spaceparade

Free cable and lessons...in your dreams

2008-12-19T12:10:00.002+08:00

You’re the third person to be hearing this from me; my dreams are so real! It’s like whatever I wanted to do or never had the chance to do in real life, I get to do it in my dreams. Cool, huh? It brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “in your dreams, sucker”. Yes, I’ll do it in my dreams, thank you.

This only happened recently. I was supposed to pass a message to someone but never quite had the chance to, but I got the message through in my dream. And then there was another time I thought, hmm it’s been some time since I asked my friend out and guess what? I asked her out in my dream that very night. There are a bunch others but you don’t want to hear them.

Lately they even come in complete storylines. It’s like a script carefully written for the screens. Really, my dreams have never been so real and interesting before. It’s got the protagonist (usually me, ha ha ha), the climax, the ending, etc. How cool is that?? This is one of the reasons I love to sleep. Who doesn’t? Heh heh.

Man, if they’re real, it’d be dating the likes of Fukuyama Masaharu and Kim Jae Won and living in a mansion (Now, that’s what I call dreaming while you’re awake. These don’t happen in my dreams. They’re pretty down to earth, too bad). Earth calling mars. Come back Runawaycat.

Now, the problem is this. Because I have realistic…Wait, so it’s realistic now? I thought it was supposed to be an interesting TV drama? Fine, so they’re both interesting and realistic. Wow, this could make me big bucks in Hollywood. Ok back to the problem. You see, I can’t tread water like really tread water. What?? I move around when I try to tread water. That’s not really treading water anymore is it? That’s swimming -_-“ It’s probably coz I make significant arm strokes…whatever you call it, at the same time. But that’s swimming! I know that you idiot. If I don’t move my hands I’ll sink like titanic.

So now, the problem is… What? Another problem? I think I can tread water already. Or so I think…It’s pretty clear in my mind that I’ve already learnt it but the thing is, as far as I can’t remember, the last time I entered the pool was like 2 years ago (That’s how much I hate the water. Makes me wonder why I throw a shitload of money to learn scuba diving. Sigh. Youth). I would never remember it so clearly if it happened 2 years ago. So you see, the yin of having realistic dreams is that it’ll mess up your mind. I’m not sure if I learnt it in my dreams (which isn’t really learning) or I can tread water without looking like an idiot now. Which is it??

Only way to find out – jump into the pool! But that’s not likely gonna happen.

500 words just to make a point.
.
.
.
Wait, how do I tread water again? Okay, I’m waking up. It really must have been a dream.

Almost birthday post

2008-12-06T20:26:00.001+08:00

You know there was supposed to be a birthday post. I was looking forward to write one a couple of months ago, about how perfect 2008 was and how enlightening life being 22 years old was.

I was going to tell you about the things I did this year; improved my photoshop skills (though still crappy), subbed the Japanese TV show Tensai! Shimura Doubutsuen (that was tough job so I’ll never do it ~~again~~ anytime soon), finished reading all my japanese study books…wait I’m sure there are more…traveled the most? Yea, yea, probably. What else? Man, I should have made a list.

And I was also supposed to tell you how I bought a cake and ate it whole with a spoon, sitting on my car hood, watching the plane fly by above me. So Taiwanese drama. Ack.

And then the day came. And then there was total silence. I got lazy and spent most of my time on the bed. Right. That was how it all went. Who cares? It’s just another day.

And right now, I want to eat a cake. And I want udon. My two friends actually celebrated for me 2 weeks earlier in a Japanese restaurant. Yummy. I want fattening food. I don’t care, I’m getting donuts this Sunday.

This is starting to sound like a blog which I would never write – a diary.

I got a mail yesterday. As in, in my letter box. The one made of steel, where you can open it with a key. No, not the one where you open with your index finger and a mouse.

It was by dmail2u, whatever that is. I’ve never heard of it. Funny thing is they know my surname, and that I’m a girl (deduced from the fact that they addressed me as Ms.), my birthday and my address. If they were randomly sending out mails they wouldn’t get all these details right, would they? I googled it and still couldn’t comprehend what this is all about. I checked their website which was of no help. Check it out yourself.

Anyway, in this mail was a booklet of adverts with offers valid during your birthday month. I didn’t go through it thoroughly because the offers were like expensive spas, hotel stays, steamboat, etc which pretty much doesn’t suit a cheapskate like me. You know what they should send this kinda stuff to the friends and family of the person with the birthday. Don’t you just agree?

Well, that’s all from my almost came true birthday post. Let 23 be an even better time!

Bugland

2008-11-16T21:41:00.006+08:00

What’s the first thing I hear when I step out of the room in the morning?

“Crunch, crunch, crunch.”

You wouldn’t have guessed. It’s the sound of dead beetles being squashed by my Japanese slippers. It doesn’t get any better when you actually walk out of the hostel into the corridors on the ground floor. There, you see them plastered all over the walls and piles of them on the floor. They actually remind me of the black pickled beans (is that what you call it?) you eat with porridge. And the smell. Oh the smell!

Well, the beetles are more of an annoyance than a danger. Then, what’s danger?

People, let me introduce you to Charlie.

Oh that’s one on my bed. Yay!

See the present they left me on Charlie Eve.

One on my arm.

And one on my thigh.

Oops. It’s dead. That’s my gift back to you. Have fun in hell.

A few days ago there were so many Charlies I could fill a cookie jar if I collected all of them. Every night about 20 of them will die in my hands (Bwahahahaha!). Killing every Charlie I see is not a hobby you know. I’d pray that they stay away from my room every day. But I have to admit. I did think of making a collage of Charlies. Perhaps an attempt born out of desperation? It started as a collage of bugs when I first came to this place. But I got lazy. And when Charlie infested my room, I thought, why not? They’d actually make a nice piece on the wall. Might even sell for a hundred bucks. No?

After that it started raining every night and they disappeared. There’s always one or two, but never 20. That’s when the beetles came. They stink so don’t even bother about beetle collage.

And now, it’s back to sunny days. Charlies are coming out to play. There are Charlie juniors and even mutated Charlies. The mutated ones have big butts and look like they cross bred with big ants.

Oh hullolejah. I’m now a certified entomologist. Had fun with my lecture?

Updateness

2008-11-11T01:46:00.000+08:00

Finally, here’s some updatenes. I figured I shouldn’t abandon this place just like that.

I was walking in the rain again. We waited for like 3 hours earlier but the rain just wouldn’t stop. For some reason the sky loves to take a leak whenever we go out for our dinners. This is already the second time. But this was better though. The first time, the rain was heavier and we were totally soaked and it was 2 am.

I also had the experience of pushing a car. We rented a car and when we got back I switched to the driver’s seat because I wanted to try a manual car. I drive an auto car. The last time I drove a manual car was like 5 years ago. It was exciting and I was circling the school over and over again until when I was doing a three point turn, the engine died. We ran out of gas. Thank god we were in campus grounds. I got out and together with another friend, pushed the car all the way to the hostel. It was midnight.

I have to admit, it was fun. I mean I’ve wanted to walk/run in the rain since I haven’t done it for a longggg time. And to run out of gas and push the car, not everyone gets to do that. Call me weird. It was sweet memory.

So now I have 11 more days here before my exam finishes and I go back to Penang. I don’t really have much to complain really, except for the slow connection, but that too, I’ve got used to. Another thing is bothering me though. There’s this bug we call ‘Charlie’, or the ‘Nike bug’ that’s quite harmful. You don’t get sick or anything but you get a big papule with pus coming out of it if it bites you. The version of Charlie in Penang can cause this just by walking on your skin. No papule, just pus and ugly. But there aren’t many in Penang. You only see them once in a blue moon. They’re everywhere here, especially in my room, on my table, lately. My friend was bitten on her arms and her nose. I’m just waiting for my turn. Can I be left alone? Please?

You know how I was really sad about what I study and how I’ll be bonded to the government for 4 years? It’s amazing how things take its course. Now I have alternatives and life is exciting again. I was thinking, it doesn’t really matter what you do, there will always be new opportunities. So it’s best to follow your heart, even though you are advised against it for ‘practical’ reasons. Even if your dream doesn’t have good prospects, you need not worry. There will always be opportunities, good ones, and you just have to look for it. It’s like treasure hunting. Sometimes I do regret spending 4 years studying this, but hey, it’s not that bad. I’ll just have an extra road to walk on.

There, I’ve cramped everything in one post. I have more to say, but that will be after I turn dreams into reality. Wish me luck and courage.

They love Bush

2008-10-30T04:44:00.001+08:00

so much that they would come up with this

Honestly, whoever did this has got some creativity up his sleeves. Do they get paid? Coz if they do, they'd be rich.

The Glass Castle

2008-09-22T20:40:00.000+08:00

As far as I can remember, I never liked reading memoirs. How can it be any more interesting than a textbook? The only memoir I’ve ever read before The Glass Castle was about our former finance minister (are your eyes falling out of its sockets from reading this?) That’s if it can even be regarded as a memoir. If I didn’t remember wrongly, it was more like his life told from the perspective of a third person. For all I know, I only read it after submitting to the requests of my history teacher.

But I was glad I read The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. The author wrote about her past without an ounce of self-pity. What initially attracted me to this book was that her parents were homeless.

Her dad (other than the drinking and gambling) reminded me of mine, who would sometimes teach me random things kids my age never knew. The journey of reading that book was filled with laughter and tears. Best of all, she could describe it all using simple English unlike some writers who gives you a headache by using bombastic words and sentences of a hundred words long.

I think it’s too soon to make any conclusions, but what the heck, I think memoirs are cool coz they’re about progress and not about the ending like most fictional novels and you don’t really look forward to the final chapter or to finish reading it. What’s more, these are actual happenings, and thus making it even more interesting.

Reading the last page, and then looking back at its title, The Glass Castle, sent a pang of sadness through my soul.

Tutup sepenuhnya

2008-09-19T11:33:00.003+08:00

Wanna know what that means? It means ‘Fully closed’. This was the words I got when I reached the doorstep of the library a while ago. I had purposely set the alarm at 10 am (though I only woke up at 10:30) so I could make it in time to borrow another novel before they close for prayers at noon.

But surprise, surprise! From 18th to 30th September, the library will be opened from 8:30 am to 4:30 pm from Sunday to Thursday and will be FULLY closed on Fridays and Saturdays. And it’ll be fully closed again during the Raya celebration and two days after that. If you’re wondering why it’s open on Sundays and not Fridays, that’s because the week starts on a Sunday here and Friday is their big day. I’m trying my best not to be sarcastic.

So now, HALF closed makes complete sense to me. If they can say things like FULLY closed, half closed should be a regular word for them.

Now I have to make sure I carefully hang on the what quarter of The Glass Castle I have left for the weekend. I don’t know if it’s just my luck with the library. I think I’ll just take it as a morning stroll.

I promised I would tell about the toilet here. From what Malaysians know, Kelantan is a place where different sexes must line up in separate lines, and there are no cinemas, or karaoke, or whatever. Well, they’re partly true. I still haven’t come across any ruling which segregates different sexes. But what I did come across was a unisex toilet!

There’s one in our hostel café. It’s a lone unit with a label ‘Tandas’ on it which means ‘toilet’. When we saw men and women going in and out, we were intrigued. I knew I had to at least go in that Ally McBeal toilet once.

When me and my friend were done, one guy walked in and was shocked to see 2 girls there. He made a 180 degrees turn, paused and made another 180 degrees turn back and into one of the cubicles. When he got out of the toilet he started to investigate its door for labels other than ‘Tandas’. Man, that was funny.

There’s also one unisex toilet on all the floors of the sad two-storey library. However, I suspect it to be staff toilets because they’re squeaky clean. Or maybe it’s because the library is a ghost town. The staff toilets in the departments in the hospital are a disappointment. This shows what kind of staff they hire.

And last night I discovered that this place transforms into a scary world at night. Me and two of my girl friends walked out of the campus for supper and on the way back around midnight, there were motorcycles passing by that would call us out, and one even slowed down beside us. That was freaking scary. After that fella, another car drove up next to us. My friend saw him roll down the window and smiled a mischievous smile. Other cars honked when they passed us. I’ll never go out for supper here with just girls ever again.

There’s nothing positive here to brag about except the intriguing toilet.

Wiieee!~

2008-09-15T19:20:00.003+08:00

I don’t know why the Wi-Fi Alliance would coin the phrase ‘Wireless Fidelity’ irresponsibly because it doesn’t make any sense to me. Maybe you can say it is a wireless connection that remains faithful to you whenever, wherever you go, never letting you down. If that’s the case then I can very well say this medicine campus here has Wii.

Stop! Don’t get too excited! They surely don’t have the Nintendo Wii.

Wii here stands for ‘Wireless Infidelity’ just like how it sometimes is loyal and totally delivers everything (with the approval of the oh-so-loved Fortinet), but most of the time cheats on you and shows you nothing but a blank web browser.

But even after my ‘long’ rant (really, a rant can never be too long or too short… wait…? Forget it), the main purpose of this post has nothing to do with wireless’ infidelity. It’s again, about the good old library.

I was just shoo-ed out of the 2nd floor of the library because it apparently closes at night. *enter lots of exclamation marks here*

Not only is this campus’ library small and has nothing but medical and some fictional books (which is located on the god-damned 2nd floor), half of it closes at night? I’m sorry, did you hear that right, coz I didn’t. I simply grabbed a novel because I didn’t want to leave there empty handed and lucky me, so far, the story is good.

A case of OLCD?

2008-09-08T20:32:00.002+08:00

Geographically, I could get into trouble for putting the following photos on the web. We were assigned to go to a clinic this week. What makes this place worth mentioning is that everything in the office is labeled. Everything!

Take the standing fan and the chair for example.

Sorry for the bad quality. It only reflects the standard of my cheap phone. Geez, the MP3 installed in it just kamikaze-d itself the other day.

Here’s another one which almost made me explode into laughter – a labeled wall clock.

And finally, I don’t think anything can beat this. This is like the jaw-dropper of all things you can ever label.

Even the fluorescent light tube is labeled -_-“

A case of OCLD – obsessive-compulsive-labeling disorder?

P.S.: This post fits perfectly for its 'label'.

And plop it goes down

2008-08-28T22:38:00.006+08:00

Runawaycat has to run away again! Actually this is last week's story but anyway...here's yours truly in her room getting ready to escape.

Hmm...my 80L bag doesn't look that big does it? Maybe I should get a bigger one next time.

And here's my new 'haven'. But I don't have much to complain other than the lousy internet connection.

None of these pictures have anything to do with the title of this post. I was just trying to kill two posts with one :) Understand? Oh by the way, the reflection in the mirror, it's not me. Stop guessing.

If I were to really show you a picture of what the title is all about, I think you wouldn't be able to take it. It'd be so hardcore, you would cry and beg for mercy.

So tell me, what goes plop? Why, that would be shit of course. The toilet in the hostel can't be flushed so each time after you do your business you'll have to wash it down with the hose connected to the tap.

Just so you know, my poop here is almost beautiful. (Let's not go to how beautiful it is, ok? Though I wouldn't mind.) And when you wash it down, it goes all down with a big heavy plop. Exciting, no? Plop. Plop. Fun. You can even estimate the distance it travelled before hitting the other end. I say it's about three quarters of a foot. And the loudness justifies its weight. I didn't think it'd be that heavy.

Now I feel so much better. I couldn't share this with my room mates. They'd probably think I'm a fruitcake. I'm disgusting aren't I? But the plop, nothing else will sound like it.

Marked Down

2008-08-26T19:27:00.004+08:00

After going through a fair amount of procrastination, I have finally come to post this entry in response to Philos’. He was fussing over (Ok maybe he wasn’t. I just wanna make him sound like he is :P) what a bargain he got with Lays potato chips and about discount conspiracies. It was still a bargain though but I don’t really care coz Lays will always be expensive to me and it’s not all that nice anyway.

So I was telling him that I’ve seen prices being marked down before being discounted. I’m starting to sound like a grandma telling stories aren’t I? Anyway, point is, I came across the same situation again.

Here’s the price tag of a shirt I bought for 70% off:

You can see that the price has been marked down before. If you don’t trust the price ticket at the bottom, I have another pic that shows the price ticket hidden underneath the new one:

So yay! Prices aren’t always marked up. In fact, they do get marked down, sometimes. Uh…the end.

OMFG!!!

2008-08-21T10:51:00.003+08:00

OMFG!!! They just grabbed my last piece of entertainment right out of my hands!!! Just like that!!! I was 'happily' (relatively) streaming (extremely slowly) from Crunchyroll last night and today it has been blocked!!!!!!!! OMFGGGGG!!!! What the f*ck is wrong with these people trying to suck every possible life out of you?!?!?!

How you define a lifeless soul

2008-08-20T23:13:00.002+08:00

If you live in a shabby room, it’s still a life. If there’s practically no entertainment and the most hip shopping mall is worse than the worst mall back home, you’ll still survive. But if the internet connection sucks and you cannot visit your favourite webpages because it’s being freaking blocked, then I tell you, you have no life.

Yours truly have no life. All the energy in me has been sucked out when I found out how the connection here sucked. I have no complains about the shabby room, or the relatively undeveloped environment. But you don’t take away one’s internet. No. That’s the next worst thing you could ever do to someone next to taking away their freedom. Heck I’ll even give up on sleeping late and waking at 6 am everyday for a better connection.

Oh just in case you’re wondering what happened to me, I’ve come to Kelantan as part of my uni course.

Let’s list down the things that are slowly eating away my life.
1. The connection sucks big time.

2. Firefox doesn’t work with this connection, god knows why. And now that I’ve gotten used to Firefox, and webpages I visit function better with Firefox, they decide to make my life suck even more by taking it away. Sheesh, even Yahoo Mail can’t load properly with IE, what’s there left to say about Gmail?

3. Megaupload and Mediafire is totally blocked. There goes my Tensai Shimura Doubutsuen and Himitsu no Arashi-chan. I can’t log into IRC. There goes the dramas I download from the IRC servers. My one and only source now is Crunchyroll which streams at a speed 10 times slower than at home.

4. This is practically the only detectable WiFi in this area. No WiFi service outside campus. Geez I don’t even know if there’s one 300 km away. It wouldn’t matter. I have no car now so I can’t possibly carry the laptop around this sad town.

5. Did I say this is a sad town?

6. Things here are more expensive. One would expect things in small towns to be cheaper but nooo…The reason is they don’t produce these things and have to ‘import’ them from neighbouring states? (i.e. Penang? Since it’s cheaper there? :/) I don’t remember Penang producing instant noodles and biscuits and bla bla bla. I thought we produce electronics. Oh well, I suppose I don’t know my home so well. Well of course there are certain things which are cheaper. Bah. Whatever. I can’t have keropok everyday.

Let’s share one interesting story with you. On the way here, we passed a place in another state, I don’t know, maybe it was Grik. The bus stopped there (which sold food at amazingly high prices, higher than KL) for lunch. I went to the paid toilet (which is also more expensive than elsewhere) and saw a notice which says you have to remove your shoes and wear the slippers provided before you go in. Huh???? I’m sorry, come again?! I was not only confused. I was VERY confused. Who goes to a public toilet this way?! And it’s not like it’s a 7 star toilet. I rate it 1 star. Take off my shoes? Not even in you dreams man.

Geometry is disgusting

2008-08-03T01:20:00.000+08:00

One of the few things that I absolutely cannot look at is identical geometrically shaped little things placed in a certain repetitive design. Remember the email which was circulating around since years ago about this woman who had stuff growing out of her breasts after visiting Africa? Yea? Yea, that geometrically shaped holes arranged in a repetitive pattern. Remember? It doesn’t matter if it really happened. I couldn’t sleep or eat without having flashes of those disgusting holes for a whole week.

And now the nightmare is repeating itself. I came across something which matched those criteria – identical geometrically shaped little things arranged in a certain order on the rearlamp of my car. They were yellowish, shiny, and oval-like shaped, about 5 times smaller than a sesame seed, aligned in rows of 4 or 5, I don’t know, I can’t afford to picture it any longer otherwise I would puke all over my laptop. Too bad I didn’t have a camera or my phone with me at that time. But that could be a good thing. I don’t need pictures of it plastered over my blog to remind me of it. No thank you.

They looked like eggs and I bet they were. God knows what’s developing inside. Shit. Now I feel itchy all over. I hate living things with 6 or more legs. It creeps me out. I hate looking at scales too. They’re repetitive. I’m fine with scales on fishes but not if they are scales growing out of a furry animal. Fuuoooaah stop imagining!

I have to crush it. Crush those eggs. Make it messy. Of course not with my fingers. No fucking way. Maybe with a long stick or something. I should imagine myself doing it right now. And break all those geometrical holes in that woman’s breast. Maybe dip a stick into one of those holes and start stirring vigorously until all those holes become one huge hole. Must destroy it. Must.

Shit. There it is again. Flashes of those yellowish stuff. My mind! My mind! AhHhhHHh!!! My mind!!!

Fall Fashion

2008-07-21T19:14:00.003+08:00

No matter how many times I watch this, I would still laugh my head off.

Thanks to Paolo for embedding it here. I can't help but include it in my nice little archive. Ahh...satisfied.

You don't ban a country...a country bans you, no?

2008-07-18T23:09:00.005+08:00

I just found out Veoh has banned Malaysia from accessing its contents...the hell, I can't even access the main page. Yea, yea, I know this is yesterday's news. But I bet none of you that actually read my blog uses Veoh so you don't care right? Yea, I don't care whether you like reading this or not too.

This is what I got from Yahoo answers. I can't even access the freaking Veoh site so how the hell can I get the original announcement and freaking (like reluctantly) link to it?

"Unfortunately Veoh has ended service in your country due to a low concentration of users. Veoh is maintaining service in countries when we have the highest concentration of viewers.

We are sorry for any inconvenience."

"Veoh is maintaining markets when we have the highest concentration of
viewers."

The hell this is the reason.

Sigh. Veoh downloads are like super fast compared to other P2Ps (at least for me it is) and this is heartbreaking! I was still happily downloading in Singapore last month. Oh wait, am I breaking Singapore's rules? Sheesh! You did not hear this.

And if I really wanna use Veoh there are like some proxy methods or something I should use. Huh? What? Poksi? Too much homework.

So no more fast downloads, only fast streaming from Crunchyroll. But for some reason I'm having problems with it right now. It's like stuck. Oh no not them too. Not crunchyroll. NO! Dame! Zettai dame! It'll get better tomorrow. I'm sure it will. Haha. My streaming life depends on it.

My stuff have legs

2008-07-15T20:07:00.001+08:00

Things I own have legs. They have mutated. Just the other day I couldn’t find my newly photocopied notes. I could swear I flipped over all my notes and I still couldn’t find it. I don’t know why but this happens every semester, I’ll somehow manage to misplace my notes. F*ck (I’m polite today, Alzheimer’s can’t be rude, I don’t remember why)

Luckily I did not photocopy another set because it showed up yesterday, nicely tucked in its folder. Anyway, I’ll give it the benefit of doubt – it doesn’t have legs.

The story doesn’t end there however. That set of notes is still there, I think, but my student card has disappeared. Completely vanished into thin air. I think the last I saw it was on Saturday, the day I bought a new wallet. I could swear it was still around when I switched to the new wallet.

I’ve searched everywhere (ok so maybe not everywhere, just everywhere possible) but I still can’t find it. My head hurts. This is not funny. I can’t f*cking find it!

Things don’t disappear. That defies the law of…law of…indestructibility of matter. Molecules don’t just disappear and David Copperfield is a liar. Now where the hell is my student card?

Cool~

2008-07-11T21:11:00.004+08:00

With the Olympics approaching, I guess this is appropriate :)

But people still get into fights, Olympic season or not,

This was actually the first vid I watched and I was pretty confused at first coz the one I watched had really bad quality.

Try to figure out how they did this:

Apparently I'm supposed to link to this site.

Great. Now I can't stop watching.

Gaki no Tsukai

2008-07-09T20:34:00.004+08:00

I used to think that Gaki no Tsukai is just a show about the players having to hold their laughter or get smacked right on the butt. But these links that I'm going to show you (and you are going to click), are just harsh. They can laugh all they want, but I don't think they would want to anymore.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

It's hardcore but it gets funnier and funnier too.
Look out for the -Ass-, -Heipo-, etc :P

What flavour are you?

2008-07-05T17:31:00.000+08:00

You know I’ve got used to the dollar so much so that the price of everything in ringgit seems small here. It makes me wanna buy. I can’t imagine how it would be like if I came back from UK or something.

Anyway that’s not what I wanna say here. Today’s topic is about condoms. Condoms are interesting blogthings though they sometimes get you into trouble in this highly conservative we-encourage-the-spread-of-aids country. Well it won’t be about vibrating condoms today. Today it will be about flavours.

Don’t ask me why or how but we joined a product training and one of the products happened to be Durex. Out of the wide range of Durex condoms, one had flavour. So my innocent guy friend decided to ask a highly sophisticated question in a highly intelligent manner.

“What are the flavours for? Why did they have to incorporate flavours into condoms?” (Imagine Einstein asking Hawking about the big bang)

My girl friend pretended not to hear his question. Now if you don’t know what the flavours are for, you won’t find this funny and (shame on you!).

She repeated his question to us and we felt like bursting into laughter. A guy asking that question! Doesn’t the other guy sitting next to him know the answer?

Apparently not. Thirsty (or rather, hungry) to know why, that friend of mine (oh where should I hide my face?) raised his hands during the Q&A session.

“What are the flavours in the condoms for?”

*FAINT!!!*

Of course he got his answer in a highly professional manner. No bursts of laughter. Boring.

What I find unbelievable is when we told others about this nobody laughed. Instead we got questions like, “So what are the flavours for?” and “I thought it was so it wouldn’t smell?” -_-“ Citizens of a conservative country indeed. Now, when I meet my high school friends and if they don’t laugh, I’m gonna bang my head against the wall. So please, for my loving head’s sake, laugh.

Where the hell is my welcome home drink!?

2008-07-04T20:23:00.001+08:00

I’m back!!! The monster is back! (For some reason I feel like calling myself the monster today. Like what I would always advise my readers, it’s best to ignore me). Anyway, as much as you may think I’m delighted to be back, from my outrageous opening of this entry (add the Godzilla moves), I’m not. After 2 weeks in Singapore I was crying to go home because of boredom but now that I’ve adjusted to the MRTs and the crazy queues, I don’t want to come back! Going home means going back to piles and piles of uninteresting letters, bills, classes, assignments, long to-do lists, yada yada yada. And they’ve already started to haunt me, only hours after I reached the island. To save you from the misery, I shall keep them all to myself. What a nice monster.

Anyhow, I’m just writing to tell you guys I’m still very well alive even though I somehow had forgotten I have a blog. Sorry for not updating this place and the other one. I’ve a list of things to blog about and I hate lists so God help me do this before I leave the island again! Yes, it has been confirmed, I’ll be going to another state next month to finish up my semester. As much as I love to travel, having to adjust to new environments every month is starting to make me feel sick.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I’d accomplish some of the blogthings in my list tomorrow. I’m sure I will. Pretty sure…

Lactose Intolerance?

2008-06-11T12:39:00.003+08:00

What would you get if you are lactose intolerant but drink milk?

- A lactating anus?

That’s probably it huh? If you can’t digest the milk surely in comes out intact right? Well, something like that. Main thing is you expect liquid. (I hate being quoted by people for giving false info. Especially when it comes to poo issue. You can’t possibly be too serious. Sheesh. This is a blog, hello. Not an encyclopedia. Get a grip.)

I personally never had any lactose intolerant problems but now I’m wondering, can I ever develop one? Some of you may already know from my previous poo entries (here and here if you're interested, but I must warn you, it's not for the faint-hearted), I can’t ‘go’ unless it’s in my home sweet toilet. Seems like I’ve gotten over it already (so yay for me) coz in the past 2 months, I’ve basically poo-ed in a boat in Vietnam, and also in the air 30000 ft above sea level, and of course multiple times in Singapore. But could my bowels have thought of the evil idea of getting over lactase enzymes as well?

Why, oh why am I getting this sort of idea?? That’s coz for the past 2 weeks, whenever I drink milk I get a nature call minutes later. And today, I’ve gone to the loo 3 times in the past 3 hours. Oh please no. Imagine the food I’ll have to miss out if I become lactose intolerant. Cakes, cheese, chocolate…owwww…who looks at the package to see how much lactose they contain?? You just eat dammit.

Interested in our tourims?

2008-06-07T14:48:00.004+08:00

It's everywhere; their inability to either spell, or type, or detect mistakes.

I ought to start a new category for Yahoo's mistakes.

Slog

2008-06-05T23:40:00.007+08:00

Ok what’s a slog? Joyfulchicken was the one to come up with this word. Slog is a snack blog but the word gives me the impression of laziness. So you see, I’m going to do a slog today and then feel lazy about doing it and not do it again for a very, very, long time.

Now, you would most probably think that this entry will be all about food but let me tell you something. You’ll see food alright, but it’s food I can’t touch.

This is all I have to last me one month courtesy of my cousin. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Because my wallet definitely can’t buy me all these snacks. Honestly I’ve never been in such a sad condition in my life. Of course I’ve been broke before but I’ll just need to stay home till my wallet is replenished regardless how long it may be. But right now I don’t think I have enough money to last me till the end of the month here.

So right now what I do everyday is scout for the cheapest food I can find. I’ve plunged to that low a level in life. Hahahah. I look at all the other delicious food (they look delicious but remember you can’t always judge a book by its cover, same goes for food) but I can never eat them. I’ve betrayed the food club I belong to. I’ve sinned. Forgive me!

Now I have to make sure my snacks last till the end of the month. I get hungry easily and snacks are an essential part of my life. If I’m at home now, these snacks would have been finished in two weeks. Thanks to my mom too for telling my cuz that I love snacks *teary eyed*

We were so poor when we wanted to buy bathroom slippers we walked around Toa Payoh until we found the cheapest that we could possibly find.

Tweety slippers for S$ 2. Back home, I would never buy Tweety. Ok maybe.

So this is how poor students are like. I wanna go home! Tsk. Anyway, this is one experience money (definitely) cannot buy. I'm gonna tell my niece years later like how my uncle told me his flipping burgers story in UK. Yay. But it's less glamorous though. Tsk.

Just so that this is still a slog, let me share with you another snack that I found good.

Oheya by Oishi. I think I’m starting to be a fan of Oishi.

And here you have barley drink in a can. Never seen barley in a can before in my entire life. Exaggerating huh? It’s true.

There you have it, my slog.

We all have stuffs

2008-06-04T20:57:00.000+08:00

Ants with brains

2008-05-30T22:47:00.003+08:00

I believe I’ve found the world’s smartest ants. Don’t know if you’ve seen them before but they’re more fragile than other ants. Press on them and you can reduce them to fossil (well, given time :P).

I left a cheesebread on the table last night and when I touched it this morning, a line of ants started escaping from it. I immediately went to the kitchen and passed it to the maid before the ants could crawl all over me. Just as I was about ready to crush whichever remaining ant on the table, they were all gone. Smart huh? Stupid…erm…normal ants usually linger around or run aimlessly but this subspecies went into hiding and they did it quickly too. It’s like they steal your food while you’re sleeping but once they know you’re awake, they run and hide. Becareful, they could take over the world after we humans nuke ourselves. Oh wait. They're fragile. The cockroaches still rule then.

P.S.: Hah! I think it's one of those ants that eats bananas. Or maybe they were just hiding. Hmm...

Oishi Sponge Crunch

2008-05-30T01:04:00.002+08:00

Nice nice super nice! I can't stop eating! Oishi Sponge Crunch. Mecha mecha oishii desu! They should reward me with more of this for advertising for them :P

Afther I learn how to spell...

2008-05-30T00:47:00.004+08:00

Runawaycat in Singapore

2008-05-27T00:02:00.002+08:00

Today’s long journey has come to an end! For now I’m just gonna stick at home until tomorrow afternoon.

In the Penang flight to KL, I saw a group of guys who looked like Vietnamese and it turned out they are! Lapchai! I was wearing a cap with the words Vietnam on it and when he saw it he was like, “Vietnam! Are you Vietnamese?” in super fluent English. Too bad I was already seated in the plane and he had to move to the back, like really, really back. So I ended up talking to the Dubai guy next to me.

And during the flight to Singapore from KL, one Chinese sat a seat away from me. I couldn’t discern whether he was a she or a he so I refrained from talking to him/her. It’s dangerous when the situation is this way. You might get in trouble (Just use your imagination). If only a cute guy was sitting next to me. I could have started a conversation and maybe get myself a tour guide, if he’s from Singapore :P

My first flight was with Air Asia and for the first time I thought I’ve finally found an Air Asia flight with nice stewardesses. How wrong was I. When we reached LCCT, the plane stopped for a while and 2 guys stood up to get their bags. The stewardess asked them to sit. Then later the plane moved and stopped again. This time a couple stood up and walked along the aisle. This totally pissed off the stewardess.

“Please sit down” she said in a teacher-threatening voice.
Then she continued, “Can’t you understand simple English?”

Ho ho ho! Monster stewardess.

From this point onwards I’m gonna share my agony with you. My backpack was almost 10 kg, thanks to the compulsory formal wear (which meant extra pairs of shoes too) that I have to bring. And my laptop bag was, what, 4 kg? I don’t know, it’s just goddamned heavy. It was agonizingly painful to carry. And my boarding gate had to be at the very end. Thank you for inventing the travellator, whoever you are! Though I wish you could have made it faster, like the escalator in the MRT stations. Gawd, it totally reflects the hectic Singaporean lifestyle. And when I reached Singapore it had to be the peak hours and I didn’t even get to sit all through the confusing MRT journey. I can’t help but see the sign “Please offer this seat to someone who needs it more than you” everytime and feel betrayed. Does carrying a 10 kg bag with an almost bent to the max spine, looking like a half-dead fish not count as someone who needs the seat more than all you bastards glued to the seat? When I finally reached my destination, I couldn’t feel my shoulders anymore. I need Yoko Yoko.

And I’m gonna end this now because it’s taxing my shoulders to be typing so much.

Colonel Sanders would be proud

2008-05-24T01:37:00.001+08:00

I went out to buy supper just now. I don’t know if it’s the hunger that was making me nauseous or the boredom. I guess it’s both. Anyway I thought McD could do the trick so off I went. Unfortunately it’s Friday night and all the other nauseous people thought they’d flock to McD as well. I couldn’t find a parking space and I can’t risk vomiting in the car so I turned to the less crowded KFC. Expensive and small.

I told the girl I wanted Colonel Burger Combo and she was like, “Colonel burger?”

“Yea, Colonel Burger Combo.”

“Colonel burger? You mean this one? *points to colonel burger image*”

Man I seriously wanted to slap her. Better still, vomit on her. What other Colonel burgers are there? Colonel Ass? Or General Burger? Lieutenant Burger? Sheesh.

Lousy and slow service. Sheesh. I don’t even want to start a racist slur.

Which butt stands taller than Lopez's?

2008-05-22T12:14:00.006+08:00

You wanna see my new car? You know what? I’ll even throw in my old car.

See, the thing is, it’s taking longer than I expected for me to get used to the new car. First of all it’s longer than the old car. I thought they were the same coz the look the same, but no. This new car sorta eats up all the parking space. And it’s got a rear as high as Jennifer Lopez’s (lying down on her stomach, can't be too explicit) I think I’m gonna have to get it insured like how she did. I can’t freaking see anything behind me (On the rear mirror. Again, you can’t be too explicit with words). I can only see the sky (Ok that was a little exaggerated).

(None are my actual cars)

Old car

???

I can’t get the specs. The car is so old nobody cared to measure its length back then.

New car

Length: 4.477 m

That’s long isn’t it? According to this site, it's longer than every car it listed there except Toyota Avensis. Is that something like Avanza? Whatever.

Anyway it’s not the length that’s the matter. It’s the butt. I can’t see the big shopping trolley (that some idiot left behind) at my back while I was trying to park the car. Luckily I didn’t take that lot. Yea sure there’s the sensor but I usually park the car following my guts. I hated the sensor. Guess I’ll have to start liking it now.

I'm a stray cat!

2008-05-21T18:09:00.005+08:00

I think I know qualify to be a stray cat. The dates of my training in Singapore has been postponed for 1 week and unfortunately for me I've already booked my flights (Huh flightS? If you're wondering, I have not lost my mind...yet. I have connecting flights okay) Now I have 1 week free in Singapore with nothing to do but most importantly NOWHERE TO STAY. Either I pay a tonne to change my flights or I pay a tonne for accommodation in Singapore...Hmm... which is it?

I've searched hostel/guesthouse sites and the cheapest I can find is SGD 12 per person per night. Now the thing is this hostel lists SGD 12 in one site and SGD 18 in another site. Wth? Make up your mind please. But it wouldn't matter because those prices are for private rooms (? It says dorm but the price says whole room. Shouln't you just pay for the bed in dorms?) and I most probably will have to foot the bill of the rest of the invisible beings that will be occupying the 'empty' beds in the room. That would make it unthinkably expensive. Tsk help.

Anyone know of a cheap hostel that caters for a single person? Anyone free enough to keep a cat? Anyone with an empty house looking for someone to look after it for a month? I'll do it free of charge *blink blink*

I have NO PLACE TO STAY!!!!

EDIT: Not a stray cat anymore :P

Wallpaper done!

2008-05-21T01:24:00.003+08:00

My 'abandoned' project is finally done. Looks crowded don't you think? Really crowded...You probably know none of them. No Jpop/rock fan reads my blog.

Camp of a lifetime

2008-05-18T23:55:00.000+08:00

I’m back home again after 4 and a half days in Kedah, which is a neighbouring state to Penang. I was there for a school project and we were assigned to stay with families in the area where our project took place, i.e. homestay. The whole program was like attending an army camp yet an anorexic treatment camp at the same time.

It felt like an army camp because our project leader has anger management problem; imagine those generals you see on TV, or your school’s discipline teacher. It was an anorexic camp because our ‘foster parents’ kept feeding us food; not that it’s a bad thing, considering my financial status, but that gained me 1 kg. Some participants had to go out and buy themselves food, whereas I came back home with my packets of security instant mee untouched.

Honestly, for the past 4 days, I sorta hated food. Or should I say I sorta hated lunch, tea, and dinner times. Breakfast was ok because I’d be hungry after a long night’s sleep (long in terms our stomach hours). On the first day I had 2 lunches in 1 hour. Imagine that. When we arrived we ate the lunch that was provided and when we arrived at our foster parent’s home, we had a second lunch. We told them we already had lunch but apparently we were ignored. It’d be rude to not eat so we had to swallow everything down no matter what. Before we even had time to digest our lunches, it was time for tea. Oh the horror. Don’t you call this a camp for anorexics? But, but, but…I still have to say this, thank you for not making me buy my own meals!

The family was nice to us and the auntie even gave us a big ang pau this morning… it’s all about the money hahahah. (I just came back today and I’m tired yet here I am. See how dedicated I am to the what little concerned readers I have :P I deserve a treat, don’t you think?)

As for the army camp, I would have written a 10 page blog 2 days ago if I had access to the computer but I think I’m just gonna forget it now. Too much anger isn’t gonna do me any good, though if you’re interested I’d be glad to tell you, if I still remember, that is. Now I’m just happy it’s over.

So I have another one week before I start packing my bags again. Sigh. I’ve been leading a one-week-stay-home-interval lifestyle for a month now. One week after my finals I went to Vietnam, one week after I came back from there I went to Kedah. Now one week after this I’ll be going to Singapore. And one week after that the new semester would start. I guess this is the busy traveling lifestyle I dreamt of? Not so fun considering I have things to do at home and my fragile paper pocket that’s going to tear anytime soon. I think I’m gonna have to skip the end year holiday. Tsk.

What? Packing bags again?

2008-05-13T00:41:00.000+08:00

Did you realize that most of the entries on this page are about my packing bags, leaving the house, going another place, yada yada yada? Well, I’m going to be doing it again, this time for ‘work’ which I’d much rather not have to go. I won’t be updating again for until the end of this week so the rest of the Vietnam entries will have to wait till next week.

Just a little something to divert from this monotonous bag packing entries: I bade goodbye to my car today. Tsk. My new car (well, my dad’s new car) arrived today and I enchanged my old car keys with my new one. Tsk. Bye my old car, my first car. You’ll be missed.

Hiatus again perhaps?

2008-05-10T16:51:00.002+08:00

My head is in a mess. I don't know why. Maybe it's coz I was in Hanoi for too long, I got used to not having to think about anything besides what to eat and where to go. Now that I'm back, the air feels stagnant. Stale. It's back to procrastination.

I have to think of work to do. Money to earn. Right now I've got no cash flowing in. This gives me a headache. Goddammit I wish I'm still on holiday.

On Hanoi

2008-05-10T01:00:00.002+08:00

I've started to write on my trip. Check it out from the yakuza blog. You can find the link on the right column. It's there for a reason you know. Click! Click! Click!

I hope I can finish writing all 9 days before I leave the state next Wednesday. This is going to be a busy 'holidays' for me.

I'm back!

2008-05-08T19:10:00.002+08:00

I can finally feel my computer again haha. Vietnam was fun and I wish I was there longer. Coming back home wasn't really what I looked forward to. Coming back here meant coming back to reality. Now that I think of it, the time spent there was quite surreal. I had totally forgotten all my problems (including that stupid broadband of mine!) and it was like I was totally disconnected from everything at home.

I hope I'll be blogging about it soon. Still lazy right now. I wish I could use jet lag as an excuse but it was only an hour difference between here and Vietnam. Well, see ya soon? *snore*

Live from Hanoi

2008-04-29T23:30:00.003+08:00

...and uh, Hanoi is in Vietnam. A number of people have asked me, so I guess it's best I explain before proceeding.

This will not be much of a blog anyway coz I don't really have that kind of time. The first entry of this trip will be a long one coz some drama took place so it's best to sit down and devote all my time to write a proper entry, right?

So we'll meet again about 2 weeks from now. I hope I still remember whatever happened today after I come back :)

Ciao~

Psy...pys...piss...what?

2008-04-28T12:20:00.002+08:00

I was looking through my CF card when I found something I had wanted to show you guys since I studied for the psychology paper.

See the name above the words (well, one half words) highlighted in red? Try reading that.

You fold you die

2008-04-28T12:16:00.003+08:00

The income tax form came in the mail with a prepaid envelope folded like this:

And you know what’s funny? On it says, ‘Jangan lipat’, which means do not fold.

I now what they mean. I just felt like making them look stupid. Well, they are, aren't they? At least send it to us unfolded, right?

All Stars wallpaper

2008-04-27T02:10:00.004+08:00

For the past 2 hours, this is what I've been doing:

It's not done yet, but my back's killing me already. So far I have Hyde, Suga Shikao, Hirai Ken and Mr. Children.

I've been wanting to do this for a month now and finally I'm half done! My mom thinks I should pack my bag instead of doing this :P

Mom: Is this your school project?
Me: No. This is for fun.
Mom: What? Go pack your bag!
Me: It's 2 days away!

I'm yabbering. Actually I just wanna show off my 2 hours of photoshop-ing. Hehe. Anyway, how is it? The shadows on the floor aren't so nice I think. But I'm too lazy to start over.

Bed-day

2008-04-25T01:20:00.002+08:00

Bed-day. That’s what I lack. I haven’t had a single bed-day for 2 months. And my situation now is implying that I probably won’t have any until 8th of May. When I don’t get adequate bed-days, I get grumpy. I have so mant things to do, typing this blog is a pain. I wish not to do it, but I feel I kinda need to update it for I probably wouldn’t get to for quite some time.

Exam ended yesterday,23rd Arpil, but it felt like it was 2 days ago. I’m tired. I’ve been hanging out with my friends since the last paper until now, 9:51 PM, 24th April. And my butt aches. I feel numb right now – not my butt of course, my butt hurts – but mentally.

I’ve gotta go shop for a shoe tomorrow and to exchange money. USD went up I think. Not like it would matter much, those few cents, but mom is nagging me for not listening to her; to exchange it when it was only 3.11. I’m broke. I need like a thousand. Tsk tsk tsk.

Then on Saturday my aunt’s gonna come over and we’ll most likely go out shopping with her. Sigh. Can I not go?

And Sunday will be luggage day. And at night my long journey starts and it’ll never end until the 7th. My holiday is supposed to be enjoyable. I hope it still is.

Let’s see what I’ve done so far. Went for bowling, 2 movies, a dinner, a supper, a meeting, a lunch, and a wake. A wake. You got that right. my lecturer passes away yesterday. I saw her in the coffin today, and I dare say, I’ve never looked at a corpse at such a close distance before. I didn’t see my grandparents because I was too short that time. This time, looking at her, I don’t know what to feel. She looks empty. Just like a shell. The air felt heavy for a moment. I think I have my ways of viewing death different from you guys but that’s another day’s talk.

I finally remembered why I never played bowling again after my first time. But when I remembered it was already too late. I chipped the nail on my thumb. Not nice.

I watched Escape from Huang Shi. It was good. I finally got over my can’t-cry-in-human-presence syndrome. And I just came back from watching L: Change the World. I have to tell you I was disappointed. L was supposed to awe me with his intelligence but no. L acted as the eccentric stunt man. I know they’re probably trying to show the other side of L, but I want a piece of his intelligence! Sigh. He could speak a few languages fluently though. I like polyglot guys. They’re juicy. But I’d probably like it more if I know more than them hahahah!

Besides discussing non stop in the cinema, my friends cried, watching L. I don’t get it. I hate people who cry over really small things. Or maybe I took it as a small thing because my syndrome is back. When I have that syndrome, my cry threshold is higher.

I’m not even gonna reread what I just wrote. I have to do a banner design and my dad’s income tax tonight. Pray that I get my bed-day ok?

UPDATE: I’m now only posting this entry because I was typing on the sofa just now and I don’t have WiFi. It’s 1:20 AM. Got some problems with the banner. Need a vector logo, not rasterized!!! And I still haven’t started on the confusing income tax form!

UPDATE Update: My flight is Tues morning! Not Monday! This means I leave on Monday night. Everyone has been asking me when I'm leaving and I told them Sunday night. Oh no! I told my friend who went to buy tickets we're flying on Monday! OMG!!! I hope she realizes!

Mahther farking people

2008-04-18T13:29:00.001+08:00

I’m living in a fucking fucked up country where killing in broad daylight is totally legal. Two (or three) dogs were shot here today by government officials because somebody made a fucking report. Somebody with the following characteristics: surname – Mah, personality – Conservative, thinking - Narrow. When this three comes together, you get a fucking bastard.

This explains the tree branch covering a big stain on the road when I came back. They were not able to clean away the stain. I think one of the dogs which I happen to like was shot too. She was such a sweet dog. When the van which sells food comes in the morning she would patiently wait a distant from it for the seller to throw her some food. Unlike some uncivilized people, she doesn’t push and elbow. Fuckkkkkk!

I wasn’t around when they came and did their holy act but I was told that four shots were fired and the dogs were killed right on the spot, on the road in front of our unit. This has happened before in my old house too; the dog ran and hid in the drain and they just shot him, right in the drain and fucking in front of my gate. Of course that time it wasn’t a Mah that reported. It was a just a bastard with a fucking attitude.

Everyone knows who reported; we don’t know exactly which individual did it but the first criteria of the three would most probably fit that bastard.

The dogs did nothing wrong; they did not bite, they did not bark. If the chief complain was them dragging rubbish everywhere, then can I complain to the government that some uncivilized people had thrown the rubbish carelessly on the ground and have them shot? If they’re dead, there wouldn’t be accessible rubbish for the dogs to rummage in. The dumpster is so big and spacious (and smells really nice too), so why can’t they throw it in instead of leaving it AROUND it? What’s the fucking point of having a container to contain rubbish if you’re just gonna line it up around its circumference? And can I add a fourth point? – they’re also uncivilized. Let’s do a little Grade 1 logic.

Mahs = uncivilised
Uncivilized = litter everywhere
Therefore, Mahs = litter everywhere
Shoot them!

I don’t know why these type of Mahs hate dogs so much. Note: ‘type’. I’m not generalizing. Fucking assholes in their fucking country. They make this place so warm and fuzzy, uncivilized aliens are coming into the country in droves. It’s so nice and comfy it hurts so much that I need to leave. Fuck you Mahs. Hope you rot in the hell you created for yourselves. I’m a racist. So shoot me.

I guess we are stupid after all

2008-04-11T13:40:00.005+08:00

In response to the first entry 'Are we stupid?' and also to prove a fellow commenter's point:

(Lousy Yahoo that doesn't allow embedding. Stupid too)

I shouldn't think too much about the face I saw in that video. He does look like a nice but desperate person. Tsk. A stupid, straight person would surely be better than a sly, cunning one no?

Spill out, damn it!

2008-04-11T13:26:00.000+08:00

We all have funny ways of trying to recall things. Some people stare at the ceiling. Some close their eyes. Some grit their teeth. Some jump around like mad. And then there’s also another way which is quite common…

Today in the exam hall, the guy who sat next to me drove me nuts! He was trying to recall the answers to the questions and when he couldn’t (I know because I’m smart :P) he started stomping his feet on the floor. And it’s not just any floor, it’s a floor made of wooden planks where it would send gigantic vibration waves across the room even if you were to just walk on it.

And he did that for 2 hours! As if stomping your feet can make the information spill out of your head. My god, I really wanted to smash his head to pieces. I gave him my vicious stare twice but did he notice? NO! He was to busy trying to put a hole through the floor!

Are we stupid?

2008-04-09T12:51:00.003+08:00

Know who is Lim Goh Tong? No? Ok how bout the founder of Genting, one of the richest guy in Asia? Still no? I guess I have to call in Wikipedia.

Anyway the point of this entry is there are people out there who actually has so much time on their hands, they would create nonsensical emails to be forwarded to everyone.

This is one I got which says that this is the grave of Malaysia's late Tan Sri Lim Goh Tong.

Oh really?? How come none of the people there look like Malaysians? Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't it obvious this is NOT his grave? (But there's always the possibility he made one exactly the same, but I doubt that). If you google 0sss0.com, it is actually a site full of arabic words which I understand none of. Hmm that would really explain why EVERYONE in the picture looks like the middle easterns!

Idiot with too much time on their hands.

Soap Land

2008-04-06T23:41:00.003+08:00

After watching Love & Pop yesterday, I scrolled down to the comments section. Someone posted a comment in response to the action of the pervert in the movie who used the hand of a girl he paid to work his tool.

If you're wondering, this movie is about high school girls engaging in enjo kosai or compensated dating. The movie was filmed on hand-held digital cameras, which I thought would make it lousy with the shakings and stuff but it turned out okay. And it's got unusual camera works which makes it unique.

So anyway, in the movie this guy who paid this girl to accompany him to the video store grabbed her hand and shoved it in his pants. One person commented, "That hand-rapist shoulda gone to Soap Land or something..."

Funny!!! So funny I almost choked drinking water. I don't know why I find it so funny, but it's like the high point of reading comments haha. I don't understand 100% what he or she is trying to say but there's just this sarcastic tone to it. Neat. I like sarcasm.

Words of the week: Soap Land

The Wait II

2008-04-06T00:06:00.003+08:00

Not only do I have to wait in reality, I even had to wait in my dream. After telling you guys about ‘the wait’ I dreamt that I was at the airport and had to wait 30 days for my flight. The wait was so long (super obvious!) the airport provided a hotel room for me. Now normally if your flight is 30 days away, you stay at home. But it’s completely normal to wait for a month in the airport in my dream. I had a hotel mate but he only had to wait 15 days so I took the calendar and started to plan who I should find for my other lonely 15 days. And uh, that’s about it.

Now back to reality. Remember the place that I called a million times? I don’t know exactly what they do there so let’s call them Call Center 1. If you still remember, Call Center 1 cleverly passed me Call Center 2’s number. So I called Call Center 2 yesterday.

Call Center 2: I’m afraid we won’t be able to help you. You will need to call this Mr. X. He’s in charge of your case. Here’s his number XXX XXXX.

Today I checked the contractor’s number and Mr. X’s. They’re different. So 2 people is in charge? I decided to give the contractor a try first.

Contractor: No, the problem is with the service provider itself. They have not changed to a line capable of providing 2Mbps speed.

So I tried calling Mr. X.

“This is the voice mailbox…”

Hrmp.

Don't pee in your pants

2008-04-03T17:42:00.009+08:00

We can hardly find signs like this in Malaysia. But if you do, don't pee in your pants.

Finally...

...which do you think is the female washroom? I think I'll go with the left.

There are more but I'm too lazy.

The Wait

2008-04-02T17:19:00.003+08:00

Do you think it’s safe to say that half of our lives are dedicated to waiting? We wait in the queue when we’re buying food. We wait for our parents to fetch us from school when we were small. We wait for the elevator when we need to get up or down. We wait for our friends who know how to come fashionably late. We wait for the advertisements to end and our movie to start in the cinema. We wait for the stupid video to load on YouTube (or the other slow streaming sites for that matter). We wait for our boyfriend/girlfriend to return our call. We wait in the car for our mothers to finish their grocery shopping. We wait for the traffic lights to change. You know, I bet I can think of a hundred more and this entry will never end but the main problem I wanna stress today is, yes, the main bitch that sparked off this entry is my broadband connection upgrade.

Almost 3 weeks ago I received a call for an offer to upgrade to 2Mbps. I said ok and was told that within 7 working days their contractor (so they call him) would come with my new modem and IPTV (free trial). So I waited for 1 week and their highly competent contractor hasn’t called yet. I waited for a few more days before I called them again and the girl on the line said she would check. And so after that I waited for another 4 days before I called them again and finally got their undivided attention (right…).

Now, after all those calls I’ve finally managed to get the highly competent and I’d like to add, super busy, contractor here to fix the cables. Guess how surprised I was when I was told that the service hasn’t been upgraded for me yet. And off he goes rushing out of my house as if he saw a gun hidden in my room. I had to stop him so I could ask a “what’s-going-on?” question to which he answered half-heartedly while going down the stairs towards the corridor. How busy can a man be? This is your job, hello? And you’ve already made me wait, like, 3 weeks, hello? Don’t I at least get a decent explanation??

He told me not to call those peeps from the provider company but call him instead. I bet those peeps were putting pressure on him yesterday to come to my place. But I called them anyway. Somebody has to answer me okay?

Operator: Mr. Y (the one I was supposed to seek for problems) is currently engaged with another customer, could you wait for him to call you back? You’re Ms. Runawaycat right?

Great. I called them so many times the whole office probably knows who I am already. So I waited. After like 3 hours, he finally called and cleverly passed me another number which I should call if I have any further problems. And as for the activation I was told to wait another 24 hours. I think I might as well multiply that by 3.

There goes another long wait. When it comes to the billings they would most definitely be efficient but…

With more waits to come I’d like to dedicate this song to all you hopeless people out there and whatever you’re waiting for.

We line on the left and we line on the right,

And we wait, and we wait, and we wait all night,

With a groan and a sigh and a half life gone

Finally!

With a yay and a sigh but a new queue is found!

It sucks I know. Whatever.

Stress your head a little

2008-04-01T23:35:00.003+08:00

If you don't mind the slowness of Veoh (or maybe it's only slow to me alone) you can try doing this.

Online Videos by Veoh.com

That fella on the left, his face is so funny I smile everytime I think about it. Even when I'm angry.

Funny commercials

2008-03-31T17:38:00.001+08:00

Mind a laugh?

Everybody rock your body...or rocker rock your body?

2008-03-31T04:22:00.007+08:00

I just discovered a MV by L'Arc~en~Ciel, a Japanese rock band which has a dance at the end of their song. A rock band dancing. A really cool dance too. And it's very synchronised which makes it cooler (Who in their right minds would put an unsynchronized dance in their MV right?)

Cool, huh? Especially how their back looks like a wave when they uh...bent down, whatever. I don't know what this word may mean to you but I just feel like saying it. Kinky! (no it's not that, don't go there)

This dance sorta reminds me of Backstreet Boys' song 'Everybody' (yea...rock your body yea...) Haha. I bought that album when I was 12. So long ago. 1,2,3...10 years ago! Tsk. I'm rotting old.

Here's the vid. Incidentally the dance is around the beginning so no waiting :P And nail cutter *ahem* Nick Carter's voice is like so 'ah boy' hahahaha!

Sigh. Ii desu ne, dansu wa?

Mailbox cash

2008-03-29T18:53:00.005+08:00

[source]

I swear I dreamt of the same thing 2 days ago. I was with my little brother (I don't have any in actuality - wonder what that means) and we were checking the mailbox. Inside there were a big pile of letters which made me really happy. And below it were notes - Rupiah notes to be exact. And they're brand new too. I have never seen the Rupiah before and Rupiah don't exactly worth much. Damn.

Sleepy cats

2008-03-29T04:59:00.006+08:00

Considering that I'm a 'cat' - if you regard c.a.t as that animal who feels they are superior to humans, show little trust in us - and not just merely a word made up of the letters c.a.t, and if it makes you any happier, I've included here, a video on sleepy cats.

http://www.4shared.com/file/16303011/4bd6b46/sleepy_cats.html (it doesn't allow the embedding option, so copy, paste, and hit enter you lazy asshole) I'm sure if I try hard enough I can find the exact same one in YouTube but hello, I need to sleep too okay.

Sigh since my devotion to you made me visit YouTube anyway, here are more silly (but cute) cats.

More than 6 million views? What's with people and cats!? What's with me promoting it here? Weird.
This one has absense seizure. And narcolepsy.

They're kinda adorable when they fall asleep, so much so I wanna twist their heads off. I'm scary. Perhaps I need to fall asleep just like how they do it. Goddamit.

404 - You are dumb

2008-03-27T19:54:00.002+08:00

Stole this from Chickenmafia. I even stole his title. Yay! It's funny, I thought I'd share it here. And then Paolo left this in the comments. I thought it would never end.

Little mozart?

2008-03-24T22:06:00.000+08:00

The host of the show is boring though. Or maybe it's the language. Ooops!

I'll be missing you

2008-03-23T21:05:00.000+08:00

Remember this one? It was a huge hit back then. Enjoy~

A tag?

2008-03-22T22:56:00.003+08:00

This is one hell of a confusing tag. So uh...huh? Uh...copy away!

~~Begin Copy~~

This is the easy way and the fastest way to :
1. Make your Authority Technorati explode.
2. Increase your Google Page Rank.
3. Get more traffic to your blog.
4. Makes more new friends.

Rules :
1. Start copy from "Begin Copy" until "End Copy" to your blog.
2. Put your own blog name and link.
3. Tag your friends as much as you can.

1. Chickenmafia
2. Karljam
3. Ah ban
4. Arbet
5. Jeff - HainaneseChicken (I don't think you gave me a reason to your name yet)
6. Katherine with a K
7. Brown Cottage
8. TizzyB
9. Benard Cometh
10. Yakuza (ahem)
11. Geez I have no friends
12. If you happen to be not it the list, don't get angry; it's for your own good. I don't want to have sickos visit your blog.

~~End Copy~~

So now I'm supposed to tag people. Sigh. I'll tag no.2 and no. 3.

It's not easy to be me

2008-03-22T22:41:00.000+08:00

I think the song is Kryptonite or maybe Superman; well it’s somewhere along those lines. It was on air the other day and while listening to it I found one line quite inspiring. “It’s not easy to be me.” It’s got a strong meaning doesn’t it? Like when you think you’ve got all the world’s burden on your shoulder, you think, it’s not easy to be me. Then you’d feel like you can accept and be ready for whatever that’s on your way. You’d think, hey, I’m a big, important person!

If you wake up and find that you have a bad hair, think, It’s not easy to be me
If you’re in the toilet having a constipating episode, think, It’s not easy to be me
If your boss gives you an impossible amount of work to do, think, It’s not easy to be me

Yea, yea, I know you got my point. I’m beginning to sound redundant aren’t I? Well, it’s not easy to be me. I have to make sure the message gets through without being twisted and manipulated into something totally different and hazardous (to me).

Sigh. I have an almost impossible list of things to get started with, in a procrastinator’s opinion. It’s not easy….to be…me.

Title: Essay (???)

2008-03-21T00:33:00.001+08:00

I found a piece of material I wrote years ago on my old computer. I was going through its hard disk cleaning out whatever that I may not want people to see. It’s time I throw out my old computer. Read it, I retyped it out okay. There was no way I could transfer it here coz that old com cannot read my pendrive, doesn’t have a burner, and I doubt the internet would work on it without first giving me a heart attack.

************

Much of my time spent today was to concoct an essay in the hope of spinning up an amusing text. Well, I would have to say that it was a vain attempt. But at last, I am sitting down and trying to type a piece of readable matter. I have never considered myself as a person with an itch for writing. It has always been an issue for me when it comes to composing an essay. You might think, “What is it that makes it so hard about writing an essay?” Unfortunately, I myself cannot answer that. But, I do believe that many suffer from this disease of mine.

Considerations had been given to writing about issues concerning the self-absorbed, materialistic mankind or the exhausted planet earth. But in the end the mind-brawl between the two ideas are better settled with a new title. As fresh ideas flow in, the dilemma continues for the fickle-minded me. Months of not having to write a single essay have, without a doubt, taken a toll on my ability to write.

As more mental exercise took place, the buzzing insects flitting around my legs have started to annoy me. Soon enough, I found myself taking mosquito catching as a sport. Although it may sound exaggerated, I would say the air is infested with this blood-sucking creatures. I guess this is what hot and rainy season brings to life. Just then, the idea of writing about my favourite fictional character, Forrest Gump, sprang into my mind. Although just a fiction, I have always been fascinated by the way he lived his life, just by the simple words, “Life is a box of chocolates”, what his momma told him. How or why life is analogized to chocolates, I do not know. What I do know is, the world would most certainly be a better place had everyone lived the way he did, sincere and unpretentious. Some may regard him to be a bit simple, but to me, he certainly has a beautiful mind. Quoting The Dhammapada, Mind is the forerunner of all actions, All deeds are led by mind, created by mind. If one speaks or acts with serene mind, Happiness follows, as surely as one’s shadows.

That would have been what I would elaborate on if I were to write about him. However, the thought of it faded. Perhaps I prefer watching and reading it that to writing it. Brainwaves continue to propagate as I search for a different perspective to write. As physics would have hypothesized, energy would be transferred from the source of the wave, my brain. My eyelids start to droop and it is time for my spiritual sleep. I think I will stop now.

************

I absolutely do not remember when or especially why I wrote it. The English didn’t even sound like mine. I suck now. But there are parts in the piece where I sound like I’m speaking in the present and yet another in the past. I guess I can’t make up my mind whether I should be writing about what’s going on or what went on. And I think I still have that problem. Well whatever. I think some lines sound cheesy. And uh…what’s The Dhammapada?! Did I really write this?

Light joke in the mail

2008-03-18T22:27:00.002+08:00

When you can't think of anything to blog about, go to your email and thank those people who endlessly forward shit to you. Sometimes the shit is not so much of a shit after all.

***************

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"
So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff. and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff. and he was also gone.
The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm."
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"

****************

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you A wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true."
The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted, "WINE".
The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.
Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool.
The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly He steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!! ......... "

LESSON: "THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN"
(I'd like to edit that to: Sometimes shit do happen)

****************

The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was In charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:
Brain....... .. I should be in charge because I run all body functions.
Blood....... . I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.
Stomach... I should be in charge because I process food to the brain.
Legs........ . I should be in charge because I take the brain where it Wants to go.
Eyes........ . I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going.
Asshole..... I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.
All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad.

To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and Stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.
Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief

Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly

Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable

Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred

Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body

Day 6 -The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in charge.

MORAL OF THE STORY: "NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN CHARGE".........

*****************

It Wasn't Me

2008-03-17T23:05:00.003+08:00

This song so reminds me of those Napster days. I think I can even smell it.

If you watched till the end, you could see that it's actually connected, the beginning and the ending, like a circle.

Oh and the bike doesn't have ABS :P

Irritable amazement

2008-03-17T22:53:00.001+08:00

Blog…blog…that’s what I’ve been telling myself everyday. I don’t know, I’m just so lazy these days. Maybe it’s the bad digestion I’ve been having for the past 2 weeks. Sucks. You always feel full even though it’s already 4 hours after your last meal. Imagine that! Four hours after your last meal is usually the time you cry about your starvation.

Well anyway, I attended a talk unwillingly yesterday. There’s the F factor there. F for force. The talk is divided into 2 sessions with a different speaker for each talk. What’s amazing is the talk is meant to encourage patriotism (so called, huh) but the first speaker was a racist and the second a sexist. They’ve got it all covered huh? Guess who’s the victim? Imagine my pain.

On another account, my friend came to my house and changed her clothes in my room. What’s amazing (also amazing, so many amazing things, I might just die being amazed) here is that she threw her jeans over my pillow. Hmmm….hmm….who does that!? I don’t even throw my jeans on my pillow. Jesus I don’t even throw whatever dirty clothes anywhere near my pillow. Another amazing this is she asked, “Is it okay if I put my clothes here?” Sureeeeeeeeeeee…sit on my pillow if you don’t mind.

Well, I let go of that but I found out the ‘after effect’ at night. My pillow stinks of her perfume. It was just a 5 minute contact! And my pillow smells like her jeans! Did she pour her perfume on my pillow as well?? Sigh. She must have used a whole bottle of perfume on her jeans to give that kind of effect. Amazing isn’t it? Seriously, it’s so strong the smell woke me up the next morning. Shit what’s that smell!? My nose!!!

I was super irritable this morning. Perhaps I might still be. Let’s not go there. Just blame the bad digestion. Oh and, shut up, I know it’s a lame title.

Humans, the ugliest creatures in this world

2008-03-15T01:10:00.001+08:00

I’m so sick of this. Everyone, although fully grown adults (so grown that they’re probably starting to rot already), still cannot think like one. Every division only thinks of themselves and yet they want to be one. But open your eyes, especially those who stresses on wanting to be one. You’re still referring to different divisions as separate entities. How is that one?

Everyone wants a piece of the cake. They say share. But some wants a bigger share. They say it’s only fair. Makes you wonder the definition of fair. I’m so sick of this I don’t care. If there’s a place we could all go, we should. Then they can have the cake to themselves and we’ll just see how long before the cake finishes and they start to starve. Let’s see how they bear.

Remember her?

2008-03-12T18:32:00.003+08:00

Meredith Brooks. She sang 'I'm a Bitch'? Seems like nobody remembers her except Philos. I remember her because this is one of my favourite songs in the 90's. Let's see if you recognized the tune.

Sure reminds me of old times. Now I feel like bringing back all those 'old' songs. Lemon tree....hahaha. Maybe another time :)

The irony of life...and I say there's more to come

2008-03-08T00:11:00.003+08:00

Lately I’ve managed to find myself something to think about. As if my mind is not fully occupied with coursework and test already, I had to add in more things for it to process. But it’s more like a uh…yin and yang thing. You know? You need something to neutralize all that poison your coursework leaves behind in your brain.

So I found myself something to work on, as I was saying, and have been surfing the net for it. And I now find myself significantly insignificant. Can’t believe I just put those two words together. They almost look like mirror images. Ok I’m rambling.

All this surfing for the thing I’m working on, which happens to really interest me, has lead me to others like myself. They’re working on the same thing, far ahead of me, likes stuff Japanese, listens to J-pop, likes to make crafts, blogs (and with proper English) and one even studies in the same course as me! I had to double check she’s not from my school. If it were just for fun, I’d be happy that I found these people. It’s like finding a ‘gang’ that you belong to. An identity has been what I’ve been searching for (though I’m not sure if finding these people gives me a shit of an identity). But now that I’ve discovered people like me, it only makes me feel less me. Oh this is confusing isn’t it? Right now, I wish they didn’t exist.

They’re talented. They have wonderful ideas in their heads. They intimidate me. Will I be able to come up with more original, imaginative, ideas? The thought that there are so many other ‘me’ out there is overwhelming. Well, to find that some of them can’t write without major grammatical mistakes kinda gladdens me but there are those who can write amazingly well. And I’ve somehow lost the gist when it comes to writing. Gone are the times when I could write stories that I myself would love to read. Something I’d read over and over and still would not get sick of. And then I’ll just bask in the egoistic thought of my amazing talent. So full of myself, aren’t I? I know you’ve had those moments. Admit it.

Now I feel so behind. As if time did not wait for me to grow up. It left me behind. And I have a lot of catching up to do. There are so many things I wanna learn it’s not possible to complete them in the time that my patience will allow. Kiasuism is starting to affect me. And finally I’ve only generated more poison for my mind. How ironic.

Utautai no Ballad - Bank Band

2008-03-02T23:53:00.005+08:00

Sakurai said this song has a beautiful message to deliver at the end. I'm not sure about that (I'm not all that romantic you know) but just listen to his beautiful voice.

Utautai no Ballad
ah, utau koto wa
muzukashii koto janai
tada koe ni mi wo makase
atama no naka wo karappo ni suru dake

ah, me wo tojireba
mune no naka ni utsuru
natsukashii omoide ya anata to no mainichi

hontou no koto wa
uta no naka ni aru
itsumo nara terekusakute ienai koto mo

kyou datte anata wo omoinagara utautai wa utau yo
zutto ienakatta kotoba ga aru
mijikai kara kiiteokure ai shiteru
Ah…

Ah, utau koto wa
muzukashii koto janai
sono mune no mekakushi wo sotto hazuseba ii

sora ni ukanderu kotoba wo tsukande
MERODI wo noseta kumo de tabi ni dekakeru

jounentsu no kanata ni nani ga aru?
ki ni naru kara ikou yo
mado no soto ni kitakaze ga
udegumi suru BIRU no kage ni fuku keredo
bokura wo nosete melody wa tsuzuku

kyou datte anata wo omoinagara uta utai wa utau yo
dou yatte anata ni tsutaeyou
ame no yoru mo fuyu no asa mo soba ni ite

HAPPII ENDO no eiga wo ima imeeji shite utau yo
konna ni suteki na kotoba ga aru mijikai kedo kiiteokure yo,
ai shiteru...

Want to sing
Ah, singing
It’s not a difficult thing to do
Entrust your body to my voice now
Just empty your mind

Ah, if I close my eyes
I can reflect everything inside my chest
Things like the dear memories I had with you everyday

Truth
They can be found in songs
Even embarrassing words that I can’t say

However today I think back about you and
I wanna sing this song
There are always words I could not say
It’s short but please hear me, I love you
Ah…

Ah, singing
It’s not a difficult thing to do
It’s better that I slowly remove this heart’s blindfold

I catch the words that rise into the sky
Riding the melodies on a cloud
I go out traveling

What is there in this passion’s spot?
Because we can reach this mood, let’s go
With the north wind outside the window
We fold our arms as the wind blows on the building’s shadows
The never ending melody rides on us

However, today I think back about you and I wanna sing this song
Somehow I’m gonna let you know
Even on the rainy nights and in the winter mornings, I’ll be by your side
Now I’m singing with the image of a movie’s happy ending in my head
Although short, there’s such a wonderful word and I want you to hear
I love you…

I first heard this remake of Kazuyoshi Saito's song by Bank Band on Music Station. Of course watching it at 10 am in the morning is not my idea of fun. Soon after I go back to sleep the song was forgotten. Until...Arbet put it up in his blog. Now the song's burnt into my head. I tried to translate the song. What? Procrastinators translate songs??! Well, if you asked (Arbet did) and if it's my fav song I'd gladly do it. He put the translation up in his blog already but I just had to put it up in mine too. *Psst* And of course ADD the note that I do NOT guarantee the accuracy of the lyrics. It's my first time ever translating okay. He didn't make that disclaimer on my behalf. I have to make that declaration so nobody can laugh at me. Buueeekk!

If, after listening to this song, you like his voice as much as I do, let me tell you a bit about him. Sakurai is the lead singer in Mr. Children (my fav!) and also in Bank Band which he and his producer friend Takeshi Kobayashi formed to promote ap bank which they started with composer Sakamoto Ryuichi. Ap bank is a non-profit financial institution which loans money to various environmental friendly projects.

Sakurai, mijikai kedo, kiiteokure, aishiteru!

Fatso idea of a see-saw

2008-03-02T01:47:00.005+08:00

I can never comprehend this. Look at the image below. It’s an adaptation of what academicians/books/notes/brochures used to specify which is more than the other (I'm not saying all but books/notes/brochures that I came across). Ok perhaps I shouldn’t have used human figures. Anyway just imagine they’re things labeled X and Y.

Say X is the single figure and Y is the double figure. Would you say there’s more of X or Y?

Common sense would tell you there’s more Y because it’s heavier right? Even if I only used to identical figures to represent X and Y, you would still say there's more Y right? But no, according to the sources I chanced upon, it’s actually the other way round. Which smartass came up with this!? I mean, don’t use a freaking see-saw if you wanna use height as a measure of quantity. Thanks for confusing all the kids about simple, basic physics.

It's random, no title! Ok, fine, it's about me, myself and I

2008-03-02T00:59:00.003+08:00

Why do I have to crack my head for a title everytime? And I have to choose a freaking label for it at the end too.

I quit my job. Been wanting to quit and I finally did. Now I can have Wednesday and Thursday nights free. Oh dear what should I do with them? I’m starting to miss my colleagues too. And most importantly I’ll have to visit my ATM friend more often. My account is gonna burn. But I hope this is encouraging enough for me to start sourcing for money elsewhere. In fact there is another desperate reason for me to do that but let’s just let it be first.

On the last day of my job which was what, 3 days ago, I almost got into a road accident. I was on my way to class, going up the sloping road towards a corner when another car coming down the slope skidded. I don’t know how to describe it but imagine a car coming from the opposite side suddenly making a U-turn into your lane.

I didn’t see how it happened because I was looking at the lorry parked at the road side with long metal ‘sticks’ sticking out of it. They look like they’re gonna slip off anytime and who knows, pierce into my car when I pass next to it. Well anyway they didn’t but a car almost rammed into me alright. Thank god I turned back soon enough to see it and hit the brakes. But even if I didn’t it wouldn’t be much of a damage. I might lose a headlight or two, break the water tank, etc. It would be a pain in the ass though. But if I had left the house 2 seconds earlier (yea, melodramatic), I would be in the right position where he would have rammed right into me. And I mean, right into me, on the driver’s side. Or if he started his journey 2 seconds later he would still crash into me. Endless possibilities.

So what happened after that? He drove to the side to check his tyre and I drove off like nothing happened. Well nothing did happen. When I told people about it they showed horrifying expressions but I told them I felt nothing. I don’t know. I’ll probably be punished by God one day, if there’s one, for not appreciating life.

P.S. To you Americanized people, tyre is British okay. And sorry for causing you a headache. I know I can’t even connect sentences or ideas together. Forgive me for I have not written anything in a while. Oh shoosh! I should just stop making a fool of myself now.

Kung Fu Hustle

2008-02-24T02:31:00.002+08:00

Remember Kung Fu Hustle? The movie by Stephen Chow? Well, if you've never heard of it, or never watched it before, go do it now :P

I just re-watched it earlier and have agreed that this is one of Stephen's best movies. To tell you the truth, I used to like watching his crazy acts when I was small, then slowly he got boring. Until Kung Fu Hustle of course. Now I feel like giving CJ7 a go. What do you think?

Anyway, let's do some video recap of Kung Fu Hustle shall we? I think it's no harm watching these parts, they're not spoilers, if you haven't watched it (that's the thing with comedies, nothing is a spoiler)

Remember the Axe Gang and their really funny dance?

This part was so funny (it still is), the cinema was roaring with laughter. Fine, we Malaysians find it funny okay?

And then there's the road runner and the landlady's magnificient flight. Remember that?

There's a reason why she's chasing him and it's super funny too but I can't find a Chinese version of it, only the dubbed ones. I'm not putting those here. You gotta look at the English dubbed ones. The words they used are not as funny, worse still is, their intonations are all wrong! If they think that's funny, then they'll die of laughter if they can understand Cantonese. I'm not trying to start a racist slur, but I feel no one can make a sentence any funnier than the Chinese. It's like there are words where you just can't translate no matter what, and if you don't understand it, you're on the losing side, humor wise.

Anyway, the original one I found is this. It's slightly longer but it gets funny (after 3 minutes). Trust me.

Shit it's 2:30 AM! And I'm hungry. Anyway, go watch it if you haven't.

I have a dream

2008-02-19T18:03:00.000+08:00

Yea…think Westlife. No.

I was supposed to study just now but I got so lazy I made myself sleep even though I wasn’t sleepy. Never gonna do that again. All I got was nasty dreams.

I dreamt that I went to school and bought durians from the guard’s nest (i.e. their headquarters duh). I bought like a big and long net full of durians from them for only 18.80. Then I regretted horribly because, first, I don’t eat durians and second, mom breaks open the durians to see that they’re spoilt. Instead of looking like the yellow gooey ‘meat’, they looked like those salty eggs (hmm…what do you call them?). It’s transparent and you can see the orange yolk in the inside. Ugh…yuck. Then the scene turned into my apartment corridor and I started giving away the durians to neighbours I’ve never seen before. Nothing pleasant about that dream. And my eyes hurt after that. Damn.

Just like this morning when the alarm rang but I thought I’d take a nap and had a nasty dream. The dogs were really curious and attracted to my handbag and my mom said there must be something wrong with it. She took and shook it and out came 3 creepy crawlers, one of them being a centipede! I hate centipedes! Go away! Go away! They’re ugly, have many legs, are extremely fast, and like cockroaches, they usually chase you. Nightmare!!!!!!!!!

Ok why is my mom in all my dreams today? Gotta shoo her out next time I see her.

Talking about dreams, I had a weird one the other day. I was telling a story in my dream. It was about this guy living alone in a desert with a huge skull with glowing blue eyes. The guy had uneven teeth and one day the skull told him to go look for the treasure money hidden somewhere so he can get his teeth fixed. On his journey, he met a thirsty man, another man who I forgot what his problem was, and another girl who had no teeth. After he got the treasure, he went back and the skull asked him where the money was and why were his teeth still crooked. He said that on the way back he offered the thirsty man his drink and that the money is with the dentist.

I totally understood the ‘joke’ or ‘riddle’ behind the story but I’m guessing you must be scratching your head now.

Stare and you shall see

2008-02-10T02:52:00.001+08:00

There’s this video that I’ve been trying to upload into crunchyroll for the millionth time but still failed. So just now, I decided to stare at the progress bar, millimeter-ing its way, believing that it’ll not stop if I’m looking at it.

This reminds me of one time when I was small, I decided to stare at the clock to see when the minute-hand moves. Its coz every time I turn around the longer hand of the clock would have moved significantly when I look again. I believe I was less than 5 years old that time and already I’m worried about the time. Sigh. Cursed life.

Of course, like the famous ‘saying’ puts it, if you stare too hard, you won’t be able to distinguish a change. That’s not a saying. I made it up. So it was a failed attempt. Plus, as another famous ‘saying’ goes, ‘as boring as watching the hand of a clock’, I wasn’t able to concentrate long enough before my eyes starts to wander and it was at that time when the asshole minute-hand stole a leap.

You might wonder, how’s the upload progress bar going? It stopped. Right before my eyes.

So un-(enter word)

2008-02-10T02:16:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year is so un-Chinese New Year this time. Other than having to watch Music Station Super Live, everything else was a snore fest. First, I’m stuck at home. That’s coz the car broke down (can’t get it fixed till Monday coz all the mechanics are having a wonderful CNY opposed to mine). Second, there was an electrical cut for hours yesterday morning, disrupting my sleep, and burning the skin off my back. Third, I see fewer relatives this year, and for some reason, they’re relatively inactive. Maybe they’re all on drowsy medication. And finally the fussy auntie didn’t call at all. She calls every CNY. Big, big, surprise. Although I hate being forced to go to her place, not going meant significantly less ang pau.

With all the inactivity, Runawaycat’s steamboat count is still at one. Perhaps I should change it to Runawaycat’s days rotting at home count. The latter would win without even having to compete.

CNY 2008 vocabulary: uncanny, uninteresting, un-active, unimaginable, un-happening, So Un-CNY.

Short entry? That's coz the yakuza has more things to say. The cat's in a mess now.

Gong Xi Fa Cai YouTube style

2008-02-07T01:06:00.000+08:00

I was searching for my favourite CNY commercial; the one where the grandma goes around the house telling everyone to get rid of black things and replace them with red. Still can't find it but I found other uh...funny ones unrelated to this festive season. Anyway...enjoy! And oh, if anyone knows where I can find that commercial I was looking for, do tell.

CNY so hot, I'm seeing things

2008-02-07T00:05:00.001+08:00

It’s so hot, I’m hallucinating. The other day when I was driving, I saw water up ahead on the road. I thought someone had spilled water on it but no matter how far I drive, I get nowhere near it. It’s so freaking hot I’m seeing a mirage.

And today my back felt like it was on fire even though I wasn’t sleeping on it. When it started to feel like my skin was going to burn off, I got up to lie on the floor. It didn’t matter that my room floor was dusty. The icy cold dirty floor felt good. It’s still dirty now, even though we’re 4 minutes away from Chinese New Year, when you’re not supposed to sweep your floor anymore till the second day. Oh well, who said everything must be squeaky clean?

Sheesh why did I start talking bout my room? Sigh, it’s a warzone of dust. If you stand 10 feet away from it, you’ll see my room in a nice, pretty condition. That’s until you zoom in a 100x. Welcome to my room you farking dusts! It’s like all the dusts in the world is gathered in my room! Oh what the hell. It’s 12 am already.

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

Oh and I just had my first steamboat of the year. I’m predicting more to come. Hallelujah. Riggghhhhtt….

I'm still alive, even if you don't care

2008-02-01T22:37:00.000+08:00

I have nothing to blog about really. This is just a reminder to you that I'm still very much alive in the blogging world. But it's just that lately, I'm not so into it. I've been thinking about money and money only for the past few weeks. Ouch, materialistic, aren't I?

Oh, the elation hasn't stopped yet. And especially today, I'm ecstatic. Why? Why? Why? Coz....I'm going to Vietnam in 3 months time. Yahoo!!! Of course thinking about the tonnes of reports and assignments I have to do during the Chinese New Year break will kill off the mood, but let's all remain ignorant okay? Yes, you too. Ignorance is bliss.

Oh and anyone watched Sweeney Todd yet? I went into the cinema expecting anything but a musical and it turned out to be one. Yet it's still nice coz it's got dark humour, and shit, and piss (if you listen to the lyrics). Let's end this boring entries with the shit, the piss, the pie and the beach, shall we?

The moral of the story is...

2008-01-19T23:36:00.000+08:00

I stumbled upon the folk tales section in the library a few days ago. Up till today, I’ve read 2 books from that shelve, and I find the Canadian Inuit folk tales to be completely weird. Now, a normal story, especially a folk tale would carry a moral lesson in it, or at least a story line or something. But these Copper Eskimos, I don’t know, their stories are simply weird!

Take for example, the story of The Deceitful Raven. It is less than a page long and tells of a story of this bird who told the people of a settlement that visitors are coming and they should make way down the foot of the cliff to meet them. So they set out and when they reached the foot of the cliff, they took shelter there. Seeing this, the raven flew to the top of the cliff and when everyone was asleep he jumped and danced and caused an avalanche, burying everyone beneath it. The raven waited in eager anticipation for spring to come and the snow to disappear because he liked to peck out the eyes of the victims. The end.

Yeeeerrr~ Did you just feel a cold gush of wind? Creepy… All the tales are like that. Either kill someone, or take revenge, or no storyline at all. The Ghost Hunter is an example of one that has no purpose. It started off with this guy fearing ghosts, but he ends up living with them, and then the story changes on to his hunting trips, completely abandoning the idea of ghosts in its theme, and finally he disappeared in a bowl of water. Uh…okayyy…

And then there’s this one, Kidnapped by Wolves, talking about two wolves trying to steal a couple’s baby. The male wolf took of his skin and thus looked like a man. He walked over to the couple working in the fields and invited them to dance. Coincidentally, the couple loved dancing so they agreed. The wolf started singing magic chants and soon the couple was under his spell. Seeing their trance-like state, the female wolf sneaked into their house and ran away with the baby. Soon the couple woke up and chased after the wolves. When they found the wolves’ den, they waited till night fall to kill the wolves. When the wolves were asleep they emerged from their hiding place and ‘let their arrows fly’ killing the wolves instantly. But the female wolf had been holding their baby to her chest so (let me quote) “The arrow that pierced her chest killed the child at the same moment.” And that’s it. The end. Whoa. Award winning story. Perhaps this story does have a moral. Never dance when a wolf invites you to.

I have to say, reading what I’m blabbing here, or reading someone’s blog about what he had for dinner yesterday and the rest of the days before that, would definitely have made more sense. So the moral of the story is, don’t live in an igloo if you don’t want you brain to be frozen.

Everyone's invited to a drink in my spaceship

2008-01-14T18:57:00.000+08:00

But since no such spaceship exists, you’ll just have to make do with your imagination. Imaginations are so useful aren’t they?

So why is Runawaycat treating you to a drink in your dreams? She’s happy. She’s elated. She feels like she’s 16. No, it’s not a guy, thanks for the opinion.

Perhaps it’s classes? Weird huh? But that’s what it is. When I have a responsibility at hand (and that is to be a good student, yuck, I almost puked) I tend to sway into other areas, doing things that make me feel elated or 16 or so not related to school. I’m such a dependable person. My parents must be proud. Seriously. A daughter that can concentrate in multiple areas that have absolutely no relation to one another whatsoever. Any parent would kill for a daughter like me. I love myself.

Hmm writing this is beginning to rob my euphoria away. But what should I do? I have too much free time. (knock on wood a million times!) I think I’ll go pop an ecstasy pill now. Bye guys. Love me, kay?

Malaysians love the library

2008-01-12T17:33:00.000+08:00

They love it so much they go there in their dreams. Yes, while they’re happily taking an afternoon nap in their room. Don’t tell me this is another library closing early rant? FORTUNATELY for everyone, YES it is.

What is this, the 11^th time!? They used to open till night on Saturdays, and till 4.30pm on Sundays. Sundays didn’t even make sense to me. Now they close at 4pm on both days?! Oh that makes sense. That makes so much sense I’m pissing my head off.

You guessed right. I just came back from there, pissed. The papers talked about Malaysians not going to the libraries, not reading books, yada yada yada, but look who’s so encouraging us to go. Closing early is a real encouragement. Oh thank you, now I love the library so much I’ll bring my pillow there so when they FINALLY open I can be the first to embrace all its books.

The story doesn’t end there. Let’s talk about the general majority of the government servants. (I so wanna make this a racist slur, but I’ll only get my butt toasted so nevermind). I thought I was smart enough to have brought the bills there. The post office is just opposite the library so if that damned place is really closed, I could go pay bills instead. Makes my effort driving there not going to waste right?

Now, the post office closes at 4.30pm, at least that’s what I’m aware of. Its doors were WIDE opened so I walked in, passed the guy at the postal counter (so surprised to see him there; he’s usually hiding inside doing god knows what. I was going to say jerking himself, but I’m a polite person) to the 4 counters where you can pay your bills. The first counter says ‘Next counter please’, and so did the second…and the third….and the fourth! I innocently asked the postal guy if it’s closed and he said “Yea yea semua tutup.” (all closed) Grrr…

So postal guy can’t do my bills. He can’t go close to those 4 counters or he’ll literally melt. He also didn’t smell the fire under my breath. Coz if he did, he would really have melted.

And by the way, this is how the Malaysian system works. If there are 10 counters, 7 are just for display only. Just like the 4 counters in that damned post office, 3 are for display purposes only. I went there the other day and the line was freaking long yet only 1 counter was opened. It’s not like there are no staffs around. I thought I saw another woman loitering around stroking every corner of the office with her Midas’ touch.

But it’s not like I could do anything so I waited patiently. When it was finally my turn I saw what the major fucking problem was. The woman operating the counter was on drugs. She was moving like a VCR on 0.25x slow speed. I could see her slowly taking the money from me, slowly opening the drawer, slowly dropping the notes one by one in there as she counts, slowly giving out a loud sigh, slowly counting my change, and slowly saying that she’s TIRED (omfg tired sitting down counting money while getting paid by your loving government?).

Now I’m motivated to write my love letter to Astro after procrastinating for 2 months. It’s amazing how laziness can make you endure crap for so long.

Old house, memories, flour, end of the world

2008-01-09T01:13:00.000+08:00

My mom and I were just talking about making lanterns for the Chinese New Year when I suddenly remembered the atmosphere in my old house. I can even smell the altar right now. Hmm…brings back memories.

I would always rummage through the altar closet to look at the lamps, vases, lanterns, and especially the red cloth you’d hang on your door when new year is around the corner. For some reason I always do that at night. (Actually I rummage through a lot of stuff in the house just about anytime of the year because I was always too free). We had a few of those red cloths, embroidered ones and plain ones. I like the embroidered ones but my mom was always rooting for the plain one. We would argue on which to use and of course, every time, she won.

And then there’s that morning feeling in the living room. I wake up, go down the stairs to the sofa in the living room and continue my sleep. Then I’d start to sweat because I forgot to turn the fan on. But sometimes the cool breeze would blow in through the window and you’d hear people coming back from the market. I would only get up to turn on the fan when the heat was getting unbearable or if the postman just dropped by. There’s also the smell of the joss stick burning. Once my mom bought the wrong ones and they made tears well in my eyes.

And when mom returns from the market I would grab her bags to see what food she bought me :P Food in Pulau Tikus is always good. I haven’t had a decent breakfast since I stayed here up on the hill surrounded by uh, hills. And there’s also the famous pork satay sold by the uncle who parks his cart on our street. Now I’m starting to wonder, why our street?

Oh there’s also our back door. Our favourite back door. When you have nothing to do, you open the back door and stare out at the alley. When your dog needs to pee, you open the back door. When you wanna throw food out, you open the back door and the cats would come. When you need to fag, you open the back door. Of course I don’t fag. I still remember how it feels like sitting with your butt on the brick outside the back door. My back door!

And then there’s the balcony. And the door that opens to the compound. And the cool floor of the washing area. And the time when I was 5 when I shit in the potty in the living room. Okay we don’t need to go there do we? Sigh, all the memories are there. I wonder if these feelings and memories would soon fade away with time.

On the side note, the country is now short of flour. Next week onwards, no more roti canai for everyone. The mamaks can finally register a loss in their account. Yay! I’m so excited that the world is ending.

P.S. I hate having 2 blogs. I had to crack my head just to think of where this entry should go. Sheesh. This one? That one? Finally this one. I should put another entry full of pics in the other blog. Yes I think I will. Yay! Problem solved.

No burning midnight oils please

2008-01-06T23:09:00.000+08:00

Did I say I was going to tell you all about my New Year’s Eve family dinner? Well, I found that my cousin had already posted up the video on YouTube so that entry will have to go in another blog. In SpaceParade, Runawaycat is of course, a cat. If I were to put up that video with me looking like human, although it’s just like 2 seconds of me in it, it would have defeat all purpose.

So instead, Runawaycat will talk about cooking oil here. The nation is in a frenzy to grab all available cooking oil off the shelves. In fact, they already did so days ago. Try going to any supermarket or sundry shop and see if you can find any. The only oils left would be corn oils, lamp oils, baby oils, massage oils, hair oils, Evening Primrose oils; hmm did I miss out any other oil?

I don’t know what’s with this cooking oil thing. One day I woke up to a new year and rumours are going around that prices of oil are gonna sky rocket and supply is running short. And now the news say that each person (or was it each family?) can only buy up to a maximum of 5kg of cooking oil.

My mom is mad because she can’t buy any peanut oil; it has to be peanut coz she wants to make peanut cookies. And I’m excited because this feels like the end of the world. That's how boring my life is. Brace yourselves! Food supply is running short! Woa…wait. Food running short? That’s a scary thought. Imagine no more cheese for the rest of your life. Or no more fast food because health terrorists bombed every fast food chain on the planet. Or no more char siew because Muslim terrorists bombed every pig farm in the world. Oh I’m making another racist slur.

Oh my god! Oh my god! State of panic! I think we should all go grab all cheese, chocolates, burgers, and every other junk food you can think of off the shelves! Go! Go!

Who owns the fish?

2008-01-01T03:31:00.000+08:00

I saw this riddle in someone's profile:

1. In a street there are five houses, painted five different colours.

2. In each house lives a person of different nationality.

3. These five homeowners each drink a different kind of beverage, smoke a different brand of cigar and keep a different pet.

THE QUESTION: WHO OWNS THE FISH?

HINTS:

1. The Brit lives in a red house.
2. The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
3. The Dane drinks tea.
4. The Green house is on the left of the White house.
5. The owner of the Green house drinks coffee.
6. The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
7. The owner of the Yellow house smokes Dunhill.
8. The man living in the centre house drinks milk.
9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.
10. The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
11. The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
12. The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
13. The German smokes Prince.
14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
15. The man who smokes Blends has a neighbour who drinks water.

ALBERT EINSTEIN WROTE THIS RIDDLE EARLY DURING THE 19th CENTURY. HE SAID THAT 98% OF THE WORLD POPULATION WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO SOLVE IT.

I think I just solved it. So I'm the world's 2%? Maybe in 1899 haha. You try to solve it. I'm not going to tell you the answer just yet. And oh, please don't Google for the answer. Google doesn't give you answers. Neko-chan does. (Damn generator)

HAPPY 2008

2008-01-01T01:43:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 2008!!!

Do I look like I’m overdoing it with all the exclamations? I’ll offset it with a *sigh*. What the heck am I saying? Whatever.

I missed the chance to tell my friends “see you next year” today. And before I know it, it was already 2008. Now I have to wait a whole year. Great. Then I thought, there are still many other countries that are still in 2007. Imagine yourself looking at Earth from space, you would see balls of colourful lights moving from one side of Earth to another as people start to countdown to the new year. No? Shut up.

So…for the fun of saying it, See you next year!

(I could edit the time of this post to make it 2007 but…never mind)

P.S. Next year, read all about my family dinner and my new year eve!

Random facts about Runawaycat

2007-12-31T02:15:00.000+08:00

1. Runawaycat is not Politically Correct. She is just Correct. Always.

2. Runawaycat was once charged with attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Runawaycat does not "attempt" murder.

3. No matter what your mother always said, Runawaycat can tune a fish.

4. Runawaycat make onions Cry.

5. There is no Control button on Runawaycat's computer. Runawaycat is always in control.

6. Runawaycat visits an active volcano every morning to get some of "the best damn espresso on Earth".

7. Runawaycat's dog is trained to pick up her own poop because Runawaycat will not take shit from anyone.

8. 182,000 Americans die from runawaycat-related accidents every year.

9. Runawaycat eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, she uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which she uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."

10. Runawaycat does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Runawaycat's fists is inside her own body.

11. Runawaycat has to register every part of her body as a separate lethal weapon. Her spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.

12. Runawaycat knows the last digit of pi.

13. The world's fastest car has 7 gears. 5, 6, and Runawaycat.

14. Runawaycat drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

15. Guns don't kill people. Runawaycat kills People.

16. Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take runawaycat to kill you...Fourty seven times.

17. Runawaycat once participated in the running of the bulls. She walked.

18. When you say "no one's perfect", Runawaycat takes this as a personal insult.

19. Mr. T once defeated runawaycat in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, runawaycat invented racism.

20. Runawaycat qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.

I got too excited and did 20 facts. Inspired by Karljam's (CY) post. Random fact generator.
Did you think I thought of all these myself? Hehehehe. Now I'm gonna try Neko-chan.

Random facts about Neko-chan

1. Neko-chan doesn't use pickup lines, she simply says, "Now."

2. Neko-chan will attain statehood in 2009. Her state flower will be the Magnolia.

3. In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a woman, and vanquish evil from the land. That woman is not Neko-chan, because Neko-chan killed that woman.

4. When Neko-chan goes to donate blood, she declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

5. 4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Neko-chan as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.

6. Neko-chan eats eight meals a day. Seven are steak, and the last is the rest of the cow.

7. Neko-chan is not capable of hitting a target on the broad side of a barn. Every time she tries, the whole damn barn falls down.

8. When Neko-chan looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Neko-chan and Neko-chan.

9. Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Neko-chan touches turns up dead.

10. Neko-chan CAN believe it's not butter.

11. Neko-chan sleeps with a night light. Not because Neko-chan is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Neko-chan.

12. Google won't search for Neko-chan because it knows you don't find Neko-chan, she finds you.

13. Neko-chan sleeps with a pillow under her gun.

14. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Neko-chan allows to live.

15. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Neko-chan once swallowed a turtle whole, and when she crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

16. The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Neko-chan.

17. Neko-chan was once on Jeopardy. This show is notable in that it was the first occasion in Jeopardy history that Alex Trebek had appeared without a mustache. And a head.

18. Neko-chan describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts".

19. A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Neko-chan, 3. Cancer

20. Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Neko-chan because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Neko-chan' autobiography.

See, I got carried away again. Better stop. Now I'm all awake. Sheesh.

Vandalizers and taxes

2007-12-29T00:19:00.000+08:00

I was waiting behind a couple (let’s just assume they’re a couple, makes typing so much easier compared to ‘a girl and a long hair guy whom I had mistaken for a girl at first’ [oh heck, I typed it out after all]) Sentence too long! Where was I? Ok, I was waiting for the couple to pay their parking fees at the autopay machine when the girl started abusing it by hitting the buttons violently. I could vaguely hear her saying, “It can do this…”

My guess is she was trying to demonstrate to her long haired boyfriend that the machine can vomit out receipts, or change languages. God knows. I don’t understand violent language.

I hate people who do these kinds of things. They’re those who will spoil public properties eventually and give everyone a headache. Stupid girl. Stupid, stupid girl.

They left after she was satisfied and after I rolled my eyes a million times. At least my eyes hurt for a good reason. Oh wait, you don’t know that.

The screen was displaying some language that was totally Greek to me. Thanks a lot. Thank god operating it is a no brainer. Well anyway, I was about to put the parking ticket into the slot when I saw another card there. Hmm? They forgot their ticket? Yes! Now you can’t drive out! Serves you right!

But actually, the card was a receipt. Funny for the receipt to come out from the same slot you would put your ticket in. I had to remove it but there was nowhere to throw it so I slipped it into my shopping bag.

Look, the government taxes parking fees as well. Why do they have to tax everything and still make us pay so much for food? Are they trying to starve us all? I think they tax donations as well. Heartless monsters! We have enough ‘onions’ in this country already, thank you. Maybe you should channel the cash elsewhere, like sponsoring another astronaut to go to space!* That’d be a wonderful idea.

Footnote: *For the sake of those slow people, I’m not singing praises about the government, thank you very much.

I love pooping

2007-12-28T23:21:00.000+08:00

Have you ever thought about that? That you love to poop? As in, literally, poop? Here’s one of my poop posts again. I did it before. It’s periodical event. And another thing, don’t imagine, for your own sake.

I just realized a moment ago that I like to poop. It’s like you’re dumping all those toxic out of your body. Toxic begone! It’s particularly exciting when you poop a lot. It’s like how much more can I poop out? You feel as though you’re filling up the toilet. As if you’re a pooping machine in a course to clean your colon. I guess by now you would have known that I just pooped a pile not long ago.

And then sometimes I would see how fast I can poop. Don’t you? You go in, sit on the toilet, and poop! You’re done! And you impress everyone else by how fast you can do it.

So…basically I’ve finished my story about pooping. And uh…that’s it. Poop!

Merry Closing

2007-12-24T17:19:00.000+08:00

My plan was to go to library after class, search for whatever materials I will need for the assignment and get it done with. I happily drove to the library thinking that my job will be done, at least until Thursday where the real work comes in.

I pushed open the door, walked in, ignoring the guard sitting by the entrance like I always do. Then I heard him calling me.

Guard: Hello, hello.

Wait, why is he calling me? I’m not wearing a mini skirt.

Me: Yes?

Guard: Sudah tutup la. (The library is closed lah) He said with a don’t-you-know-that face. The 'lah' here justifies it.

Me: Har? Hari ni tutup pukul berapa? (What time does it close today?)

Guard: 4:30.

I looked at my watch and it was already 4:30. Curse you!!! So, now you celebrate Christmas? I didn’t know that. What, you have to go home early to exchange gifts? Have Christmas dinner?

God dammit everytime I go there it closes!!! Ok so maybe it was 5 out of 10 times. But who ever experiences the library closing on them half of the time!?

Now I only have Wednesday to settle it since Thursday morning is the meeting. Fark. And a Merry Christmas to you.

How happiness might taste like

2007-12-24T00:28:00.000+08:00

I had one of the best dinners on Friday. It was in J.L. Gourmet in Prangin Mall. I was told that they have very nice mushroom soup twice this week so it became a must try. Indeed it was the best! God, what have I been eating all this while?! For the first time in my life, I finished my mushroom soup. I never finish my soup. I have no manners. But this one…it’s the taste of happiness!

For an affordable price of RM 16.90 you get a set meal with a soup, dessert, the main dish, and good service! The soup……the soup…..shit now I’m all hungry.

Gimme a break

2007-12-22T21:11:00.000+08:00

I hate it when a new semester begins. It’s a time when I’m at lost the most and to make it worse assignments start pouring in. I’m supposed to be searching for information for an assignment but here I am, typing this soon-to-be-whining entry.

I have been staring at the words for a long time and yet I still couldn’t comprehend what it wants. What am I supposed to search for? It looks simple but the more I stare at it, the more complicated it gets. Sometimes a word so familiar appears but I just couldn’t recall what it is. Arghhhhh. What sin have I done to have to go through this torture over and over again? I wanna nap.

There's always a kaypo story after a haircut. But today...

2007-12-21T22:54:00.000+08:00

*Kaypo - busy body

There’s someone close to me who is convinced that I’m fully incapable of allocating the money I have for various purposes and that whatever decision I make is always wrong or inferior. I dare say, cash wise, I’m richer than her, unless she’s got money stashed away somewhere that I don’t know of. And yet, I’m incapable of managing funds, so she thinks.

The things I buy are always overly expensive to her yet usually it’s the other way round. Her stuffs are usually more expensive and she hardly uses them. Who is wasting funds now? Shoes I buy are always pricey, clothes I buy are usually hideous, souvenirs I buy are inappropriate, hairstyles I cut are boring, yada yada yada.

Oh by the way, the thing that sparked off this post is that I had a relatively expensive haircut and my hair wasn’t surprisingly different from what I had before so…nag nag nag. When I said the reason for this is because I wanna keep the length and perm it, she burst into a ruckus talking about how curly, wavy, whatever hair is this and that and I should never do it and that the stylist just wants my money blahhhhhhhh blahhhhhhhhh. And also why I didn’t ask for Christopher or a guy stylist instead of the advantage-seeking girl. Yes the girl is trying to get me to do expensive treatments which I turned down. Note: Avoid that girl next time.

See how she contradicts herself? To her I was supposed to come back home today looking like Hebe though I’m not sure if that hair really suits me. So I came home with my old style with minor changes and she’s all brouhaha! Thanks for ruining my day.

Whenever I buy things I would think over and over again, in other words, I act like an obasan. Thanks to who?

I’m not going to dwell anymore on this. I don’t like to bad mouth my family. (Oops I just did) And oh yea, some of you here, I can picture your faces right now, don’t come to me and say how bad she is. I’m the only one who can say that. Stay off or your name will be etched in the Wall of Hate.

I'm too sexy for my phlegm, so sexy I can't withstand

2007-12-17T22:12:00.000+08:00

Someone has been vandalizing our lifts or if you prefer, elevators with phlegm. Clearly that someone wasn’t taught that spitting is not something you do in public. Like the other thing you don’t flash around freely (some people do it for a price), it’s a private act reserved at home into the sink or in the toilet. But considering that some people still enjoy being watched while they do the other private thing, or how some think butt cheeks are sexy, I guess they find spitting a beautiful work of art. Unfortunately, people live by the norm. The norm says, NO SPITTING IN LIFTS YOU SON OF A BITCH!

You don’t have to astound us with your amazing work of art. It doesn’t matter if your disgusting goo creates a star on the uninteresting black lift floor or colors the walls with streaks of brown dripping lines. Nobody cares, so keep it to yourself. In fact, people will only get revolted. Please save us from having to look at your brilliant designs. They’re nauseating. And if you don’t mind me saying this – keep your god damned germs to yourself and leave them out of the air we breathe, you idiot.

Footnote: I haven’t been updating my other blog have I? Well, there are things here and there for me to do and time flies! But I’ll finish it before December ends, I promise, by hook or crook. Should I say thanks to phlegmingway and his works for giving me this opportunity to stand here and receive this self nominated award for successfully waking up from blog hibernation? Pfft. Fuck you. I’m not going to stay so phlegmatic about this.

Meme: 2005 in Music

2007-12-14T11:29:00.000+08:00

Found this meme in Tizzy's blog. She tagged nobody but it seems fun to do and is different from the usual memes. <- is that even correct? :P

Go to the Wikipedia home page and click random article. That is your band's name.
Click random article again; that is your album name.
Click random article 15 more times; those are the tracks on your album.

By the way, I can't think of a title for this post, so I random-articled it. Hah! New word.

Band name: WebCT Vista (what's this? geek band?)
Album name: Sanguko

Tracks:
1. Shawn Mayer
2. Christianity in Europe (a carol?)
3. Ground effects (this should be the band name!)
4. Howard Morgan
5. The Highlands (this also sounds like a band name. A boring one)
6. Salt Creek
7. Viscosity (what the...what kind of a song name is this?)
8. Sprezzatura (whoa I like this!)
9. Lady Eve Balfour
10. C. Louis Leipoldt (orchestra?)
11. Escambray (cool...it's a newspaper name. They're cool)
12. Kościelniki Górne-Janówka (try reading this :P)
13. Harehills
14. Dimsum (Yippie yay!!! But it's not what I initially thought it was. Who cares)
15. Hartwig's Praomys

Unfair! I get all ugly song names and Tiz's are so nice! Did you cheat? Did you? Did you? I'm sure you did! But I do have a lot of varieties; from carols to orchestra to uh...yea I have varieties.

Aaaa....chooo!

2007-12-13T01:49:00.000+08:00

Arghh!! I keep sneezing! I had an argument with my mom yesterday about how Vitamin C doesn’t really work for your immune system. I don’t remember how we ended up arguing about that because both of us hardly take any supplements.

I was telling her I don’t fall sick easily and that I usually only fall sick once a year. And I don’t even take Vitamin C. I was also telling her I didn’t fall sick this year and the last and she said, “Who tells people they never fall sick. What a stupid thing to say.”

Hey, you made me say it to prove you wrong!

Damn. You know how things are; when you say something, the opposite happens. It’s proven to happen most of the time. I guess you know why I’ve been sneezing so much today.

Aaaa..aaa…choooo! Tsk.

It’s all because of the stupid nail polish. I was using it to cover up my black nail and my whole room was filled with the smell pf nail polish for the rest of the night. By the time I went to bed, my nose was blocked. And it still is today. I’m not officially sick yet but this sure is the sign I’m going to be.

I shall not take medicines. I shall prevail! No worries, I’m not going to do the Rambo again.

Aaaa…choo! Argh damn. Tissue!!!

No money, no honey

2007-12-12T21:15:00.000+08:00

There's a show which my mom watches. (Actually she watches almost everything) She told me about this episode of 'On the Road' where they went to Cambodia and this boy who said something really funny.

I found it funnier when my mom told it to me. Maybe now it's not as funny coz I already know. Anyhow, pay attention to what the boy tells Nicholas Tse.

The door knob, the dog, the clouds, they're all stingy!

2007-12-11T22:15:00.000+08:00

I was waiting for my turn in the washroom today when two girls, one at the mirror admiring herself and another in the cubicle, were talking. Ms. Vain was so loud, it sounded as if she was asking for a fight.

Ms. Vain: Jack…bla bla bla…Bryan…bla bla…Andy…yada yada yada…something something…so stingy!

Ms. Cubicle: Mmmghm?

Ms. Vain: Sio khi (gets angry easily)

It wasn’t clear because I didn’t really listened to what they were talking about.

Ms. Cubicle: Mghmmhm..ingy?

Ms. Vain: It means sio khi!

Har?? Stingy means sio khi? And she said it so confidently? Hah!

After we left, they were still talking loudly like it was nobody’s business. Well, actually yea, it was nobody’s business.

Anyway, right after we went out I asked my mom, “Did you hear what she said?”

“Yea, she said stingy means sio khi and when her friend said it means kiam siap (stingy) she confidently said it’s not.”

Hahahaha! Delusional girl. Hey, the door knob is stingy too. And the rose is Jesus. Ok ok fine, so I was watching the Christians are delusional* video on Youtube yesterday. I just wanna mention a little about it alright. Just the word delusional. There.

Footnote: *The video is boring besides his funny stresses on the word 'magically' and his funny conclusions.

What is your lie?

2007-12-10T02:02:00.000+08:00

Warning: Religion talk. If you’re like the woman I’m about to mention, don’t read this. But of course in order to know if you’re like that woman, you’ll have to read. Well, whatever it is, if you’re easily irritated, don’t read.

People always come to the shop and ask for discounts. They would say they got this and that price the other time or last Wednesday afternoon or when their hair was still black. Some are telling the truth, some are just taking advantage of the uninformed you.

There was this one time when a woman came in and asked for a price which was quite hard to make. She was probably the boss’ friend and boss’ friends usually get big discounts. The boss obviously wasn’t around, or I wouldn’t be writing this in the first place, and the senior workers weren’t there too.

There was nobody for me to ask and the woman’s name wasn’t in the customer price log, so I could only give in to her persistence. I’m not going to repeat what other people have complained about the boss not recording the special prices he gives his pals. I’ll save the boss ranting madness when I get my tail squashed by him.

So then, back to the woman. I carelessly blurted out the words “Ok, I trust you” without a second thought. Wrong thing to say, I admit. But you know what she said?

“What? Why would I lie? I’m a Christian.”

Hohoho! Christians don’t lie? So if I’m not a Christian, and I’m not by the way, I lie? Ho…ho! Ok fine, so I’m twisting things a little here. Let me rephrase; just because you’re a Christian you don’t do lies? So if you’re not a Christian, there’s a probability that you’re lying? Ok I just went back to where I started. Whatever.

I so wanted to start a lip war with her but the customer is always right, so I just looked down, rolled my eyes, curled my lip in contempt and hit the numbers on the cash register.

“Thank you very much.”

Maybe these few Christians should do the scientologists’ famous line, ‘How many crimes have you done today?’ but instead change it to ‘How many lies have you said today?’ Ok, fine, so I went a bit far on that. I'm bored. And I want to poke fun at scientologists.

Yahoo! My Engrish get A+!

2007-12-08T22:33:00.000+08:00

Let's see how many mistakes you can detect.

Click on picture to enlarge.

Black toe-gic

2007-12-06T22:58:00.000+08:00

Update on my toe:

My toe has been cursed! Don’t come near me or the curse will pass on to you! (which I don’t mind, really) Just in case you didn’t get the title, it came from the word black magic. Lame, I know.

Sorry the photo is as blur as my state of mind.

It’s all black. At least that’s what I thought. Somehow some parts uh…un-clotted itself and turned back to maroon. Oh what do I do? My colleague told me hers never grew out and she had to poke it (OUCHHHHHHH!!!) and squeeze it out. CY says it’ll grow out which I agree through experience. But I’ve never had one so big before!

Grow! Abra cabra dabra ohm ohm groooowwww! I’ll just have to chant.