Burger Combo.”
“Colonel burger? You mean this one? *points to colonel burger image*”
Man I seriously wanted to slap her. Better still, vomit on her. What other Colonel burgers are there? Colonel Ass? Or General Burger? Lieutenant Burger? Sheesh.
Lousy and slow service. Sheesh. I don’t even want to start a racist slur.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Which butt stands taller than Lopez's?
You wanna see my new car? You know what? I’ll even throw in my old car.
See, the thing is, it’s taking longer than I expected for me to get used to the new car. First of all it’s longer than the old car. I thought they were the same coz the look the same, but no. This new car sorta eats up all the parking space. And it’s got a rear as high as Jennifer Lopez’s (lying down on her stomach, can't be too explicit) I think I’m gonna have to get it insured like how she did. I can’t freaking see anything behind me (On the rear mirror. Again, you can’t be too explicit with words). I can only see the sky (Ok that was a little exaggerated).
(None are my actual cars)
Old car
???
I can’t get the specs. The car is so old nobody cared to measure its length back then.
New car
Length: 4.477 m
That’s long isn’t it? According to this site, it's longer than every car it listed there except Toyota Avensis. Is that something like Avanza? Whatever.
Anyway it’s not the length that’s the matter. It’s the butt. I can’t see the big shopping trolley (that some idiot left behind) at my back while I was trying to park the car. Luckily I didn’t take that lot. Yea sure there’s the sensor but I usually park the car following my guts. I hated the sensor. Guess I’ll have to start liking it now.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
I'm a stray cat!
I think I know qualify to be a stray cat. The dates of my training in Singapore has been postponed for 1 week and unfortunately for me I've already booked my flights (Huh flightS? If you're wondering, I have not lost my mind...yet. I have connecting flights okay) Now I have 1 week free in Singapore with nothing to do but most importantly NOWHERE TO STAY. Either I pay a tonne to change my flights or I pay a tonne for accommodation in Singapore...Hmm... which is it?
I've searched hostel/guesthouse sites and the cheapest I can find is SGD 12 per person per night. Now the thing is this hostel lists SGD 12 in one site and SGD 18 in another site. Wth? Make up your mind please. But it wouldn't matter because those prices are for private rooms (? It says dorm but the price says whole room. Shouln't you just pay for the bed in dorms?) and I most probably will have to foot the bill of the rest of the invisible beings that will be occupying the 'empty' beds in the room. That would make it unthinkably expensive. Tsk help.
Anyone know of a cheap hostel that caters for a single person? Anyone free enough to keep a cat? Anyone with an empty house looking for someone to look after it for a month? I'll do it free of charge *blink blink*
I have NO PLACE TO STAY!!!!
EDIT: Not a stray cat anymore :P
I've searched hostel/guesthouse sites and the cheapest I can find is SGD 12 per person per night. Now the thing is this hostel lists SGD 12 in one site and SGD 18 in another site. Wth? Make up your mind please. But it wouldn't matter because those prices are for private rooms (? It says dorm but the price says whole room. Shouln't you just pay for the bed in dorms?) and I most probably will have to foot the bill of the rest of the invisible beings that will be occupying the 'empty' beds in the room. That would make it unthinkably expensive. Tsk help.
Anyone know of a cheap hostel that caters for a single person? Anyone free enough to keep a cat? Anyone with an empty house looking for someone to look after it for a month? I'll do it free of charge *blink blink*
I have NO PLACE TO STAY!!!!
EDIT: Not a stray cat anymore :P
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